Product categories

Month: July 2012

July 31, 2012


FAV of the month
The Dark Knight Rises
DJ’s Review / Matt’s Review / Justin’s Review

SoSo of the month
Something Wild

HATE of the month
The Amazing Spider-Man

TV SHOW of the month

July 30, 2012

The Adventures of Ford Fairlane

The Adventures of Ford Fairlane – Unbelievable
I have a love/hate relationship with Renny Harlin.  Sure he made “The Long Kiss Goodnight” “Nightmare on Elm Street 4” and “Cliffhanger” but he also made “Cutthroat Island” and “Deep Blue Sea,” so I wouldn’t call him the most reliable of directors, but if you give the guy the tools he can certainly succeed.  Case in point, “The Adventures of FordFairlane.”
It’s hard to believe, but Andrew Dice Clay, at one point, was the hottest comedian on Earth (and this isn’t an Earth 2 type of thing that DC pulls).  I mean the dude was selling out football stadiums, he could do no wrong, that is until he quit smoking and got fat
Anyway, Ford Fairlane, Mr. Rock n’ Roll Detective, is on the case of his career, but he hates Disco, especially Disco Express, I mean they blow dog, you know what I mean.  But don’t tell that to Lt. Amos (Ed O’Neill) because in a matter of seconds he’ll break out his old dance moves, and “Booty Time” will commence.
With a crap ton of cameos (Tone Loc, Morris Day, Shelia E) and Wayne Newton as the villain, I mean Mr. Vegas as the main villain of a movie, how could you not love this movie!  Ford Fairlane…..I fucked him, ohhhh!
Fun Fact:  No koalas were harmed in the making of this film.
July 29, 2012

Cloak & Dagger

Cloak & Dagger: Imaginary

Cloak & Dagger came out in 1984 (a fantastic time in movie and music history) and it holds up over all this time, even with the weak dated graphics. This is one of those films that you watch when you where younger and it sticks with you…Forever!

Why watch this film? Well…Do you like video games? Do you like 80’s films? Do you like good kickass films? This film is a good reason films are made. And today if you want to escape from the real life and sit down and enjoy a solid 101 minutes this film is for YOU!

It’s a fun kid’s film to watch. Yep thats right. It’s a family film even though people get shot and killed, especially from the 11 year old main character. When people say they don’t make them like they used too, here is a example. Could you imagine a kids film today with kids shooting spys? Yeah I too was totally born at the wrong time.

Without spoiling the story, it’s simply about a 11 year old kid named Davey (I know, such a dated name) who stumbles onto classified information hidden in a game cartage. And spys chase him down to retrieve the cartage.

This film also has one of the greatest scenes you will always remember. After seeing these two older people help this kid, that no one believes including his own father, your nightmares begin. I won’t even try to write it…
Watch this clip to see what I mean!

Trust me you will love watching this film!

July 28, 2012

Another Earth


This review will be shorter than some of my others.  Not because Another Earth is not a good film.  It and Inception are probably the two most ORIGINAL films I’ve seen in a decade.  Its because Another Earth is a film that is reliant on its reveals.  Where that can be bad in some instances, it is totally rewarding here.

All I’ll say about the plot of Another Earth is that it revolves around a post adolescent girl and a fateful night that changed her life and the life of everyone on the planet forever.  Well, two planets to be precise.  Cryptic enough?  Good.  Its worth the reveal.  Another Earth is a moral dilemma picture in the same vein as Doubt or Gone Baby Gone with a very interesting twist thrown in.

The casual and simplistic way first time director Mike Cahill shoots each scene adds to the film’s charm.  He gets a great performance from his cowriter and star Brit Marling and a stand out performance by William Mapother.  Does the last name Mapother sound familiar?  No?  It should, because its the real last name of William’s slightly more famous older cousin Tom Cruise.

Another Earth is certainly another film that’ll have you thinking and talking about it way after you’ve finished seeing it.  It deserves more awareness than it has gotten.  See it…be surprised that its one of “those” films…then be more surprised its actually more than that….then tell me I’m wrong.

July 28, 2012

The Fountain


For as long as this film has existed, I’ve been led to believe it sucked.  Not just by friends or critics.  But by the behavior of people behind its creation.  The Fountain was a passion project by director Darren Aronofsky that was originally slated to come out after his masterpiece Requiem For Dream.  Brad Pitt and Cate Blanchett were to set star in it.  However, late in the game, Pitt and Aronofsky began having creative difference and Pitt walked out on the movie.  In the 11th hour, Warner Brother tried to get Russell Crowe to fill in but he declined.  Cate Blanchett left after it seemed the film would never get made.  The project was finally shelved.

Now that was enough for me to think this film was going to be horrible. Films Pitt seem to have creative differences on tend to end up sucking. See the horrid The Devil’s Own and State Of Play. Aronofsky eventually got to make the film after agreeing to a way less budget and recasting with Hugh Jackman and Rachel Weisz. The result was a flop at the box office. It was booed at the Venice film festival and maligned by critics.

So, I rushed out right away to see it! No, I waited. Waited until this year to see it. With my expectations set to the proper low standard, I watched the film. As I began to watch it, I kept waiting for whatever it was people saw in it that was so terrible. Ten minutes passed. Then thirty. Then fifty. Then after two hours, the film was over. I sat there as the credits rolled and wondered to myself, “what was so horrible in that?” I didn’t have the desire to bang my head against a wall. Its a film that resonated in my mind days after I saw it (Unlike Some Films I’ve Seen Recently) and the things that resonated weren’t bad.

Don’t get me wrong. The Fountain is not an easy film to watch. Its the love story of two characters who may or may not be three sets of characters spanning three different time periods. (The Wachowskis will attempt a similar feat with Cloud Atlas) Its about the intangible ideas of life and death and ultimately acceptance without bridges or arrows pointing that out to the audience. Its subtext and analogies. So, I can understand why people may hate it.

There are things that can’t be denied about this film, plot structure be damned. Matthew LiBatique, Aronofsky’s long time cinematographer, is literally showing off in this film. The Fountain is a feast for your eyes. This is undoubtedly the BEST performance of Hugh Jackman’s career. He has to carry this film much like Hanks did in Cast Away. And the film will have you asking questions and debating the message it provides for years.

The Fountain is AMBITIOUS filmmaking around a time where most films cower behind the categories of safe and easily marketable. It may appear to be a sh*t sandwich on the surface with its production woes, critical reception and box office failure, but it would be a mistake to dismiss it completely. If you have the time and don’t mind giving your brain a bit of a work out, give it a watch. It isn’t an abomination. And after you watch…it’ll be hard to tell me I’m wrong.

July 27, 2012

Skin Deep

Skin Deep: Cockfighting

This film is simply about a womanizing writer with a drinking problem. His life is falling apart, he has writers block and is still in love with his ex-wife. He’s trying to fix his problems but keeps seeing woman who he must have.

Overall its a great film. Some very funny scenes including a very well known cockfighting scene.

John Ritter’s acting just steals every film he was in and this is one of them.

Watch this it’s Funny, it has John Ritter, it’s a underrated film and its a Blake Edwards film.

Scroll to top
The Simplistic Reviews Shop is now open! Due to COVID-19 shipments are being heavily delayed.  
Holler Box