April 2017 - Simplistic Reviews

April 20, 2017

(Ep. 85): Deadly Prey – Movie Commentary: April 2017

Deadly Prey

1987 ‧ Drama/Action ‧ 1h 28m

In Vietnam, he was the best… He still is!

You’ve requested it, We watched it!

Deadly Prey is a fun film no doubt about that, might not be great film but boy is this a stupid fun time of a watch. So put on those short shorts, grab a duby and lets do some killing!

Colonel Hogan is a ruthless former military officer who trains a large group of former U.S. Servicemen as mercenaries by having them hunt down and kill people they abduct off the streets of Los Angeles. Hogan’s greedy financier Michaelson threatens Hogan to speed up the men’s training or he will pull the plug on Hogan’s training camp. However, Hogan and his men meet their match when their latest kidnap victim turns out to be a tough gung-ho marine named Mike Danton who despite being unarmed and hunted, he manages to decimate Hogan’s men in detail. Frustrated Hogan, his tough right-hand man Thornton and personal assistant Sybil kidnap Danton’s wife Jaimy to force him in the open, while Jaimy’s retired police detective father tries to track down her and Danton who finds an unlikely ally in the form of a former marine buddy named Cooper who wants to help him take on all of Hogan’s men. (IMDB)

Simply Drinking: Take a drink of your favorite alcoholic beverage every time someone sneaks up on another person.

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By Simplistic Reviews
In 1987, Action, Cameron Mitchell, David A. Prior, David Campbell, Deadly Prey, Fritz Matthews, Movie Commentary, podcast, Rambo, Ted Prior, Troy Donahue
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April 20, 2017

Fandoms and Navigating the Golden Age of Television

Once a month, we have a segment on the podcast, “TV Roundup.” We discuss what we’ve been watching, and most of the time, it’s the same thing. Right around “Game of Thrones” time talk about that, Justin talks “Homeland,” and DJ usually signs the praises of “Mr. Robot” and most recently the resurgence of “Samurai Jack” on Cartoon Network. “Luther” has popped up, as well as “Gotham,” “The Flash,” “Arrow,” the list goes on.

But as many people have pointed out, and continue to remind us; WE’RE LIVING IN THE GOLDEN AGE OF TELEVISION!!!

So this got me thinking; how much is there really to watch in this “golden age?” So I made a list, and the list is quite extensive, and got me thinking; how does one find the time to fulfill all of their TV fandoms while going through a normal life of work, home life, children, watching film, being smarmy on the Internet, and sleeping…maybe.

One of the main reasons why I don’t watch so much TV is the overall time it takes. A film is pretty much one and done, and even that I’ve been having issues getting caught up. Sure, with On Demand and Binge Culture so abundant these days, it’s easier to watch more TV than ever, but is there any one person that just happens to watch everything on TV just to make sure that they can have an actual opinion on everything.

Yes, if you happen to be a professional writer/journalist it’s your job to watch everything and lend your “expert” opinion and create a cute little list of the Top Ten reason why you should be watching said show, or how this show “wins the Internet” or how this new actor/actress on said show is “everything,” or maybe even why you “can’t even” (that’s still a thing right) with a certain episode. The list goes on…

In doing a little research, yes, we research things occasionally on Simplistic Reviews, there are over 20 major networks and/or content providers releasing shows that have some type fandom attached to it. I’m sure I’m leaving quite a few channels or shows from this general list, but to my point, that’s how much is currently out there, TV-wise. HERE is just a brief look at just some I could come up with. Trust me, I’m missing a ton, so put the torches and pitchforks away if I forgot your precious little angst-ridden hipster drama, or anything that might be on CBS. CBS doesn’t exist.

I guess the real question is whether TV can keep up it’s momentum, or will it collapse under the weight of it’s own grand ambition. I’ve mentioned in a previous podcast how I see a quiet decrease in the quality of Netflix’s Marvel TV shows. It’s incredibly hard to keep momentum for so long without people starting to poke holes in the most minor of minor issues, and sure, even I’ve gotten into the act, but the miracle of the Internet and having a platform, even if it’s a small one, is that you’re able to have an opinion.

With the rise of fandom, comes the continued effort by everyone and anyone to stand up for their given fandom. People may argue about the perceived slide in quality of shows, or scoff at the fact that there is another comic book adaptation or the re-boot of a once beloved TV show from the 80s or 90s, but there always seems to be someone defending it, and for the most part, I commend that. Hell, even I’m not one that will write something off right away. At first I thought the “Lethal Weapon” TV show looked interesting, just from a nostalgia perspective. Have I seen an episode, nope.

But this is pretty much my MO with TV. Something might be interesting, but I still won’t waste my time, and if a show gets to a point of it being a chore to watch and show-runners are simply biding their time to get the show to be good again (I’m looking at you “Walking Dead”) I’m out. This is the same for “The Flash,” “Arrow,” “Agents of SHIELD,” seeing a trend here.. However, when a show does enter the zeitgeist of Film Twitter, I am compelled to watch since critics on the Internet are just as bad as cable news and their 24-hour news cycle. It’s pretty much watch, or be left in the dust, which is the vomit-inducing place we are with our Binge Culture. It really does want to make you binge-and-purge.

So let’s try this; how many shows do you in fact watch, either streaming or on cable or network TV. Do you feel an obligation to watch everything since we’ve been conditioned to think that everything that appears on the TV is important and fantastic? Leave a couple of comments, and/or just tell him I’m an idiot and trying to be a contrarian. Kisses, and good luck on that WGA Strike…

By Simplistic Reviews
In amazon, FX, Golden Age of TV, HBO, Homeland, Hulu, Mr. Robot, Netflix
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April 11, 2017

The Heat is On! Matt’s Top Ten Miami Heat Players

Many of you might know that DJ and I are Miami Heat fans. And no, we aren’t these Heat fans:

As a whole. we are just some of the worst. But you take the good and the bad, and my philosophy remains that all fans of teams are the worst. Fan is short for fanatics, take it like that. Sure, there are several people that love their team and simply just like to express it by dressing like their young children in backwards hats, jerseys, maybe some awesome sunglasses with the team name across the frames, and so on and so forth. But, hey, I’ve drunken yelled about hating Paul Pierce and Rajon Rondo before at a Heat game. Thanks Gray Goose (oh wow, I just realized how dickish that sounds).

With another season ending, I had little hope this year, especially when you are seeing a team with an 11-30 record. But low and behold, for the first time in a long time, the final game of the Heat’s season is actually going to mean something. Playoffs or Nothing. As a follower of the Heat (I won’t use the term fan, because I hate it) that’s exciting, that’s intriguing, that’s something that I missed before the days of the Big Three, and I honestly haven’t felt this way with the Heat since maybe 2003 or 2004.

I remember starting to get into basketball around 1993 or 1994. Of course everyone loved Jordan, but I liked seeing Shaq and Penny up in Orlando, and it was probably around 1995 or 1996 when I really started watching the Heat. I mean you had Tim Hardaway, Alonzo Mourning, Dan Majerle. Add in the play-by-play of Dr. Jack Ramsay, and it was Magic in Miami.

So let’s take some time to remember some of the greats that came through Miami. Keep in mind, this is a list of players that I appreciated, not necessarily the ones that caused people to wake up, drive to Sports Authority (RIP) and buy a bunch of iron-on basketball jerseys and fitted caps.

10. Rafer Alston

Skip 2 My Lou will always be one of my favorites, even though he wasn’t the best point guard in Heat history (spoiler, there are going to be a lot of PGs on this list). Alston was a risky pickup since he was only really known for his work on the ‘And 1 Mixtape’ circuit, but during a transitional period for the Heat in 2004, he was one of several things that I loved about the 2003-2004 Miami Heat team.

9. PJ Brown

Brown was the Heat’s Udonis Haslem before Udonis Haslem. Oh, plus he flipped Charlie Ward upside down during a game in 1998. He had a sweet little jump shot and he was just an overall good player. The Heat’s version of Charles Oakley if you will

8. Jason Williams

Sure, we got White Chocolate at the tail end of his career, but like Alston, he brought an element of fun to the Heat that was being built for a championship run after the acquisition of Shaquille O’Neal after Anthony Carter forgot to send in paperwork for his contract extension. So, maybe by proxy Anthony Carter should be my favorite Heat player of all time because of his Butterfly Effect-type blunder. Williams was great though, and he still showed some of his vintage Kings swag in route to the Heat’s first championship in 2006.

7. Bruce Bowen

Bruce Bowen played defense, hit 3-pointers, but couldn’t hit free throws. Who’d of thought? Bowen was another tough guy that didn’t take any shit from anyone, plus he karate kicked people in the face during games. He didn’t stick around very long with the Heat, but Bowen played tough on a tough Heat team that was almost good enough to win a championship if the chips fell in the right place.

6. Chris Bosh

Dwyane Wade and LeBron James were the draws during their time in Miami, but Bosh always seemed to be the most down to Earth guy on the team in a time of stars. He likes beer, dresses spiffy, and just seems like a genuine guy. Sure, lately it’s been a rocky ride with his health that likely soured his relationship with the Heat, but that doesn’t take away all he’s done for the organization. Bosh-asaurus Lives!

5. Tim Hardaway

Tim Hardaway did it all. He ran the court, hit big shots, and was part of some of the best Heat teams to never win a championship. The Killer Crossover is still the stuff of legends and between him and Alonzo Mourning, they were the best 1-2 Punch in the mid-to-late 90s. And those Heat-Knicks series’; nothing better.

4. Dan Majerle

My love affair with the mid-90s Heat continues with none other than Thunder Dan himself. Majerle was one of those players who hit big shots, but when he drove to the hoop for a dunk you would jump out of your skin because, I guess, it was surprising to see an unassuming white guy do it. In a time with emotional players like Mourning and Hardaway, Majerle was one of those players that kept their cool and just played the game. Listen to any call with Dr. Jack when Majerle would hit a three and you might have a religious experience. THUNDER!

3. Alonzo Mourning

It took two tenures with the Heat to win that title, but dammit he did it! During the 2006 title run, Zo was a huge reason, especially on the defensive end, why the Heat were able to come back and pry the championship away from the Dalla Mavericks. A lot of people might blame the refs, but guess what; F*ck Off. Anywho, Mourning was the major reason the Heat became a team to watch in the 90s, and he continues to be an ambassador for the team. Plus, he was “almost” able to “fight” Larry Johnson while Jeff van Gundy was hanging onto his ankle like your clingy ex-girlfriend who want’s their hair dyer back.

2. Udonis Haslem

The guy tattooed the state of Florida on his back. What else do you need to know about Haslem. Yeah, once he got rid of his cornrows his career kind of went downhill, but that doesn’t take away him coming from a long time of Heat enforcers like PJ Brown and Bruce Bowen. Plus, he’ll likely go down as the lone, true, “Heat Lifer.”

1. Dwyane Wade

There could really only be one. Wade will go down as the best player in Heat history, and one of the best players in NBA history. Yes, things ended very sour as he claimed to be a “Heat Lifer” yet left a team he helped build and win three titles with. You can blame Wade, you can blame the organization, you can even blame Lebron James for being the focus of a team that once was Wade’s. It turned ugly when Wade left, at least for me, since I felt a bit betrayed, but I’m sure that’s just one of the steps of grieving as seeing one of the best players leave your team after watching his entire career in the same uniform. Nevertheless, three titles, game-winning shots, epic moments. The good times, the bad times, seeing Wade play was a complete roller coaster of emotions. I’m also not one of those Wade “fans” over Heat “fans.” I’m Heat first, Wade second, even if that margin is razor thin. He was the Heat’s Michael Jordan, the Lakers’ Kobe Bryant, the Celtics’ Bill Russell, he was the Heat’s first franchise player, and that makes him Numbero Uno!

By Simplistic Reviews
In Alonzo Mourning, Basketball, Dr. Jack Ramsay, Dwyane Wade, Fans, Justin Bieber, Miami Heat, NBA, Tim Hardaway
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April 5, 2017

The Resurrection of Michael Keaton: Three Phases

Going through the news today, something caught my eye; Disney is remaking “Dumbo.” Yeah, the animated movie about a bullied elephant that wants to fly with the help of a feather and a talking mouse.

But the more interesting part is a bit of casting regarding the film’s villain that will possibly be played by Michael Keaton.

In case you haven’t noticed the past couple of years, Keaton has been a pretty busy guy, and has enjoyed a career resurgence much like Matt McConaughey did a few years ago. He’s starring as the villain in this year’s “Spider-Man: Homecoming” and including his Oscar nom for “Birdman,” Keaton has found his stride again after nearly a decade in the wilderness.

Let’s take a look at Three Phases of Keaton:

1982-1992
From “Night Shift” to “Batman Returns” you can’t poke a lot of holes in Keaton’s roles from the early 80s to the early 90s. His partnership with Tim Burton made him one of the most successful actors at that time, but with the relative failure of “Returns” and the films to follow, there were dark times ahead.

Highlight: Beetlejuice
Lowlight: The Dream Team
People Forget About: Gung-Ho

1993-2009
These, to me, are the wilderness years for Keaton. Outside a few quality performances like “Jackie Brown” and “Live From Baghdad” there was a lot to be desired.

Highlight: Jackie Brown
Lowlight: First Daughter
People Forget About: Multiplicity

2010-2017
Starting with “Toy Story 3” the writing was on the wall that Keaton was back in the game. Sure you had “Robocop” and “Need for Speed” but he rose like Jesus in flicks like “Spotlight,” “Birdman,” and a possible “Beetlejuice” sequel and other things on the horizon, it’s a good time to be a Michael Keaton fan.

Highlight: Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance)
Lowlight: Need For Speed
People Forget About: The Other Guys

By Simplistic Reviews
In Beetlejuice, Dumbo, Matthew McConaughey, Michael Keaton, Spider-Man: Homecoming
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April 3, 2017

(Ep. 84) SR Podcast – April 2017

FOR MATURE AUDIENCES

April Fools…this isn’t really a podcast post……. so here’s a picture of a Ryan Gosling eating cereal.

…..just kidding….maybe…but i mean just look at that sexy guy eating that cereal.

This month we make our grand return with all sorts of goodies. The fellas belly up to the bar to talk the news and their life failures in “What’s On Tap.”

We’re also in the fighting mood this month and the only way to settle that is another round of “Simplistic Fisticuffs.”

All this, mail order bride talk, trying to remember what the Street Sharks ever did for us, cross-dressing, and all shorts of April shenanigans on The Simplistic Reviews Podcast.