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Saturday, July 23, 2016

Trailer Hot Take: Luke Cage/Iron Fist

This weekend is San Diego Comic Con, and around this time the floodgates usually open for all sorts of first looks, trailers, news, notes, and general nerd-dom. For fans of Netflix and their Marvel offers, this was a big week with both a trailer for Luke Cage, and a teaser for Iron Fist. Let's dive in and take a look.

First look at Frankie Faison playing Pop
Ready....
Kick in the door, waving the car door....
THEE SHOT of the trailer
These are so many things to look into this shot, done with great purpose. It's masterful
Remy "Cottonmouth" Danton
Look at that beauty. With an ODB track on the trailer, and A Tribe Called Quest working the soundtrack....what more could you want from this....

and now....

We don't know much yet about the adventures of Danny Rand and his kung-fu antics, but here are a few stills from the teaser.

Young Danny with his mom as the plane goes down
Monks....so you know where this is going
Mr. Danny Rand

With these two trailers it finally fills out the roster of The Defenders, which is supposed to premier sometime in 2017. Fun times ahead for all!

Wednesday, July 6, 2016

3 Simplistic Things: June 2016

We are half-way through the year already, can you believe it?! The dog days of Summer are here, so the news is a little thin, but let's look at a few things.

Winter is Here
This season was both a culling of the field for a lot of characters on the show, and an olive branch to some fans...cough....DJ...cough...who were growing tired of seeing bad things happen to good characters. This was also the first season not truly behold to books that may or may not even come out in the next decade.

People Will Watch Anything by Pixar
Finding Dory is proof positive that Pixar has their priorities backwards, and perhaps Ellen Degeneres has photos of John Lasseter doing....things....who knows...Anyway, perhaps this film is good, perhaps it's not, but I don't really care, but I guess nearly a billion people are right. Right?

RIP Anton
Live long and prosper.....

Til next month......kthnxbye

Monday, July 4, 2016

Independence Day: Resurgence

Independence Day: Resurgence - Trash

 

Never has a movie pissed me off more. I mean wtf is going on here? Every element from 96's ID4 is horrifically whored out like the little slut it apparently is. Listen I get ID4 is not perfect as some people make it out to be, but it was a good summer film that I thought was honestly pure fun. A sequel was never needed. But if it was to become a reality this is far from it. Resurgence is a mess it simply is a thrown together money grabber like Sony is doing with Ghostbusters. There is no reason for any of these films to be made but for greed little shits to make money. This new ID4.2 world is a overblown CG shit feast of a futuristic 2016 that does nothing but make me cringe the entire time.

This whole this is just sad. Everything about this is disgustingly sad.


Dylan Hiller (Hiller's son) who is played as a complete douche by is back but in the place of his father. Will Smith didn't want to come back and I fully understand why. The thing about him being thrown into his fathers role is that even though Dylan hasn't done anything worthy, for some reason he gets to ride his fathers coattails and is placed on the same pedestal. What the hell has he done himself?! Oh and the fact that Will Smith dies during a Test-flight makes the hero Hiller more like a zero. It would of been better if he ate a bullet because he couldn't take the fame and nightmares anymore. Or maybe because he saw this train wreck. Dylan Hiller is one annoying ass character.

Thor's brother can't lead a movie to save is life. He has no charisma. His acting is fine but the dude just can not hold a film on his own. His dialogue also makes him another annoying character in a already bloat annoying character film. Why this character is even here is a mystery to all. Thou he does make a lot of stupid faces which made the film a bit more enjoyable...a bit more.

Goldblum is back! He's playing the same character as before, just for some reason seems to be a lot smarter now. I mean he was a smart dude before but in this movie he just guesses everything and it's always completely right. There is like 5 times where everyone is like, "What is this...". Goldblum just pops in with the right answer out of the blue. The writers did a poor job on this film. Goldblum being brought back was a way to make their job easier to explain and keep plot-holes from manifesting.

Bastards. Oh yeah

Goldblum's dad is back, he does nothing but put a whole school bus of kids in danger of being brutally killed. Yep that's it. Seriously watch the movie, he does nothing.

President Bill Pullman is back and...Makes another speech. You know it worked before, but this one is very forced, like rape. Plus his voice was all over the place I'm not sure what happened there and he takes a place of another character from the first ID4. (One that is already dead) Again he's thrown in because its a sequel! So lets throw Vivica Fox in as well. Who is not a stripper anymore, she a doctor! Good for her and her douche son.

The ending is pretty much the same as the first one, killing the aliens and hugging in a desert. I must say this was one of the laziest movies I've seen in years. Guess what? The ending is setup for a sequel. Yep and boy will you be amazed with this ending.

All and all this movie did nothing. Really it is the direct to VHS blockbuster shit version of 96's ID4. It was utter trash.

Ep. 71: Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice - Ultimate Edition - Movie Commentary: July 2016

Batman V Superman

 2016 | Superhero | 181 minutes

Today on this 4th of July we fight a 3hr war, one we thought we would lose. But we made it through all 3hrs of Zack Snyder's poor choices to bring you another Simplistic Reviews Movie Commentary. We're sure you have better things to do today. Drink and Eating come to mind. But the time may come when you must watch that

Batman V Superman

Dawn of Justice

Ultimate Edition

Extended Cut

Collectors Edition

Movie Commentary

Christ that's a mouthful. Then lets watch it together. A army of one. A uprising to be independent from unbelievable plot holes in a $250 million dollar movie. I mean it's crazy to think these people are professionals and still somehow find work.

So remember young ones. You don't need to jam 10 pounds of shit into a 5 pound bag. Fill up that first bag with all that needed shit and grab another 5 pound bag to finish stuffing that shit. Because having two bags of shit is okay, not one overstuffed bag of shit with plot holes throughout its 3hr run time is okay. Shit boys and girl, that just doesn't fly!






 

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