1988

September 5, 2018

(Ep. 109): Killing American Style – Movie Commentary: September 2018

Killing American style
1990 ‧ Thriller/Action ‧ 1h 30m

Well it’s not Samurai Cop…

Welcome back to the Simplistic Reviews Movie Commentary! Today we pop in another Amir Shervan film, Killing American Style. It’s the 80’s and of course Amir will recycle from his masterpiece Samurai Cop; location, music and beefy men with long beautiful hair.  The terrible acting mix with cheesy fight scene is the best part along with its nonexistent script. Killing American Style is no Samurai Cop. It’s not as funny nor crazy but still a entertaining film except for one thing – rape.

The amount of creepiness is beyond anything we have seen before. There really isn’t a need for rape in a movie, especially when the story line doesn’t call for it. A simple walk into the room with the door closing gets it point across, what we get here is out of control and unnecessary. Killing American Style is a fun Sunday film to drink and laugh at, just look at that title. But when your looking for another Samurai Cop don’t look at Killing American Style, it’s in a league of its own.
                       

October 30, 2017

(Ep. 93): Killer Klowns from Outer Space – Movie Commentary: October 2017

Killer Klowns from Outer Space

PG-13  1988 ‧ Science fiction film/Cult film ‧ 1h 28m

When teenagers Mike (Grant Cramer) and Debbie (Suzanne Snyder) see a comet crash outside their sleepy small town, they investigate and discover a pack of murderous aliens who look very much like circus clowns. They try to warn the local authorities, but everyone assumes their story is a prank. Meanwhile, the clowns set about harvesting and eating as many people as they can. It’s not until they kidnap Debbie that Mike decides it’s up to him to stop the clowns’ bloody rampage.
Release date: May 20, 1988 (USA)

What could be better then watching some Killer Klowns this Halloween!? Well with the Simplistic Reviews crew! Join us as we watch a movie that was made to be wacky and goof, yet its still better then half the shit that comes out today! So grab that frankenberry! Pour some of that Halloween themed choice of beer because… this Movie Commentary is gonna scare your socks off!


October 5, 2015

The Horror Time Capsule – 1988: Sleepaway Camp II: Unhappy Campers

WASTE

Sleepaway Camp II: Unhappy Campers – Waste

I’ll give the first “Sleepaway Camp” credit….it had balls, in fact it had cock and balls. Spoiler alert, the killer was a guy all along. Of course, “Camp” wasn’t breaking new ground, check out “Dressed to Kill” if you want a real cross-dressing murder story. But the sequel to “Camp,” is just a cash in film that has some interesting scenes, but overall it’s cheap, silly, and overall just a waste.

“Sleepaway Camp II: Unhappy Campers” begins with a “necessary” exposition scene where campers around the fire explain the events in the first film where a girl named Angela killed nearly everyone at Camp Arawak. The twist; Angela was really a boy named Peter who’s family was killed. Twist…..

Under an assumed named, Anglea, fresh out of the asylum, is now a camp counselor at Camp Rolling Hills. Obsessed with manners, Angela begins to off all of the philandering counselors one at a time. We’ve heard this all before.

I hate to be a bastard to this film, but when something isn’t good, it isn’t very good, which is funny because I have memories of this film dating back to around 6th grade where I first heard the Rolling Hills Camp song (the dirty version of course). I think 6th grade Matt was just interested to her what camp counselors would do if you paid them money…..

Of course there are two more films in the “Sleepaway Camp” series, but if you know what is good for you, you shouldn’t go past this one. Sure, if you’re a slasher film buff, watch them, but be warned, it only goes down hill from here.

Here are the rest of the best from good old 1988:

The Blob
Child’s Play
Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers
Hellraiser 2
Maniac Cop
A Nightmare on Elm Street 4
Night of the Demons
Pumpkinhead

May 28, 2015

Slaughter Film Presents: Action Movie Time Machine – Red Heat

CULTURALLY DIVERSE

This “Action Movie Time Machine” review will conclude this here Arnold-a-thon that we’ve been enjoying so much lately. Enjoy!
The year is 1988. The Hubble Space Telescope is put into commission, the Stealth Bomber is unveiled and Nike says “Just do it”. Ping Pong becomes an Olympic sport and aside from playing the long lost brother of Danny DeVito in “Twins”, Arnold Schwarzenegger makes the long trek from Soviet Russia to Chicago to put an end to drug traffickers in “Red Heat”.
THE SKINNY
The film begins inside a Russian bathhouse as Captain Ivan Danko, Arnold Schwarzenegger, uses his fists to pound information out of a low lever thug. Danko and his partner have been investigating Viktor Rosta, a crime boss responsible for hundreds of deaths, rapes, thefts and in more recent months, he has been funneling cocaine into Russia.
This bathhouse scene is neat and all, but like ALL bathhouses, everyone is nude. Including Arnold, and even during the fisticuffs. I remember seeing this movie as a kid – at least this part anyhow – and I giggled like the little kid that I was.
Anyhow, this information leads to an attempt to capture Rosta which is unsuccessful and even leaves Danko’s partner dead. Rosta manages to escape the country, heading to Chicago to meet with his cocaine connections, a gang known as the “Clean Heads”. The Clean Heads are a black supremest  para-military criminal organization who’s goal it to be a thorn in the side of the “white man”. Selling cocaine to a Russian crime boss is in their best interests, as it will expose an entire country of white people to what could lead to debilitating addiction and other bad stuff.
 Danko receives orders to follow Rosta and apprehend him without the local police or government learning that he is even there. If his cover is blown, the snafu could result in a political black-eye for the Russian government. But for Danko, it’s personal. He is only interested in catching the man who killed his partner.

It isn’t long before his cover IS blown and the Chicago P.D. learn who he is and why he has come to the States. Detective Sargent Art Ridzik, Jim Belushi, and his partner are assigned to escort Danko around Chicago, and help him find and export Rosta back behind the Iron Curtain.
This doesn’t work out so well for Ridzik’s partner who is also killed in the line of duty – making it personal for Ridzik as well. On the up side, Danko learns that Rosta has stored his drug buying money inside a bus station locker and Danko has his key. At least, for a little while.
Now the Russian man of muscle and Chicago’s finest must team-up to prevent Rosta from following through with the drug buy. This isn’t so easy as the two men allow their differences to get between them, especially Ridzik. Remember, this film was released just months before the Berlin wall fell, so there are Soviet/American tensions between the characters. Most of these “tensions”turn out to be pretty entertaining and even shed light on some of our cultural and political differences.
In one of these such scenes, Ridzik and Danko interrogate a low level criminal to learn what they can about the Clean Head’s involvement with Rosta. Ridzik explains that even criminals have what are called “Miranda Rights”. Danko choses to speed up this interrogation by breaking the perp.’s hand to get him to talk. I guess they do things differently in Russia.
This Miranda scene is a set-up for another in which Danko is staking out the apartment of Cat, an American wife of Rosta who is played by a young Gina Gershon. As Danko sits in his car, a neighbor comes down to bitch that Danko is parked in his space. Danko asks the man; “Do you know Miranda?”, to which the man replies “No, I’ve never met the bitch.”. Danko follows that up with knock-out punch. It’s something that I didn’t expect, but I sure wont forget.
Moving on. Danko & Ridzik learn the location of the locker and the time when Rosta will show up to get the money. They try in intercept him, but what happens is Rosta steals a Greyhound bus and makes a hasty get-away. So, naturally, Danko & Ridzik steal their own bus and destroy half of Chicago chasing after him.
  Eventually they follow Rosta gets turned around, and he and Danko play chicken, nearly missing each other. Mortally wounded, Rosta is finished off by Danko when he unloads on him. Case closed.
The film ends with Danko & Ridzik exchanging pleasantries at the airport as Danko gets ready to leave the country and return to Mother Russia. The End.
THE VERDICT
“Red Heat” is better than I remembered. It’s a classic “odd couple” team-up in the same tradition as “48 Hours”. Schwarzenegger doesn’t say too much, playing into the cold and calculated Soviet ideal of what a police officer should be, but he manages to use this demeanor to set up and deliver some of the funniest gags in the film. Something, I don’t think, Arnold it known for. Intentionally anyhow.
The same can be said about Belushi. He is perfect as the jaded and wisecracking cop who knows how to grease the wheels in order to get his job done. But he also nails being a hard-ass.
The action is good, the story is simple and entertaining. There are several memorable supporting characters; Peter Boyle play the Zen seeking Commander of Ridzik, and a co-worker of Ridzik is played by Lawrence Fishburne during his younger Malcolm X days.
It’s a shame this film is so underrated. I think this may be – at least in part – the result of it’s original ad campaign. If you watch the trailer you’ll see clips of Belushi joking and Schwarzenegger delivering cold broken English. What’s unfortunate about this is that Belushi isn’t just comedic relief, and some of what Arnold says are punchlines or set up to jokes taken out on context, but you’d never know it from the trailer.
“Red Heat” it totally worth checking out if you haven’t seen it before. As a standard detective flick, it isn’t as over the top as some of Schwarzenegger ’80s films, which might make it less memorable. But never the less, check it out if you get a chance.
One final fun fact about “Red Heat”. The opening scenes that depict…Red Square, or where ever it’s supposed to be, were actually filmed in Russia illegally. The footage had to be snuck out of the country. Seems like a lot of work for footage that isn’t very important, but it makes for an interesting story.
I’m Cory Carr and this concludes another trip in the “Action Movie Time Machine”. Until next time, Semper Fi, Punk!
For more from Cory, check out his website slaughterfilm.com, where he and his good friend Forest Taylor record weekly podcasts, reviewing the films that are legendary, even in Hell!

January 5, 2015

Slaughter Film Presents: Action Movie Time Machine – Hero and the Terror

MISFIRE

An odd thing happened recently as I was milling through my movie database. I noticed a strange similarity. During the ’80s, there were a handful of action flicks that didn’t just have a villain bent on revenge or world domination. These villains were all formed out of horror chiches. So, all aboard the “Action Movie Time Machine” as we travel to the ’80s to find slashers and murderous cults in the genre of action.
The year is 1988. Michael Jackson wasn’t yet the butt of a joke and instead was in his own anthology film “Moonwalker”. A group of teenagers were “Saved By the Bell”, and Stephen Hawking becomes a bestselling author with his book “A Brief History of Time”.
THE SKINNY
Hero and the Terror” is about detective Danny O’Brien, Chuck Norris, who has become a bit of a celebrity since he captured Simon Moon – a man who has committed a series of vicious murders in which he stalks women, snaps their necks and keeps them as rag doll trophies. It’s explained in passing conversation that Moon was abused as a child and has grown up deranged. No, this isn’t a Slaughter Film review, even though we’re in horror movie territory.

O’Brien has since been given the nickname “Hero” by the local media. A name that he laments. O’Brien is the type of guy who’s too modest to accept the praise and would rather avoid it all in place of some hard detective work.
Things aren’t all rainbows and lollipops for O’Brien. Since he apprehended Moon, he has been terrorized by reoccurring nightmares of Moon on his killing spree. He reaches out to a psychologist to help interpret and overcome his dreams, who he later develops a relationship with and even knocks up. Between his night terrors and his pregnant girlfriend, Kay, we get to see a just how complicated and caring O’Brien is… But I just wanna see Chuck Norris deliver some justice to the skulls of mindless thugs in the form of a roundhouse kick. Am I right?
O’Brien’s nightmares become reality when Moon escapes from his prison cell and disappears into the rural wilderness. Actually, he steals a van, rams it through the facilities guard gate, then off a cliff and into the ocean. LOL He escaped only to, seemingly, kill himself in a car accident. Oh, but Moon lives to kill more women.
Once the bodies of young women start turning up in Los Angeles, the media explodes with theories that Moon has returned. The Mayor, played by Ron O’Neil – aka “Superfly” himself, calls in the chief of police and O’Brien to take a look at the evidence and re-assure the public that these recent killings are not the work of Moon. Of course O’Brien can’t do that.
Things spice up when one young woman turns up missing and another is found dead outside the town’s recently renovated historic theater.
O’Brien orders a search of the theater – from top to bottom – suspecting that Moon, injured and weak from his car ride over the cliff, made his way to the vacated theater. The search reveals nothing, but O’Brien takes it upon himself to investigate further. In the attic above the theater, O’Brien discovers a series of catacombs. This doesn’t make much sense to me. These catacombs look more like sewer tunnels. Why would these be above a theater? I don’t know, I’m just along for the ride.
O’Brien follows the tunnels for a while before he finds Moon’s roost. A room willed with candles and several more dead women that Moon was saving as his trophies. Moon appears from the shadows and a firght breaks out that leads through the attic of the theater and onto the roof.
O’Brien delivers some sweet kung-fu justice before he manages to get behind Moon to choke him out. In classic slasher movie tradition the killer comes back to life for one last scare. O’Brien throws Moon through the theaters skylight, and he falls to his death.
The film ends with O’Brien visiting his girlfriend in the hospital — she just gave birth to their child. He hobbles through the hospital halls, broken and beaten by Moon, as he grabs a priest to wed the them there in the hospital. The End.
I guess O’Brien didn’t need a shrink to cure him of his nightmares. Just a healthy dose of murder.
THE VERDICT
“Hero and the Terror” has potential, but it lacks in story telling. The direction and/or editing leave something to be desired. The plot and characters are just fine, but my god, everything this film has in it’s favor is completely avoided. As if it were on purpose.
My first problem is with the killer who isn’t developed enough to be a true “terror”. Even though Moon follows in the footsteps of other silent killers like Jason, “Friday the 13th, and Michael Myers, “Halloween”, there isn’t enough suspense to make him, or his actions terrifying. The fact that Moon never speaks is a bit of a missed opportunity to expand the idea that he’s deranged. We should get a glimpse into the mind of the man behind all the killings. Unfortunately, Moon exists only for O’Brien to have something to do.
O’Brien’s girlfriend, Kay, being pregnant and having second thoughts about her life isn’t important and too much time is spent on it. The pregnancy is a just a way to show that there is more to O’Brien than the other, more action packed characters portrayed by Norris. The problem with this is that people don’t watch Chuck Norris flicks to watch him share his emotions.
Speaking of emotions, Norris isn’t the best actor, but by no means is he a BAD actor. However, in this movie, he seems stiff and uninteresting. Again, I point my finger at the director. As if no one explained to the actors how they should act, and many of them deliver their lines devoid of emotions.
 It’s a shame Chuck Norris wasn’t in more better movies. Some aren’t bad, but largely they go unnoticed or forgotten. But not anymore! Lets see what other Chuck Norris flicks I can uncover with the “Action Movie Time Machine”.
I’m Cory Carr and this concludes another trip on the “Action Movie Time Machine”. Until next time, Semper Fi Punk!
For more from Cory, check out his website slaughterfilm.com, where he and his good friend Forest Taylor record weekly podcasts, reviewing the films that are legendary, even in Hell!
October 3, 2013

Here Comes Halloween: Phantasm II

Phantasm II – Look-a-like

LOOK-A-LIKE

Naturally it would make sense to review the first “Phantasm” before I get to it’s sequel, but there is a logical explanation; I simply enjoy “Phantasm II” better than it’s predecessor.  An odd way to begin a review, I’m sure, but I just wanted to get the semantics out of the way before I get into this review.  Welcome back to October, and an entire month of scares, frights, masks, blood, gore, inferior sequels, and more blood.

Phantasm II” is the 1988 sequel to the 1979 cult classic, “Phantasm,” written and directed by Don Coscarelli.  If you’re unfamiliar with “Phantasm” here is a quick refresher; A kid named Mike begins experiencing strange happenings around his town, with a sinister figure called The Tall Man behind said happenings.  As things begin to reveal themselves Mike finds himself stalked by The Tall Man in nightmarish visions involving corpses, metal flying balls with a taste for blood and a body full of embalming fluid and dwarves created from the reanimated corpses of the town’s dead.  Throw in a Bruce Campbell look-a-like named Reggie, and you got yourself “Phantasm.”

The sequel picks up right where the original leaves off, so for the purposes of this review, and if you don’t want to be spoiled, even though these would be 34, and 23 year old spoilers, respectively, tread lightly.  Mike is about to be taken away by The Tall Man but is rescued by Reggie.  We skip ahead roughly 10 years to an adult Mike who is being released from the local mental hospital.  After tragedy besets Reggie, the two spring into action to track down The Tall Man and end his reign of terror, forever.  Joined by a young girl, named Liz, with a psychic link to Mike, the trio head out to, once again, stop The Tall Man’s devious plans, including the creation of more zombie dwarves and to rescue Liz’s grandmother.

What I love about “Phantasm II” is the excess.  You can see clearly that the sequel takes a lot of it’s cues from another famous cult classic sequel; “Evil Dead II: Dead By Dawn.”  While the original “Phantasm” relied on real scares and it’s tone to convey a feeling of dread, just like “The Evil Dead,” it’s sequel relies on banter between Mike and Reggie and a lighter tone, which includes a chainsaw fight and the creation of a quadruple shotgun, smells like “Evil Dead II.”  Consider the time frame between all the films as well.  “Phantasm” was released two years before “Evil Dead” and you can see some similarities in the tone, but that was also the sign of the times in the late 1970s and 80s.  Fast-forward to 1987, when “Evil Dead II” is released with a more comedic tone, and a year later “Phantasm II” is released with a lighter tone as well.  I’m not saying that “Phantasm” and “Evil Dead” share much with one another, but in comparing the two, you can see where there are similarities and the fact that each franchise borrowed a little from one another.

Now back to the “Phantasm II.”  I’m sure purists who love “Phantasm” will kill me for saying the sequel is superior, and I’m not actually saying that, I’m just saying that “Phantasm II” is more accessible for non-fans than the original.  Just as he was in the first film, Angus Scrimm literally stands out, again, as The Tall Man, the series’ main antagonist.  While The Tall Man never received the fanfare of Jason, Freddy, or Michael Myers, there was still something very creepy about an old supernatural man who steals corpses to create evil dwarves.  I liken The Tall Man to Henry Kane from the “Poltergeist” series as they both share a similar, skeletal look.

Like most sequels in the late 1980s, there is an extreme case of style-over-substance in “Phantasm II” with more special effects, spotty acting, and plot holes big enough to throw a million of those killer metal balls into.  However, the cheese doesn’t take away from the fun.  There are some excellent creature effects, done by a than relatively unknown Greg Nicotero and Robert Kurtzman, now of “The Walking Dead” fame.  And of course, it’s no surprise that Nicotero also did effects on “Evil Dead II.”  The comparisons continue!

While not exceptional, “Phantasm II” is a fun little sequel that lives in the zeitgeist of horror during the late-1980s.  It’s over indulgent, silly, campy, and not as good as it’s original.  But, it gives horror and gore fans what they wanted; MORE!

Fun Fact:  For even more The Evil Dead/Phantasm fun, take a look at one of the bags an undertaker is filling up and you might catch the name on the name.  That name being Sam Raimi.  Meta!!!!

August 12, 2012

Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad!

Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad!: Hysterical

Is the first film in a comedy classic trilogy…
Like The Godfather Trilogy, Back to the Future and The Man with No Name Trilogy, The Naked Gun Trilogy

stands with that group as one of the greatest trilogies of all-time!
“It’s fourth and fifteen and you’re looking at a full-court press” In 1982 the television comedy series, Police Squad! premiered. It was the beginning of one of the greatest comedy franchises ever created. Sadly it only lasted six episodes, but it spawned the great Naked Gun trilogy.
“I’ve finally found someone I can love – a good, clean love… without utensils.” 

Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad! (Trailer)

is about a cop named Frank Drebin who comes back after his best friend and partner, played by O.J. Simpson is shot 6 times (missing ever vital organ) is now in a coma. Once he begins to investigate the shooting he stumbles on a plot to assassinate Queen Elizabeth II by Vincent Ludwig, played by Ricardo Motalban. This film is one of the GREATEST COMEDIES of all time! Airplane is up on the list as well but like Airplane, Leslie Nielsen is the highlight of the film and in Naked Gun we get more of that. Leslie Nielsen is a comedy Legend and Naked Gun is the film that did it for me. Never has a film come as close.
“Yes. Well, when I see 5 weirdos dressed in togas stabbing a guy in the middle of the park in full view of 100 people, I shoot the bastards. That’s *my* policy.” When you watch this film you will laugh and laugh! The whole time you watch this film you will have a smile on your face. It’s that good! In fact this form of comedy has been copied so many times I.E. the stupid Meet the Spartans, Epic Movie and Disaster Movie (can’t believe I had to write those titles on this site, but I’m making a point) and they all failed at it. This franchise is one of a kind and yet it stands up today! It’s still one of the best comedies of all time!
“Yes, he’s in the intensive care ward at Our Lady of the Worthless Miracle.”

I have so many favorite scenes in this film, but if I had to pick just one (which is tough)…

I’d pick the Press Conference Scene it gets me everytime!

What’s your favorite scene in the Naked Gun?

Stay tuned for tomorrow as we look at
The Naked Gun 2½: The Smell of Fear
August 8, 2012

Killer Klowns From Outer Space

 Killer Klowns From Outer Space – Memories

I remember as a kid waking up early one morning before anyone in the house and taking advantage of the one TV that we had with HBO.  I turn the TV and one movie was just ending and the credits were just closing out.  I decided to wait and see what was coming up next and the next thing I hear is some faint circus music with what it seemed people laughing.  Next thing I know the credits flash on the screen, the guitars kick in and I see ‘Killer Klowns From Outer Space.”  With that, what I thought of b-movies would never be the same.

Most people have fears of clowns, personally I don’t get it, but yes, its real.  In “Killer Klowns” the plot is simple, and creepily effective.  A group of jolly klowns have come from some undisclosed planet to bring the citizens of Crescent Cove the chuckles, and promptly kill them in some quite humorous ways, ranging from killer popcorn to corrosive pies.

A lot of b-movies hold special places in my heart from “The Toxic Avenger” (which I will cover in another review) to “Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-o-Rama” (which I will cover in yet another review down the road).  I remember watching many of these fine films on either “Monstervision” with Joe Bob Briggs, “USA’s ‘Up All Night‘” with either Gilbert Gottfried or Rhonda Shear, and to a lesser degree, “Night Flight.”  Whenever I think about “Klowns” it takes me back to a simpler time when I wasn’t so worried about what I might be getting out of a movie, and instead just enjoying myself.

Fun Fact:  Coulrophobia is the fear of clowns with the prefix, -coulro, meaning “stilt walker” derived from Ancient Greek.

August 7, 2012

They Live

They Live: Brilliant

There will and always be a personal favorite list that any movie viewer has. A list that if you ever crashed landed on a desert island, which films who you like to have?

Today I share one of mine, They Live.

They Live is a fav of mine that always gets played over and over. I found this film years ago on TV one night. Back when VHS recorders where the shit. The station played a trailer for the film before they played it and it caught my eye. I jumped over to the remote and pressed record! I still own that copy, even though it is worn out it still gives it a special feeling effect DVD’s and Blu-rays can’t give you.

This film might not be a classic to everyone. It really only appels to a small group of people, in fact I find it hard to find people I know that have seen it. But to me this film is a classic. It gives you 93 minutes of pure joy.

I love this film! I even drove down just to see Roddy Piper when a Horror convention came to town. It was him at a desk next to Robert Englund and a few others. No one was at Piper’s desk, so I went up to him. Now I’ve met a few high profile people in my time but Roddy Piper was the best! Nicest guy I ever met (well expect for this guy). He was so happy, we talked and talked. He gave me a  autograph, They Live sunglasses with a piece of gum (if you watch this film you will know why) and asked me,  thats right ASKED ME to take a photo with him! One of the best moments of my life, thank you Roddy for that and the film. I just hope I get to met him again, possibly get to work with him on a film?…man that would be awesome!

I adore this film. Even more then the first time I saw it. When I first saw it the next day I called all my friends up to come over and watch it. It’s fun, different, a ton of action, thought provoking and entertaining. I recently watched a new high def transfer (which looks amazing and comes out this November on bluray). When I watched it the other day, I found it to touch on the world we now live in. It’s odd how close we are to this film now, with the whole obey thing. Sure it’s a bit goofy but a cult classic like this still lives up better then films of today.

Whats the film about?
They Live is about a drifter who discovers a pair of sunglasses the allow him to see that there are aliens living in our world. In fact they have taken over the Earth. They run our lives with TV and Billboards everyday. The film stars Roddy Piper, Keith David and Meg Foster. It’s directed by John Carpenter based on the short story Eight O’clock in the Morning by Ray Nelson.

Quick notes: Two actors from Back to the Future are in this film.
Longest fight scene…O and

I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass… and I’m all out of bubblegum.

July 19, 2012

Die Hard

 QUINTESSENTIAL

That budget wasting/cgi wasting/oxygen wasting Michael Bay has proven to us that anyone can do an action film. However, not just anyone can do it well. There is one action film that ALL other action films are judged to when it comes to greatest ever. And that is the QUINTESSENTIAL action film Die Hard. No, there wasn’t some racial stereotype of a robot blowing up random things under the shadow of the American flag while some Victoria’s Secret runway model struggles to put words together in an attempt to get the director’s d*ck hard. (I hate Transformers if that wasn’t clear)

No, there isn’t a square jawed, Zzzzzzzz…boring, goody-goody, untouchable, unflappable, hero that relates to the audience as equally well as a f*cking block of wood. No, the villain wasn’t some dumb faceless one note straw man for the hero to do battle with. Die Hard was about a regular guy who found himself in the wrong place at the wrong time against a sophisticated and scarily realistic criminal. Yes, it has explosions. Yes, it has one liners.(Possibly The Greatest Of All Time) Yes, it has unbelievable stunts. But at its core is a normal guy doing amazing things NOT to just save the day, but to survive. In doing that, Die Hard put us in the shoes…or bare feet…of John McClane….And that’s why it works so well. That’s why its the best. 
As far as legacy is concerned, it was the benchmark example on how to pitch and/or promote an action movie for years. “Its Die Hard in a grocery store!” “Its Die Hard in a school!” “Its Die Hard in space!” Terminator 2 comes close but Die Hard was the first action film to have the perfect balance of action, story, performances, comedy, and pure spectacle. If you’re one of the alarming number of people living under rocks and haven’t seen it, watch it. If you have seen it, watch it again….then tell me I’m wrong.
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