one word reviews of Movies and TV

Thursday, October 18, 2018

31 Films of Halloween: Rob Zombie's Halloween and H2


In order to expedite the process, and since I feel it appropriate to connect these two films together, I'm giving you guys a two-fer today with the EGO project that you might call "Rob Zombie's Halloween and Rob Zombie's Halloween 2" "H2," regardless, call it what you will.

The long and short and Zombie's vision is that it isn't horrible. It's shot expertly, makes you feel real grimy, like you are watching a documentary about Michael Myers and how he become the sister murdering, babysitter slaying enigma we know today, or if Zombie has anything to do with it, no longer an enigma.

If I've said it once, I've said it 100 times; the allure, at least to me, is that there is no reason for Michael Myers or why he kills...he's pure evil. I don't need an entire half of one film telling me how bad of a childhood Mikey had, I don't need it.

Oh, and you'll find this fun. With all the different versions of each film floating around, its a cool game to see what version you like since they could all impact each film and how it's perceived. I thought the Theatrical and TV version of "Halloween 2" was enough, geesh!

Sorry, let me step off my white horse... 

Wednesday, October 17, 2018

31 Films of Halloween: Halloween: Resurrection


What can be said about "Halloween: Resurrection." This is a horror film firmly trapped and a victim of it's own era, and it honestly feels like the inmates are running the asylum while director Rick Rosenthal is tied up in a closet somewhere.

You would think that four years between "H20" and "Resurrection" something special could have been created, but instead we get the worst Michael Myers mask in the film's history, Busta Rhymes doing kung-fu and delivering and epic SPEECH about who Michael Myers isn't a headline or a news story, but instead a killer shark...yeah, that what we got this time around.

In the very least, "Resurrection" should give you a good laugh by how inane the dialogue is written and delivered by the cast, so I guess you can say this is by far the funniest edition in the series, which really says a lot...oh, but at least Katee Sackhoff is pretty rad.

Tuesday, October 16, 2018

31 Films of Halloween: Halloween H20


To be fair, this was the first time in a long, very long, time I actually sat down and watched "Halloween: H20." And honestly, it's not as bad as "The Curse of Michael Myers" and Dimension Films hedges their bets on a new crop of heartthrobs, WB drama starlets, and oh yeah, this is the first of two films where we get to see the acting talents of hip-hop royalty, namely LL Cool J in this film.

Seeing Jamie Lee Curtis back in the fold is fun and shows that she never forgot what film shot her to stardom, unlike some actors that like to forget that they were in a horror film...*cough*...Kevin*cough*Bacon*cough*

But after some atrocious outings, and this being the 20th anniversary, there was certainly an OBLIGATION to right the ship.

Monday, October 15, 2018

31 Films of Halloween: Halloween 6: The Curse of Michael Myers


"Halloween 6: The Curse of Michael Myers," is TOMFOOLERY at its finest. My favorite idea behind this film is that the theatrical version is consider the incomplete version and the "Producer's Cut" is the "true" version that everyone needs to see to full appreciate this film.

Perhaps "Curse" is really just a film lost in it's own Mid-90s Dimension Films bubble where if you had Kevin Williamson write something it would probably sell and add a rockin' Alt-Rock soundtrack. Oh, and you think the "Halloween" theme was bad in "The Revenge of Michael Myers" this one is just as bad, and last parting shot...this is the film that killed Donald Pleasance, so you're all welcome...

Sunday, October 14, 2018

31 Films of Halloween: Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers


You want some NONSENSE...either watch for the first time, or revisit "Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers." Telepathic links, mute nieces, costume contests, barn sex, metal nets, guys in cowboy boots, hats and wrist tattoos, this film's got it all.

Oh, and the "Halloween" theme for "Revenge" might be just as bad as the disco/techno version from "Halloween 2."

Saturday, October 13, 2018

31 Films of Halloween: Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers


A lot of people will say "Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers" is where the series took a TURN for the worse.

But if you really think about it, "Return" is pretty much a paint-by-numbers remake of 1978's "Halloween." It has a lot of the same tropes, but the bodycount is higher and this is when it's finally established that Michael Myers is a uncontrollable killing machine that can warp around...much like Jason...and has otherworldly strength and power.

Pro-tip: If you have the means, listening to the audio commentaries with the director, Dwight Little, or any other commentary you can find on the Blu-Ray is well worth it.

Friday, October 12, 2018

31 Films of Halloween: Copy Cat

#31FilmsofHalloween continues... With Copy Cat! #Copycat is a engaging film that keeps a good balance of intrigue & thrill. Sure, pretty much every aspect of tech appears outdated but overall the story holds up with Sigourney Weaver & Holly Hunter leading the way. Man, I really miss when studios would release films like this.

Thursday, October 11, 2018

31 Films of Halloween: Halloween 3: Season of the Witch


Tonight it's time to tell you all how UNDERVALUED "Halloween 3: Season of the Witch" is and will always be.

"Halloween 3" is the classic case of this is why we can't have nice things. Newsflash folks; "Halloween" was never supposed to just be Michael Myers. We were supposed to get anthology films about the fear we all fell during the Halloween season, but thanks to characters like Jason Voorhees and Freddy Krueger, who all begin pumping out sequels on a yearly basis, the first "Halloween" film became a victim of it's own success and failed miserably.

Sure, the story is insane and involved Stonehenge and Halloween masks that kill kids when they hear a TV jingle and an evil cabal of old white men, but looking at this film now, it's just crazy enough to work and should have been a bigger success when it was released.

Wednesday, October 10, 2018

31 Films of Halloween: Halloween 2 (1981)


My retrospective continues with 1981's "Halloween 2."

Man, a lot changed in three years. Whereas "Halloween" was almost more of a thriller that happened to feature a maniac stalking and killing teens, "Halloween 2" fully embraced being a slasher film, especially after the success of "Friday the 13th" which took the original "Halloween" formula, upped the gore, sexy, and body count.

I also think your enjoyment of "Halloween 2" will depend on what VERSION you watch. If I could recommend the TV VERSION, yes, the TV VERSION, you'll be doing yourself a favor.

Tuesday, October 9, 2018

31 Films of Halloween: Halloween (1978)

In the lead-up to 2018's "Halloween," I'm kicking off my retrospective tonight. From the 1978 version all the way to 2009's "H2," or Rob Zombie's "Halloween 2," or whatever you might want to call it.

I feel like every year I either post a review about the original "Halloween," or just jabber on about it on the podcast. Maybe it's because, to me, it's one of the most important horror films I've ever seen.

This year marks the 40th anniversary of John Carpenter's "Halloween," and needless to say, this film has been TESTED, and it still holds up. I was able to enjoy it in a theater this year, on an original 35mm print, in it's native format, and enjoyed it just as much as the first time I saw it. Surrounded by a couple of newbies, and my wife, it was a different experience to see something that influential in a different prism.

But good God, I never realized how many times Linda (PJ Soles) says "totally" in this flick. I mean, I always knew she said it, but man, it's TOTALLY too many time....totally...

Monday, October 8, 2018

31 Films of Halloween: Haunters: The Art of the Scare


Why do people like being scared, and why do people like to do the scaring? Is it a power trip? Is it a roleplaying element? Is it putting yourself in a situation where you feel like you are a minute away from dying but being able to do it in a controlled environment? "Haunters: The Art of the Scare," dives in the SUBCULTURE of people scaring and those wanting to be scared.

From homemade haunts, big budget productions and even into the SUBCULTURE that pushes people to their absolute breaking point in what can be called "legalized" kidnapping and torture with attractions like McKamey Manor, "Haunters" paints an interesting picture about our fascination with being scared and why we seek it out.

Sunday, October 7, 2018

31 Films of Halloween: Murder Party


I know everyone is going crazy over Jeremy Saulnier's latest "Hold the Dark" (which I'll get around to later this month) but in order to get to that point in time one has to remember where he's come from, and that genesis starts with "Murder Party," which for my money might be one of my favorite directorial debuts in quite some time. It's CONFIDENT filmmaking, and while many will dismiss it in favor of "Blue Ruin" or "Green Room" or just chalk it up as messy, this film is tons of fun and has some shoehorned in social commentary on the New York art scene and what not.

It's funny, weird, full of in-jokes, and showcases that even though Saulnier might be the indie circuit's new savior, he also knows how to throw a party...of the most murderous variety.

Saturday, October 6, 2018

31 Films of Halloween: Terrifier

It's difficult these days to create a horror icon. The last one that really comes to mind for me is Jigsaw from the "Saw" franchise, and some people might argue Annabelle and all that "Conjuring" crap, but Annabelle ain't Chucky, so that's settled law. Clowns came back in vogue with the remake of "IT" last year, and while Pennywise is a creep, Art the Clown is something else.

Without uttering a single word, Art's antics will give you quite the SHUDDER. "Terrifier" while not great, packs in enough blood, gore, and some really great practical effects in this grimy little slasher flick spun off from "All Hallows Eve." The film wraps up a nice little twist from the beginning of the film and of course opens the possible for Art's return, but do we really need a "Re-Terrifier?" Meh...

Friday, October 5, 2018

31 Films of Halloween: One Dark Night





One Dark Night is one letdown of a film. I was looking forward to a cast of Meg Tilly, Elizabeth Daily & Adam West. I had high hopes. The premise is great but the film takes you right to the end to bring out the goods. A missed opportunity that could be improved & released today.

Thursday, October 4, 2018

31 Films of Halloween: Crash


Crash is unlike anything you've seen before. A movie about people with fetishism for car crashes is as original as you can get. This isn't a film for everyone, but its intriguing, dark and sexual on a few different fronts. Casting is fantastic in this Cronenberg directed film.

Wednesday, October 3, 2018

31 Films of Halloween: Hereditary


Hereditary isn’t a perfect film. There are slow paced moments that drag on way to long and cheap tricks used to scare you. But from beginning to the end I was entertained more then I thought I would be going into it. Highlight is the cast with a great audio design and mix.  

Tuesday, October 2, 2018

31 Films of Halloween: Hell Fest (2018)


Judging "Hell Fest" at its core, it's just one of those TYPICAL, mediocre, generic horror films that will be forgotten about as quickly as it was watched. Copy and paste millennial characters that you want to see die, well except Bex Taylor-Klaus, who I actually think plays her part with some heart and fun, but despite being the season for horror flicks, this is a letdown.

If you take "The Funhouse," "Dark Ride," and your experiences at Halloween Horror Nights, that's "Hell Fest" in a nutshell, and if you've ever read the Batman story, "Cacophony" you might appreciate the ending, but overall it will divide audiences by and large.

And hey, there are far worse films at the bottom of the Netflix, Amazon, Hulu, and Shudder heap than this addition to the horror lexicon, so strap on your cat ears, take the train cart to the Deadlands and go on a Hell Ride...if you dare.

Monday, October 1, 2018

31 Films of Halloween: Camp Death III in 2D


We get our share of e-mails asking to watch films, and for the most part, we take a little time to check them out and give our honest, Simplistic Reviews, opinion.

The latest is "Camp Death III in 2D" from our friends North of the Border in the mythical land of Canada. The easy way to explain the BONKERS slasher film lampoon is that if you went to Vancouver, got really baked, watched about 24 hours of Troma flicks, washed that down with some "Trailer Park Boys" smoked another bowl, marathoned "Meatballs," all of the "Friday the 13th" flicks, did a little acid, watched "Sleepaway Camp I and II" maybe took a nap, and get awoken suddenly by some Frank Zappa music, and you might be ready for "Camp Death III in 2D."

Click HERE for more information on "Camp Death III in 2D!

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