1987

May 9, 2018

(Ep. 103): House 2: The Second Story – Movie Commentary: May 2018

House II: The Second Story

PG-13 1987 ‧ Adventure/Horror ‧ 1h 28m
A man (Arye Gross) and his friend (Jonathan Stark) exhume an ancestor (Royal Dano) in the house 
where his parents were killed.
Initial release: August 28, 1987
Director: Ethan Wiley
Budget: 3 million USD
Production company: New World Pictures
 
Well you can’t say we don’t love you. Today Matt and Justin watch a movie from the Lister requested submissions. Sometimes we find fun and enjoyable films, that ether we never watched or never heard of. But that isn’t always the case. Ep. 103 we cross off another one, House 2: The Second Story. A film not watched by the two in a collective 30 plus years. What we found out is its not as good as we once remembered.

House 2 is under the horror genre which is a lie. Eventhough it is a sequel to the 1986 film House, House 2 does not involve the storyline and character from the first film, including the horror feel. House 2 is supernatural fantasy “comedy”. 

Frankly its a mess of a film. If you haven’t already watched the first House then skip this and check House.


February 6, 2018

(Ep. 99): Killer Workout – Movie Commentary: February 2018

Killer Workout
1987 ‧ 1h 25m
Killer Workout, also known under the original title Aerobicide, is a 1986 American slasher film written and directed by David A. Prior. It stars Marcia Karr, David James Campbell, Fritz Matthews, Ted Prior, and Teresa Van der Woude. Wikipedia
Initial release: 1987
Director: David A. Prior
Screenplay: David A. Prior
Music composed by: Todd Hayen

Its here! You or someone requested it (Request a Movie)
Killer Workout

 

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April 20, 2017

(Ep. 85): Deadly Prey – Movie Commentary: April 2017

Deadly Prey

1987Drama/Action 1h 28m
 
 In Vietnam, he was the best… He still is! 

You’ve requested it, We watched it!

Deadly Prey is a fun film no doubt about that, might not be great film but boy is this a stupid fun time of a watch. So put on those short shorts, grab a duby and lets do some killing!
 Colonel Hogan is a ruthless former military officer who trains a large group of former U.S. Servicemen as mercenaries by having them hunt down and kill people they abduct off the streets of Los Angeles. Hogan’s greedy financier Michaelson threatens Hogan to speed up the men’s training or he will pull the plug on Hogan’s training camp. However, Hogan and his men meet their match when their latest kidnap victim turns out to be a tough gung-ho marine named Mike Danton who despite being unarmed and hunted, he manages to decimate Hogan’s men in detail. Frustrated Hogan, his tough right-hand man Thornton and personal assistant Sybil kidnap Danton’s wife Jaimy to force him in the open, while Jaimy’s retired police detective father tries to track down her and Danton who finds an unlikely ally in the form of a former marine buddy named Cooper who wants to help him take on all of Hogan’s men. (IMDB

Simply Drinking: Take a drink of your favorite alcoholic beverage every time someone sneaks up on another person.

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December 25, 2016

(Ep. 80): Silent Night, Deadly Night: Part 2 – Movie Commentary: December 2016

Merry Christmas! From Simplistic Reviews

Silent Night, Deadly Night: Part 2

1987R‧ Drama/Slasher1h 28min

Trailer 
 

The sequel picks up on Christmas Eve some years after the first movie, with Ricky Caldwell, the 18-year-old brother of the first film’s killer, now being held in a mental hospital, awaiting trial for a series of murders that he committed. While being interviewed by the psychiatrist Dr. Henry Bloom, Ricky tells the story of the murders his brother Billy committed throughout a series of several flashbacks using footage from the original film. These flashbacks have new shots to make Ricky appear in more of Billy’s original story.

To say Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2 is a good movie is an understatement. Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2 is the greatest movie ever! Come on this is a fun movie to watch. You really have to give it to the team for making a 1hr 30min movie off a 30 page script. Yes I’m somewhat joking, but let’s be honest this movie is freaking fun to watch. Every year people watch A Christmas Story or Christmas Vacation for Christmas but I watch Silent Night, Deadly Night 1 and 2. A Christmas Slasher is always a good time.

So this Christmas grab that eggnog and a bowl of that chocolate covered popcorn. Sit down next to that warm fire and lets watch Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2!

April 7, 2016

SR Podcast (Ep.67) Police Academy 4 – Movie Commentary: April 2016

Ready for another Police Academy Movie Commentary?

Nether are we…

But hey this is the last movie in the series and without a doubt better then that last one. 

So for that last time (Thank God)
Grab that popcorn, get ready for dick jokes and enjoy the fact that there is no more Comdt. Mauser
Ladies and Gentlemen this is…

Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol

1987 | 1hr 28min | Comedy

We are finally done! Every Single Police Academy Film has been commented on by the gang at Simplistic Reviews.

Every Single One…

October 4, 2015

The Horror Time Capsule – 1987: Near Dark

DECENT

Near Dark – Decent

It was only a matter of time before I’d sneak a vampire review in here, and I tried to think of one of the most obscure ones I could. This brings me to “Near Dark” and if you pay close enough attention, or use your imagination you might think this is a vampire sequel to “Aliens”

Out tale begins with Caleb, a cowboy on the prowl for a lady love; he finds one in Mae, a mysterious girl who needs to be home before dawn. Caleb bites off more than he can chew after he asks for a kiss and soon finds himself turning into a vampire. He is kidnapped by Mae’s “family” which includes Severen (Bill Paxton) and Jesse (Lance Hendrickson). Jesse tasks Caleb with making his first kill within two days or the family will kill him.

Meanwhile, Caleb’s father, Loy, along with his sister are on the hunt to find him and find him they do, while they narrowly escape from the family with Caleb in tow. At the end of the day Caleb figures out a way to stop the vampires and lives happily ever after.

There are a lot of interesting things about this film. First is the cast, which is pretty much half the cast of James Cameron’s “Aliens.”The other tie-in is the director, Katheryn Bigelow, who was married to Cameron at the time. I almost feel like as soon as “Aliens” wrapped Paxton and Hendrickson walked over to a set right across the street and started filming this.

Speaking of Paxton, he steals the show as Severen, the most loony of this vampire family. His antics in the bar scene make the film and show his comedic timing as well as his acting mania. People might give him crap for his overacting in “Aliens” but his overacting in “Near Dark” is exactly what is needed in this film.

Overall, “Near Dark” is a fun film and you can see the tidbits that shows like “True Blood” stole from this offbeat look on our favorite onscreen bloodsuckers.

Here are some other awesome flicks from 1987:

Bad Taste
Creepshow 2
Dolls
Evil Dead 2
Hellraiser
Nightmare of Elm Street 3
Opera

September 28, 2015

SR Podcast (Ep. 55): Hard Ticket To Hawaii – Movie Commentary: September 2015

FOR MATURE AUDIENCES


Today’s Sunday Movie is…

Hard Ticket to Hawaii

96mins / Action / 1987

There are films that come and go. Great films that missed the limelight and never get the recognition they deserve.

Then there is Hard Ticket To Hawaii, a film that’s not amazing but we are glad it was made. It’s a crazy film that feels like they honestly just run and gun it. And even though this film isn’t perfect, it is one fun film to watch.

Check out Slaughter Film’s Review

Action Movie Time Machine – Hard Ticket to Hawaii

It’s a film jam packed full of Bullets, Boobs and Explosions! 

What more can you ask for?





 Show Notes

Watch the film with us

Read the Slaughter Film Review

Music Notes

Theme Song

May 8, 2015

Slaughter Film Presents: Action Movie Time Machine – The Running Man


SUBVERSIVELY ENTERTAINING
This “Action Movie Time Machine” trek will continue with the totally awesome theme of Arnold. So strap ourselves in, light up your cigars and hold onto your butts!
The year is 1987. For Broadcasting made it’s debut, the Atari 7800 Game System hit store shelves, and the band Aerosmith got a badly needed boost in popularity with the re-release of their song Walk This Way featuring Run D.M.C.. The world mourned the loss of Clara Peller – the woman who couldn’t help but ask, Where’s the beef?”,and Arnold travels to the future to star on reality television in, “Running Man”.
THE SKINNY
“Running Man” is set in the not too distant dystopian future of 2017 Los Angeles. In this future the economy has collapsed, unemployment has skyrocketed and what’s left of the government is frantically trying to maintain order among the civilian population who live in a police state.
Here we meet Ben Richards, Arnold Schwarzenegger, who is a keeper of the peace. At least, that’s what he thought his job was. When dispatched to quell an angry group of food protesters, he received orders to kill them on sight. Richards refused, and as a result his para-military peers killed the protesters and Richards was framed for their murder. This is the future he lives in.

Later Richards manages to escape his work camp prison with help from William Laughlin, Yaphet Kotto, and Harold Weisse, Marvin McIntyre. The three escapees meet up with the “underground resistance” — because when you live in a dystopian future there is always an underground resistance. The resistance helps them each escape the city.
Meanwhile, Damon Killian, Richard Dawson, host of the top rates television game show “Running Man”, is made aware of Richards’ escape. Familiar with his alleged murderous tendencies, Killian wants Richards, and his prison friends, captured to be used as a contestant on his show.
So, what exactly is “Running Man”? This show selects convicted criminals to participate in a gladiatorial adventure in which they must survive in a “Hunger Games” like arena with trained killers who are stalking them. If the contestants survive, their criminal record is erased and they go free. If they are caught by the “Stalkers”, they die. All of which is being broadcast live for the entertainment of the home viewers.
The television executives work hand in hand with the Entertainment Division of the Justice Department. The show entertains the masses while making examples of the lawless – encouraging them all to fall in line with the demands of the ever powerful and ruthless government. To avoid protests and civil unrest, there is “Running Man”. This is a shared idea between this film and the 1975 “Roller Ball”.

Now we have Richards, with Laughlin and Weisse, traversing the city in their skin tight runner get-ups doing their best to survive. While Richards and Laughlin fight off Stalker attacks, Weisse sets out to learn the up-link codes to the television network’s satellites. With the right codes, the resistance can override the network signal and communicate with the “Running Man” audience. With these codes they broadcast the truth about Richards and how he wasn’t responsible for the deaths of 1,500 protesters and also how the Killian is a puppeteer – controlling and manipulating information to in turn, control and manipulate his audience.
But first, Richards murders the Stalkers and wins over the viewing public as he does it. The rest of the film is good, but this is why we watch it. First there is Sub Zero, played by former professional wrestler Professor Toru Tanaka. Sub Zero is a hockey player from hell who wields a bladed hockey stick. As they fight, Richards manages to use his surroundings to his advantage and strangles Sub Zero to death with barbwire. Followed by the one-liner, “Here is Sub Zero… Now…plain zero!”.

Then we have Buzzsaw & Dynamo. Buzzsaw, Gus Rethwisch, is a motorcycle riding, chainsaw swinging madman who as a child wanted to grow up and become Leather Face. Richards makes quick work of him as he overpowers Buzzsaw, turning his beloved chainsaw against his crotch – sawing him in half. Later he is asked, “What happened to Buzzsaw?”. To which he replies, “He had to split.”. One-liner gold!
Dynamo is an odd duck. He is an overweight opera singer who shoots ’80s rotoscope lightning from his hands. Richards traps Dynamo when he tricks him into following him up a hill that is too steep and Dynamo’s Go-Kart topples backwards, landing on him.
Finally, there is Fireball, Jim Brown – a Stalker with a flamethrower and a jet pack. The two get into the ol’ fist-a-cuffs and Richards manages to sever Fireball’s fuel line – leaking it everywhere. Richard’s finishes him off using a flare to light him on fire while asking, “How ’bout a light?”.
Richards meets up with the underground resistance, who have been watching his progress on television. They use the codes to broadcast the truth and Richards leads them into battle with the network security and government agents.

In the end Richards gets even with Killian when he gives the people what eh thinks they want, by launching Killian into a billboard with his own face on it – blowing him up. And in the background chaos erupts as the underground resistance goes aboveground. The End.
THE VERDICT
Here we have another quintessential ’80s action flick, starring Arnold. It has everything you would want. Exotic deaths, a dystopian future and one-liners galore. It also has a really good, while understated, themethat reoccurs thought the film and one of the retired Stalkers is Captain Freedom, played by Jesse Ventura. Yep, “Running Man” has not one, but two Governors.
It’s right around this time when Arnold started to come into his own. His English was getting good and the films he starred in were getting better too.
“Running Man” is similar to another one of Arnold’s films, “Total Recall”, in the way that the action is entertaining, but the sci-fi story is what makes it memorable. And like “Total Recall” it draws parallels between it’s story and real life. “Running Man” predicted reality television, including shows like “The Real World”, “Survivor”, and especially “Fear Factor”.
But what’s really interesting about the film is the way Killian manipulates the facts to sell his viewers  his brand of truth. It gets it’s viewers to ask themselves, can we truth the news we are fed and the authority that feeds it? This is more important now in the post September 11th/War on Terror era than when it was filmed. But this idea, ”Can we trust the news?”, is a question that can be asked at least once every generation.
The inspiration for the “Running Man” came from the Richard Bachman book of the same title. Bachman was a pen name used by Stephen King for a while. It’s funny to think that he man who wrote “Carrie” and “Stand By Me” is also in some way responsible for this ’80s Arnold action flick.

In conclusion, if you haven’t seen “Running Man”, you are a fool. It’s a classic. For more action packed “Running Man” goodness, check out the Slaughter Film podcast focused on “Futuristic Gladiator” films. We discussed both “Running Man” and “Roller Ball” starring James Caan.
I’m Cory Carr and this concludes another trip in the “Action Movie Time Machine”. Until next time, “I’LL BE BACK!”.
For more from Cory, check out his website slaughterfilm.com, where he and his good friend Forest Taylor record weekly podcasts, reviewing the films that are legendary, even in Hell!

February 25, 2015

Slaughter Film Presents: Action Movie Time Machine – Hard Ticket to Hawaii

BONKERS

Welcome back for another ride on the “Action Movie Time Machine”. This time we will be visiting another Andy Sidaris film. If you are easily offended by bodacious breasts and explosions, oh boy, this movie isn’t for you. And with that said, I have our destination programmed. All aboard!
The year is 1987. The hippie beatnik community mourns the loss of artist Andy Warhol. Bill Cosby wins back his ex-wife and save the cute little animals in “Leonard Part 6”. U2 hadn’t found what they were looking for and Andy Sidaris continued his boob-a-licious action epic with “Hard Ticket to Hawaii”, complete with it’s own theme song. ‘Cause that’s what all the greatest action flicks have — theme songs.
THE SKINNY
Hard Ticket to Hawaii” picks up right where “Malibu Express” leaves off. Or does it? What should be Cody Abaline and Contessa Lucianna meeting up in Hawaii for a sexy rendezvous, is instead Rowdy Abaline and Donna making love aboard the boat “Malibu Express”. For some reason the boat is the only thing that managed to live on in this spiritual sequel. It’s explained later that Cody is Rowdy’s cousin who has gone on to become an actor. Well, that explains that.
Donna, Dona Speir, is a Federal Agent living and working in Molokai Hawaii with her roommate and co-worker Taryn, Hope Marie Carlton, who is living in Hawaii as part of the witness protection program. In Las Vegas she witnessed some pretty heavy mob activity and now she is being protected by the government after testifying against mobsters. I’m sure this goes without saying, but both Donna and Taryn are played by former Playboy Playmates.
Though Donna is a Federal Agent, she and Taryn work as couriers. They fly packages and people in a single prop plane between the Hawaiian islands. During one of these trips, the girls are to deliver a touring couple to the remote end of the island so they can do it out in the open and not be disturbed. While doing so, a  crate containing a python that has been contaminated by cancer ridden rats is mistakenly lost and the killer python escapes onto the island. This isn’t important now, but we’ll see it again later.
Before the girls return home for the day, they interrupt a drug deal…or a diamond smuggling ring. I’m not sure which. A remote controlled helicopter is flown from Mr. Chang’s boat off the coast that is sent in to deliver diamonds to a group growing marijuana in the wilderness of the island, lead by Mr. Romero.
Just as the girls discover the diamonds, they are discovered by Romero’s hired muscle. With the use of nun-chucks and ninja stars the women manage to make it back to their plane and back to home. Here they relax topless in their jacuzzi while they figuring out what should be done with the diamonds.
Later that night, Donna and Taryn are attacked by more of Romero’s men. I guess it isn’t easy to make a clean get away with the name of the company you work for painted on the side of the airplane you’re escaping in. The girls manage to scare the goons off, but now they know they will need Rowdy’s help to save themselves and bring the criminals to justice.

As Rowdy and his partner Jade make their way to meet Donna, they are attacked by Romero’s men. This scene is fuckin’ bonkers! A man who goes by the name “Skater” rides his skateboard passed Rowdy’s jeep, concealing a shotgun behind a blow-up doll. Skater takes his shot, wounding Jade and Rowdy retaliates by firing a rocket at both Skater and then the blow-up doll, exploding them in mid-air. It is truly the work of a b-movie master.
Meanwhile, Edy, a local hotel and restaurant owner, is kidnapped by Romero’s men. They know that Edy has been helping the girls stay in touch with Rowdy and their Federal contacts. This isn’t so important to the story. It just adds urgency to the film.
Donna, Taryn, Rowdy & Jade develop a plan to rescue Edy, which they do, and in the process they blow away all of Romero’s hired goons. Now only he remains, and if he is going to save face with his employer/business partner, Mr. Chan, he will have to take care of Donna & Taryn himself.
While the gang is away, Romero infiltrates Donna’s home and catches her off guard. First he attacks her with a knife and she retaliates with a harpoon gun she stores in a closet. After composing himself he attacks again, but this time she disarms him and stabs him in the gut with his own knife. THEN, he attacks once more, but this attack is timed perfectly with the return of the cancer rat infected python that erupts out of the bathroom toilet. LOL! It bites Romero in the face and kills him FINALLY!
The infectious snake them makes a play for Donna and Rowdy returns in the nick of time to save his love by firing a rocket into it’s face — followed by the line; “Just when you thought it was safe to take a pee.”. LOL!
Rowdy & Donna then pay Mr. Chang a visit. How do they know who he is or how he’s involved? I have no idea. Donna draws her “hand cannon” on Mr. Chan and blows his ass out of a window.
And like the first film, this ends with all the remaining players involved aboard the Malibu Express celebrating a job well done.
THE VERDICT
Well Andy Sidaris has done it again. He took a simple premise and managed to jam as much crazy shit into it as humanly possible.
Much like the previous film, “Malibu Express”, this has mediocre acting and a convoluted story that left me asking myself a lot of questions when I say it for the first time. Having seen Hard Ticket a number of times, I now have a strong understanding of the story, but at one time there were A LOT of whos, whats & whys rolling around in my head. The reason for this is that there is so much back story for each character, which is so casually introduced, that much of it is easy to miss. Very little of which is actually important.
While the films of Sidaris often fall short of being great, I have to give him credit for putting so much effort into them. His films are independently produced and often straight to video. His use of flashy boats, high flying panes, fast cars, faster women and a healthy dose of explosions give his films the esthetic of having a higher budget than they actually had. Sidaris films are like any episode of “Magnum P. I.”, but with Tom Selleck replaced with a big breasted naked woman, plus three or four other wild elements like exploding snakes or exploding blow-up dolls for good measure.
These flashy things don’t make a his movies good, but they always seem to be filmed and produced with a certain level of skill and professionalism that adds a sense of quality to them, even if they have a jumbled story with plot twists that are beyond belief.
 
I believe this is why Andy Sidaris has such a loyal following of fans. His films aren’t masterpieces, but you will always know what you’re going to get and you’ll be entertained no matter what. Speaking of being entertained, “Hard Ticket to Hawaii” is only going to get a two bullet rating from me based on the technical stuff alone, but it gets ten bullet for shier fun!
Some last things to keep your eyes open for are movie posters from Andy’s previous films located in Donna & Taryn’s home. The informant who rats on Edy is the same cross-dressing man from “Malibu Express”, played by Michael A. Andrews. There is a manhole cover that is obviously just a painted trashcan lid. And finally, as Rowdy and the gang infiltrate the home of Romero to rescue Edy, He encounters one of Romero’s guards on the beach. He talks the guard into playing catch with a Frisbee only to replace the Frisbee with one that has razor blades imbedded in it. The blades cut off the guards fingers when he tries to catch it and then slices into his neck — killing him.
I’m Cory Carr and this concludes another trip on the “Action Movie Time Machine”. Until next time, Semper Fi Punk!
For more from Cory, check out his website slaughterfilm.com, where he and his good friend Forest Taylor record weekly podcasts, reviewing the films that are legendary, even in Hell!
February 21, 2015

SR Podcast (Ep. 39): Miami Connection – Movie Commentary: February 2015

Friday Night Movie Night!

Tagline: Survival the ultimate test…

The year is 1987. Motorcycle ninjas tighten their grip on Florida’s narcotics trade, viciously annihilating anyone who dares move in on their turf. Multi-national martial arts rock band Dragon Sound have had enough, and embark on a roundhouse wreck-wave of crime-crushing justice. When not chasing beach bunnies or performing their hit song “Against the Ninja,” Mark (taekwondo master/inspirational speaker Y.K. Kim) and the boys are kicking and chopping at the drug world’s smelliest underbelly. It’ll take every ounce of their blood and courage, but Dragon Sound can’t stop until they’ve completely destroyed the dealers, the drunk bikers, the kill-crazy ninjas, the middle-aged thugs, the “stupid cocaine”

…and the entire MIAMI CONNECTION!!!


Podcast Notes

Deleted Scene “Music Store”

Music

Dragon Sound “Friends”
Dragon Sound “Against The Ninja”

Miami Connection OST – Jon McCallum – Trainyard

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