1991

November 13, 2018

(Ep. 112): If Looks Could Kill – Movie Commentary: Novemeber 2018

If Looks Could Kill

1991 Action Comedy 1hr 28m
Before he can graduate, cocky high school student Michael Corben (Richard Grieco) travels to France on a school trip to earn a missing French credit. But when a British intelligence agent mistakes Michael for a spy of the same name, they rush him to headquarters and assign him to capture the evil Augustus Steranko (Roger Rees), using a plethora of espionage gadgetry. Michael has the time of his life — until he crosses paths with two assassins (Tom Rack, Carole Davis) who want him dead.

Director: William Dear
Story by: Fred Dekker 

 Why? Because why not! Open that bottle of wine you keep thinking about and spend a lovely evening with DJ, Matt, Justin and the God that is Richard Grieco. Feast your eyes upon the Grieco and say goodbye to your family, because looks can kill!




November 2, 2016

The People Under the Stairs

The People Under the Stairs: Unique

R

 1991 ‧ Mystery/Thriller ‧ 1h 42m

 Trailer

When young Fool (Brandon Adams) breaks into the home of his family’s greedy and uncaring landlords, he discovers a disturbing scenario where incestuous adult siblings have mutilated a number of boys and kept them imprisoned under stairs in their large, creepy house. As Fool attempts to flee before the psychopaths can catch him, he meets their daughter, Alice (A.J. Langer), who has been spared any extreme discipline by her deranged parents. Can Fool and Alice escape before it’s too late?
Release date: November 1, 1991
Director: Wes Craven
It’s time for something to help out that Halloween hangover you have. Best way is to watch, The People Under the Stairs!
The People Under the Stairs is one of Wes Craven’s most interesting and unique films. This is a film that should be seen by any movie buff. The creativity alone makes this film a must see for anyone. I first saw The People Under the Stairs when I was around 14. It left a very good impression on me, one that would sneak up in the back of my mind every now and then. This year for Halloween I just had to watch it, there isn’t anything close to it.

“This is the perfect film to explain how uncreative hollywood has gotten. I only wish films this unique still came out in theaters today.”

I do not want to talk a dime about the film.
If you never saw it, trust me its best to go in blind.
The People Under the Stairs is a crazy good film. It’s entertaining right to the last frame. Be warned it does go out of this world wacky but that only adds to the uniqueness to a film that is as highly entertaining as this.

Go check it out if you can! 

October 14, 2015

The Horror Time Capsule – 1991: The Pit and the Pendulum

PREACHY

The Pit and the Pendulum –Preachy

There is no doubt that outside of Stephen King, Edgar Allan Poe has been one of the most influential authors for filmmakers to rely upon. Okay, I’ll include H.P. Lovecraft in that conversation as well. And, you know what, that is a perfect segway considering Stuart Gordon’s “The Pit and the Pendulum.”

“Pit” is a take on the classic Poe story about the Spanish Inquisition and it’s most famous torture instrument; The Pendulum. In this tale, a couple, Maria and Antonio, are taken prisoner after Maria is accused of being a witch. The Grand Inquisitor, played by horror favorite, Lance Henrickson, takes a liking to Maria and believes that she has godly powers. Antonio, tries to free his beloved, but finds himself at the mercy of the dreaded Pendulum. Will they both escape?

So, this film same out where it seemed that horror had really gone stale was were looking back at old ideas for horror. The main one that comes to my mind is “The Phantom of the Opera” remake starring Robert Englund. Whereas the “Phantom” was a bit of a mess, and relied on gore, “Pit” while there is some gore, relies more on the horror of the Inquisition with an added dose of the supernatural.

I brought up Lovecraft earlier in this review because two names who are synonymous with Lovecraftian films, Stuart Gordon and Jeffrey Combs, direct and star in the film, respectively. Gordon would go on to work on “Dagon” and pretty much any other film that would be based around some sort of Poe or Lovecraft lore.

Overall, I thought this movie would be far worse than it was, but there is actually some very gallows humor throughout and there are some absolutely silly “Spanish” accents, like they aren’t even trying, which I think adds that extra touch of class. Henricksen stands out as the Grand Inquisitor of course, and he hams it up big time.

If you’re a Poe fan, you might like this film, but I’m sure you might have issues. However, it’s still a fun film if you can get past the religious preaching and overacting.

Here are some other films from ’91 that aren’t the pits:

Child’s Play3
Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare
The People Under the Stairs
Sometimes They Come Back

September 30, 2014

Slaughter Film Presents: Action Movie Time Machine – Double Impact

DOUBLE BLAND
All aboard! Keep all hands and feet inside the time machine at all times. This week we embark on a journey thru time to pay visit to several films that will leave you questioning your very eyeballs. In a series I’m calling “Double Vision”, we will be covering action films featuring twins. Or actors playing twins anyhow.
The year is 1991. Jerry Springer began conducting paternity tests on midget clansmen. The Terminator got a sequel. Vanilla Ice writes an award winning “Ninja Rap” and Sonic the Hedgehog began running all over the damn place. All this and Jean Claude Van Damme played vengeful brothers in “Double Impact“.
THE SKINNY
Young Chad, Jean-Claude Van Damme, has grown up the ward of his uncle Frank, Geoffery Lewis, who owns and operates a fitness club in Los Angeles. One part for aerobics and another for karate. Working in the fitness club with his uncle, in both aerobics and karate, has afforded Chad all the benefits of each. Ass whoopin’ kicks and top notch split flexibility.
 
One day, after receiving some important info from a contact in China, Frank sits Chad down and informs him that Frank isn’t his uncle at all. Frank worked as a bodyguard for Chad’s father when he was just an infant. During this time Chad’s father designed and build a tunnel that connected Hong Kong with the mainland of China. His business partner Nigel Griffith and secret underworld financier Raymond Zhang put out a hit on Chad’s parents. With them out of the way Griffith and Zhang would inherit the tunnel. Why? Don’t ask me.
Frank shows up moments too late and narrowly escapes with Chad as the hitmen fire at him. The head hitman and underling of Zhang is a man named Moon, played by Bolo Yeung. This makes the second time JVCD and Bolo Yeung squared off against one another.
But that’s not all! It turns out that Chad has a twin brother names Alex who was raised in and still lives in Hong Kong. It’s now Frank’s idea to take Chad to Hong Kong, meet Alex, lead the brothers in a war against Griffith and Zhang and take control of their birthright — the tunnel.
 
Once Frank and Chad reach Hong Kong they meet Alex who is less interested in what Frank has to say. He understand how difficult it will be to take out Zhang with all of his hired guns and crime resources.
While they are getting to know each other and forming a plan, days pass and the film turns into a combination of a “fish out of water” comedy with Chad in Hong Kong eating exotic food and what not, and an “odd couple” drama with Chad trying to win over his long lost brother. This is no easy task. Alex grew up on the streets and has resorted to less than legal business means to get by. He’s one tough cookie.
But forget all that. The brother make their presence known. First they stealthily break into one of Zhang’s cocaine manufacturing facilities and blow it sky high. Lol, it’s always cocaine isn’t it?! Then the brothers make an assassination attempt during a meeting between Griffith and Zhang at one of Zhang’s nightclubs. Alex and Chad, pretending to be the same person, bring several cased of “Cognac” to the party per Zhang’s request. But these aren’t your beverage bottles of the French tonic. They’re bombs!
Griffith and Zhang catch wind of what’s going on and escape the explosions, but not before they learn about the twins. Now knowing who was behind the drug bombing, Zhang’s forces track the twins and devise a plan to lure the brothers in so Zhang’s top enforcers can rub ‘em out. How will they do this? By kidnapping Frank and Alex’s love interest Danielle.
Alex and Chad follow to a docked cargo freighter. As Griffith gets his kicks by torturing Frank, the brothers slowly make their way to the engine room where their loved ones are being held. But before the final boss battle, each brother must defeat Zhang’s enforcers. Chad fights and electrocutes Moon, while Alex takes on Kara, Corinna “Cory” Everson, a She-Hulk muscle woman.
 
The end of the film parallels the fights with the enforcers, as the twins each separately hunt down the conspirators. Alex beats Zhang before dropping him to his death from the top of a crane. Chad manages to misdirect Griffith long enough to get the drop on him, and by that I mean Chad drops a cargo container onto him. The End.

 
THE VERDICT
Here is the part where I say whether or not “Double Impact” is a good movie or not. Well this won’t take long. It isn’t bad, but I can’t say that it’s good either. It’s a competently made film with decent special effects, fights and acting. However it isn’t the most original action movie I’ve ever seen. The same could be said about most late 80s and early 90s action movies, but bare with me.
“Double Impact” is about twin sons who grow up and avenge their parents death. Whether it’s avenging a murdered father, or mother, or brother or wife, that concept is in plenty of action movies. The question becomes “How does Double Impact take that idea and expand upon it?”. Well… there are twins…
Yeah that doesn’t do a lot for me either. More than anything it’s down right strange  watching two JCVDs walk around talking about wearing silk underwear. The film even has to stretch to explain why both brothers happen to have the same accent even though they grew up on opposite ends of the world. Alex was dropped off at a Chinese monastery run by French nuns, while Frank had sent Chad to a reform school in France. I guess if you are born in Belgium that means you’re French to the rest of the world. It amazes me how often films feel the need to explain why JVCD has an accent. Action movie fans don’t really care, and if JVCD disserves an explanation than why not Arnold? Why not Stallone?
There is one last thing I want to point out. The tunnel is the birthright of Alex and Chad. What a strange thing to fight over. I mean, I guess you could put up a toll and make yourself some money. But honestly, who gives a shit about a tunnel?
 
When all is said and done “Double Impact” isn’t bad, but it’s also rather forgettable. I would only recommend it to die-hard fans of Van Damme. Otherwise you can pass this one over.
I’m Cory Carr and this concludes our ride on the “Action Movie Time Machine”. Things are only going to get better… or strange from here, so until next time, Semper Fi!
For more from Cory, check out his website slaughterfilm.com, where he and his good friend Forest Taylor record weekly podcasts, reviewing the films that are legendary, even in Hell!
October 1, 2013

Simplistic Reviews Presents: Cinema and Suds, Unforgiven and The Wild Bunch/Ranger Creek Mesquite Smoked Porter

Who hasn’t dreamed of being a cowboy at some point in their lives?  Riding the open plains, looking for outlaws, or even being a outlaw.  Upholding or breaking the law.  Getting drunk in bars, enjoying the company of a young lady on the 2nd floor of a saloon, or even shooting the gun at the feet of someone yelling at them to “Dance!”

In the case of cowboy/western films, there are three eras of great westerns.  In the 1950s and 60s you had the John Ford and John Wayne epics.  The late 1960s and 70s ushered in “The Man with No Name” trilogy and the cowboy anti-heroes in “The Wild Bunch” with it’s ultra-violence being the trademark.  After the late 1970s, the western genre was dead, until the early 1990s with a little film called “Unforgiven,” a modern classic that dissected westerns from the 60s and 70s and re-ignited people’s love for classic Westerns.

Now, it’s no mystery that drinking is a huge part of Westerns, case in point, William Munny from “Unforgiven.”  It’s not until he goes back to the bottle during the climax of “Unforgiven” that you see the “real” William Munny.

So in this edition of Cinema and Suds we have the modern classic Western, “Unforgiven” and the classic classic Western “The Wild Bunch.” and a big bottle of Ranger Creek Mesquite Smoked Porter, which is plenty for this double feature.

Enveloped with Texas Mesquite, this smoked porter, which clocks in at 6.8% ABV, is bold beer with an old school taste perfect for a former-gunslinger.

Check out the video companion above for a more fun and cowboy-like hijinks!

August 13, 2012

The Naked Gun 2½: The Smell of Fear

The Naked Gun 2½: The Smell of Fear: Hilarious


Is the second film in a comedy classic trilogy…

“Well, send him plane fare and a new pair of pants.” 
The Last Time we saw Frank Drebin?
his best friend and partner, played by O.J. Simpson was in a coma after being shot 6 times. As he was investigate the shooting he stumbled onto a plot to assassinate Queen Elizabeth II by Vincent Ludwig, played by Ricardo Montalban. 
“Thank you. But, in all honesty, the last three I backed over with my car. Luckily, they turned out to be drug-dealers.”
The Naked Gun 2½: The Smell of Fear (Trailer)
Lt. Frank Drebbin is back! A new evil has popped up and its up to Frank to save the day! Both Frank and Jane are no longer together and a Scientist named Dr. Mainheimer is publishing a report on the future of energy. Evil energy companies like nuclear and oil decided to save their industries by replacing Dr. Mainheimer with a decoy who has his own report that will keep nuclear and oil at the front of the future of energy. 
“There, there. You had no way of knowing the man you were dating was a vicious, murdering sociopath.”
The smell of fear is a very good sequel to really a perfect comedy. It’s tough to make another film when the first is a comedy masterpiece. But all said and done 2 1/2 is a funny film. It’s a solid sequel that has great quotes, more O.J. and more action. I highly enjoy this film and highly suggests you watch this film especially if you haven’t before it’s that good. And let’s hope you seen the first one since it’s such a perfect film.
They really don’t make funny films like this anymore!
“I’m single! I love being single! I haven’t had this much sex since I was a boy scout leader!” 
My favorite scene from The Final Insult is the Lion scene. I remember seeing this for the first time and when the lion comes out of nowhere and attacks, I fell to the ground out of my chair. The link of when Frank letting loose of all the animals at the zoo to the attack was so perfect it made me cry with laughter. Like the pee scene from the first film, this scene gets me every damn time!

“Oh, that would be me. I’ve been swimming in raw sewage. I love it!”

Stay tuned for tomorrow as we look at

Naked Gun 33 1/3: The Final Insult
August 8, 2012

Switch

Switch: Fine

Listen Switch isn’t a bad film…It’s just a “fine” one.

Straight from IMDB the film is about A sexist, chauvinist pig gets his just desserts when his angry ex-girlfriends murder him and he is reincarnated as a woman.

It’s a Blake Edwards film so it’s got some funny scenes, but it’s no Skin Deep.

Problem I have with this film is well the date rape scene. So the guy dies and comes back as a girl. He tells his best friend played by Jimmy Smits, who says he believes him/her but still wants to have sex with him/her. Later on in the film they drink and drink and they go back to the he/her’s place where apparently Jimmy Smits has sex with him/her without him/her knowing and (Spoiler Alert)… impregnates her…WTF Jimmy Smits? The whole thing is odd and weird for this film. Nothing upsets me, trust me I’ve seen some F’d up films and I don’t care, but for this film it’s just out of place.

It’s a bit odd, but if a girl ever says they’re a friend of mine who just came back from the dead I will most likely skip the I wanna have sex with you part.

The film really is a Girly film, so if that’s your thing or what look out!

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