Year: 2016

May 1, 2016

The Simplistic Reviews Podcast (Ep. 68) BONUS CONTENT

FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY

If you listened to the cold open to Episode 68 of The Simplistic Reviews Podcast, guest starring Matty Negs from Negs Best Thing and Al Pacino, you might have heard Julie in the background taping something in the recording studio.  In this Bonus Content clip, you can hear exactly what she was saying on her side of the glass.

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April 27, 2016

The Simplistic Reviews Podcast (Ep. 68) April 2016

FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY

 On this “Spring Cleaning” episode of The Simplistic Reviews Podcast, Matty Negs from Negs Best Thing Podcast helps us talk remakes of TV shows, reboots of Robin Williams films, Game Of Thrones, Prince, Coolio, and movie character fights to the death.  Oh and Al Pacino reads the phone book for us. All that and more on the April edition of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast.

Notes

Music


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April 14, 2016

Trailer Hot Take: Doctor Strange (Teaser Trailer)

Hey kids, Matt back again with another “Trailer Hot Take.” I really don’t pay much attention to network TV anymore, and I had no idea a Doctor Strange teaser trailer was dropping on “The Jimmy Kimmel Show” yesterday, so this was a little under my radar. But now that it’s on  EVERYONE’S radar, let’s jump right into the stills:

 Not much here, just the cool title card
The accident that likely begins Stephen Strange’s journey
Could this be Clea…which would eventually lead us to Dormammu?
Well, you have to hand it to him…..
What could this seal mean?
The Ancient One is here!
And The One knows what’s up…..
Mads Mikkelsen and his disciples….but who could he be playing…
Baron Mordo, but what are his ambitions this time around….
Marvel always knows how to give you those money shots…the cloak and the Sanctum Sanctorum
Overall a nice little tease of what’s the come, but we’ll see how the magic element is played up, and the lack of Wong in this trailer is a little odd, but whatever. This might be Marvel’s biggest gamble to date. Introducing magic was always a little risky to the MCU, but people thought introducing space with “Guardians of the Galaxy” was crazy too.
kthnxbye.
April 7, 2016

Trailer Hot Take: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (Teaser Trailer)

All the Interwebs is in a tizzy today and having a collective nerd-gasm over the reveal of “Rogue One: A Star Wars Story” the first in what is to be many one-off stories that will fill in the gaps in Star Wars canon.

With so much to talk about, let’s go to the stills and analyze this bitch!

Look at that title card…LOOK AT IT!!
Here is our first look at Jyn Erso (Felicity Jones) She’s got a little Ellen Page going on there….
Erso being led away with a mighty fine X-Wing hanging in the back.
A little Mon Mothma anyone….
Diego Luna looks on while Mothma gives Erso the 3rd degree it seems….
Now here’s the money shot…putting the finishing touches on the Death Star
A high ranking Imperial, but who could it be?
Forest Whitaker strutting his stuff….friend, foe, or something in-between?
Donnie Yen about to go all “Blade 2” on these Storm Troopers.
Now here is the good stuff…Royal Guards seemingly guarding a tube. Could Vader be in the tube, or is that Vader walking up to the tube…or is it something different all together?
AT-AT’s going to war against the Rebels
This will certainly raise speculation, especially with the VO behind it. Is Erso a true blue Rebel, does she betray the cause, or something in-between….again…..
A lot to speculate in just a trailer just shy of :90, but we’ll have much more to talk about when a full length trailer appears soon enough.
April 7, 2016

SR Podcast (Ep.67) Police Academy 4 – Movie Commentary: April 2016

Ready for another Police Academy Movie Commentary?

Nether are we…

But hey this is the last movie in the series and without a doubt better then that last one. 

So for that last time (Thank God)
Grab that popcorn, get ready for dick jokes and enjoy the fact that there is no more Comdt. Mauser
Ladies and Gentlemen this is…

Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol

1987 | 1hr 28min | Comedy

We are finally done! Every Single Police Academy Film has been commented on by the gang at Simplistic Reviews.

Every Single One…

April 4, 2016

3 Simplistic Things: March 2016

As we enter the 2nd quarter of the year, there is no shortage of news that intrigues, bewilders, outrages, or brings people together, well, I lied about the last part, nothing rips people apart more than news about comic books movies and TV shows.

1. The Return of “Daredevil” on Netflix

After the success of Season One and the revelation of “Jessica Jones” the expectations were sky high for the return of Hell’s Kitchen’s favorite lawyer/masked vigilante on Netflix. While some of the reviews have been mixed with a strong start to the season and a lacklaster ending, but the addition of Elektra and The Punisher to the cast for Season Two upped the stakes and made many fanboys very happy, unless your name is Frank Miller, and in that case you don’t like many things.

2. Screen Room will destroy us all

If you’re like me, you’re going to go to the theater no matter what when there is a huge film release, but if you’re like some other people you don’t 1) like leaving he house for anything or 2) you have kids and in that case, well, yeah, you have kids…..

With Screen Room being proposed, by the “incomparable” Sean Parker of Napster fame, the idea has some directors seeing the Apocalypse for the film industry, while others are behind this. I think, if you have the will to pay for a $150 setup, and want to pay $50 bucks for every first-run film for a 48 hour rental, hey that’s cool. I’ll keep going to the movies on Tuesday for $6 ticket, and $5 popcorn.

3. The BvS Divide

This has been a fun one to follow. Fans love it, critics hate it. Rotten Tomatoes sink it, IMDB cheer for it. Where does Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice” fall for you. Justin was okay with it, DJ was ambivalent on it, and I was well, MEH on it. Oh what fun!

Catch you guys news month…kthnxbye

March 25, 2016

Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice

Spoiler Free Review
Batman V Superman
Dawn of Justice:
Bloated 
 2h 33mins | Action | 2016

So how is Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice?

It’s Good. Not great…but good.



That’s it in a nutshell. The movie is fun, dark and gritty. Everyone’s sure to be favorite is Batman. Big reason I went to see it plus well… Wonder Woman. Been dying to see Wonder Woman in a movie. But Batman…he is simply amazing.

The film as a whole is riddled with problems. The truth is the movie itself is its own worse enemy.

Let’s start with the good.

Ben Affleck kills it as both Bruce Wayne and Batman. First actor that filled both those shoes since Keaton. Keaton as Bruce Wayne really? Yes he was the closest. When Batman Begins hit I thought Bale did the deuces, but as his mantel of Batman continued his voice became worse. Keaton in two films held the two better then anyone else since. Well until Affleck stole it from under his cape. Affleck steals the film. Just takes the film and runs with it. The voice is awesome. The cave is great and the Batmobile, ugh I want more. Alfred was great as well. He has a few moments that will make you grin. I simply cannot rest till I see a standalone film with those two again, I just cannot. I hope Affleck does a few Batman movies and continues this with what he has created. Oh when they do, please use one villain, stop the cramming of a few into one movie.  

Lex Luther, a lot of people will hate this version but I liked it. It’s different but simple. Lex is just crazy. He is ruthless, smart and pretty much a mad scientist. Dare I say at the end I liked it? True is half way into the film I hated Eisenberg’s performance. But as the mad scientist it grew on me and at the end I was intrigued to see where it will go in the future.

Visually the movie looks great. Its dark and I liked it. All the suits look amazing. Superman, Wonder
Woman and Batman look great. The costumes are just on point. I cannot talk more on how amazing they are.

Wonder Woman was kickass. I liked her a lot and I only wish there was more. I got excited when they call out Diana Prince’s name. Her as WW that costume looks great and when she popped up she received such a large cheer at the theater. Gal Gadot is Wonder Woman and I will be there on opening day when her film drops.

Listen Batman and Wonder Woman are the the best part of this bloated film. Everything else kinda makes you wonder why. But damn it was entertaining to watch this on the big screen.

What about the Bad stuff?

The film is 10 years too late. If this came out before The Avengers I think things would work out better. Like I said the movie is its own worst enemy. The idea of this film being the beginning of this larger world and following up with having a Justice League film is the biggest issue I have here. Because this isn’t one movie.

“This is 4 movies crammed into a 2hr and 33 min film. That just didn’t need to be”

Superman was under used and weak. This could of been better on the writers end. Then again I don’t care much for Superman anyway, but come on guys. There is so much to do with him yet they seemed to not want to do the leg work.

Should Superman exist is a great idea for a movie, maybe a Superman standalone one but we didn’t need to be here yet with this film. Why? Because they first should of created a single Batman movie. The two could create a build up to a real Batman V Superman. Here there isn’t much of a buildup. Mostly you see and feel it from Bruce but I wish we had a scene were you see him at the funeral for everyone at Wayne Enterprises or something really painful. Yes you do get hints but it doesn’t feel enough for me. That beginning was great but we needed more. You understand he takes this personal and he wants this not to happen again but it should of been more of a build up. You should see that anger build which we get but there should of been more. The movie just had no more room for it. Yet its a 2 and a half film. That shouldn’t be. The movie just had no idea where to go with itself.

It should of only been Batman and Superman. Each gets to bring 1 person. That is. But when you add the Dawn of Justice, things begin to go a different way. This doesn’t become a film about Batman vs Superman, it becomes a film about coming together which isn’t what we as the viewer were sold on.

I only wanted to see each other kick each others asses. We get that but its small. Next film should of been the building of the team. I didn’t want to hear about all these other characters now, I didn’t want to hear about anything but two guys who hate each other. But that is the issue.

Too much in one film.

What you end up getting is this back and forth.

Batman is great but then you switch to Diana Prince and your like shit I want to see her in her own film. Then it’s back to Clark, then Batman damn Batman is cool I can’t wait to see-then boom! Cut to Superman then back to Woman Woman then to Bruce then to Lex.

“Ugh I just want to see Batman that is all and damn I can’t wait to see a Wonder Woman movie”. This was my thought process, over and over again. We should of gotten that before hand.

This film is bloated. It has way too many comic book stories jammed in. Way too many characters.

Just way too much in a already too long of a film.

Oh and yeah Doomsday. You saw the trailer. Well there is more but its pretty much the same Doomsday. He changes a bit and gives Superman a run for his money. This whole part felt like it could of been better. Saw a lot of great opportunities but it didn’t go as far as it could.

There is this one great shot of Superman in space that looks great, but that’s all I can say without giving anything away.

Other then that it was fun to watch but

March 23, 2016

Attention!

Stop the Spoilers

Dear Reviewers & Youtubers,

With the release of Star Wars: The Force Awakens and Batman v Superman, we here at Simplistic Reviews have notice a very big problem. A problem so big that it only leads us to saying…
Most of you are stupid, egotistic, I need to get viewer/reader assholes.

Seriously it needs to stop with the spoilers.

Stop posting reviews with spoilers.

Stop tweeting spoilers.

Stop with the Youtube videos were all you do is spoil everything for everyone.

In regards to Batman v Superman:
A movie that doesn’t come out for 2 more days but seen by a lucky bunch 3 days ago, is already spoiled by them.
Wait 1 week from the opening date. Thats it. Just wait 1 week before spoiling anything.

It is not far to those who do not get the lucky privilege of seeing a film a whole 5 days before it comes out. Take us for an example. We are waiting for the earlier 1 day screening. Already we have had things thrown at us and it hasn’t even come out. We simply can not go on any form of online media because of this douchebaggery. We can’t even go on Instagram do to the need to spoil right away in the mofo comments.  

Wait 1 goddamn week! 
or GFYS


Sincerely,

Planet Earth

March 22, 2016

The Simplistic Reviews Podcast (Ep. 66) March 2016

FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY



On this ORDER 66 Episode of The Simplistic Reviews Podcast, the boys get prepped for Batman V Superman with a brand new skit.  Matt accepts our award from GeekCast Radio Network for best podcast. And to prove that they can be fair, the boys play a round of Simply Say Anything.  Trailers, Indiana Jones, and Daredevil talk.  All this and more on the March edition of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast.


Notes

Order 66
Sean Connery Slapping Women Explanation
Judge Reinhold
Predator Poster
James Franco Batman Cowl

Music

In Your Eyes By Peter Gabriel

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March 18, 2016

Trailer Hot Take: X-Men: Apocalypse (Final Trailer)

We’ve been getting some pretty nice trailers in the run-up to the Summer Movie Season, but I guess trailers are all you get when there is a glut of ho-hum films, so it’s easy to get excited.

This time on “Trailer Hot Take” we take a look at the latest, and what seems to be the final, “X-Men: Apocalypse” trailer. It’s a mixed bag of goodies and for me personally, my verdict is still out on this one.

I have to admit, I’m digging this 80s style. I mean, look at that purple V with the sports coat!
Oscar Issac on the slab, pre-Apocalypse. I’m interested to see how they weave this origin story.
So is the suit going to be something created through “magic” or an actual tangible suit, or of “celestial” origin.
The new and improved Magneto helmet
And the new and improved Magneto suit.
Who could this be in the scene with Quicksilver? Magda….Magneto’s wife?
Is the RUSH shirt a little too on the nose?
Pre-Archangel fighting Nightcrawler in Hell in a Cell.
It looks like William Stryker is back, but in what capacity.
I may not be an Oliva Munn fan, but at least they got the Psylocke costume and sword right.
Havok going crazy in Cerebro…but why?
I hope the X-Mansion was covered for Apocalypse Insurance.
With a ton of J-Law shots in this trailer, will she meet her end at the hands of our titular villain?
Well, that’s it for this Trailer Hot Take. kthnxbye.
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