24

July 26, 2018

24: Season Two

When you follow a historic season things seem like they would of been tough. But for 24: Season Two everything came off way too easy and instead the writers wrote an even better season.

For fans of 24, Season 2 will always be the reason George Mason will never leave our minds. Thanks Mason!

The second season is set 18 months after season one. The season’s main plot follows the work of now-U.S. President David Palmer and agent Jack Bauer to stop terrorists from detonating a nuclear bomb in Los Angeles. Introduced into the situation is Kate Warner, a woman who ends up getting vital information related to CTU’s mission.

July 22, 2018

24: Season One

Premiering November 6, 2001 – 24 aired it’s first episode marking the beginning of one of the greatest shows to ever appear on TV. Season one is simply “Historic“.

Counterterrorism agent Jack Bauer fights the bad guys of the world, a day at a time. With each week’s episode unfolding in real time, “24” covers a single day in the life of Bauer each season. Jack deals with assassination attempts, nuclear attacks, bioterrorism, torture, traitors, sleeper cells, other bad guys and the alarming tendency for his romances to end badly — very badly.

July 17, 2018

(Ep. 107): The Simplistic Reviews Podcast: July 2018

 It’s July, so that means it’s time for a Summer blowout episode of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast. We broach many subjects including Star Wars’ big problem, Robocop reboots, Chris Hardwick’s troubles, and the Naked Gun. Yes…that assortment of subjects has never been collectively tackled before.

Also Justin is put on the hot seat for the new segment ‘Questions From The Crowd.’

DJ and Justin go crazy with their love for the television show, ’24.’ And the boys try and figure out films by their last line in the new game, ‘Simplistic Last Lines.’ All that and more on this new episode of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast.

NOTES

MUSIC

Fast Times Club By Idols

Gold Medal By Sounds Like Sander

4. For Losing It By The Triads

January 20, 2017

Simplistic Lists: The Worst Film and TV Politicans

Maybe…just maybe…it’s a little too early to call our incoming Presidents one of the worst of all time. I mean, the inauguration hasn’t even happened yet. But sitting through confirmation hearings of people who don’t have any experience in the office they are about to take (including our newest president) to be fair, it’s a little worrisome for most people that have a care for our country and not just a selfish desire for themselves.

With that being said, I thought it would be fun to take a look at some of the worst politicians from either film or our TV screen:

Mayor of Halloween Town “The Nightmare Before Christmas”

Sure it’s a cartoon, but the literal “two-face” mayor goes off at the handle at the sign of discourse and even admits that he’s an elected official and can’t make decisions by himself.

Mayor Lenny Clotch “Ghostbusters I and II”

First things first, always listen to the Ghostbusters. Two, keep religion out of your politics. Don’t kiss the ring of the cardinal and ask him for help during a paranormal crisis. While “Ghostbusters” is taking the piss out of elected officials for the most part, it is scary that some elected officials need to pray and counsel with “a high power” before making a decision that could impact millions.

Mayor Diamond Joe Quimby “The Simpsons”
Womanizing, taking bribes from gangsters, illegitimate kids; all in a days works for the mayor of Springfield. Quimby is so over the top that you have to laugh, but is amalgamation of so many aspects of politics that are corrupt can still give you a sad face.
 State Senator Clayton Davis “The Wire”
While it’s hilarious to hear “sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet” over and over on a constant loop, there’s no doubt the corruption that Senator Davis presides over during the run of “The Wire.” The best idea the entire series was “Hamsterdam” and it wasn’t even his idea. 
Senator Robert Kelly “X-Men”
A mutant-phobe in favor of a registration act that would “out” all mutants, he’s a monster in a $2,000 suit. With so much focus on the rights on members of the LGBTQ community and minority communities, the scary thing is that many of our leaders are much like Senator Kelly.
President Charles Logan “24”
A complete weasel and in the back pocket of the Russians…sounds like someone familiar…
President Arnold Schwarzenegger “Demolition Man”
You might not see him in “Demolition Man” but even back in 1992 we were making movies with celebrities as presidents…..just unpack that for a minute.
I’m sure there are a ton that are missing from this list, but as the list goes on it would just get sadder and sadder. You might think that I missed out on Frank Underwood from “House of Cards” but Frank is so cold and calculating that you have to stand in awe and simply admire him.
May 3, 2014

Simplistic Sneak Peek Ep. 4

On this installment of Simplistic Sneak Peek, Matthew, Justin and DJ take a look at trailers for upcoming television shows including Jack Bauer’s 24 return, Damon Lindeloff’s HBO show Leftovers, and Michael Bay’s…(sigh)…new TNT show The Last Ship.  And just for kicks, the boys keep it on a Michael Bay tip and look at the 2nd trailer for the upcoming Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie.  I got a “tip” for Michael Bay…stay away from Thundercats, Gargoyles, and Centurions if you know what’s good for you, nostalgia killer.  Anyway, you can check out the links to these trailers below if you haven’t seen them, then click the video above to see Matthew, Justin, and DJ’s thoughts about them.

 24: Live Another Day Trailer

The Leftovers Trailer

The Last Ship Trailer

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Trailer #2

September 24, 2013

Simplistic TV: The Blacklist: Premiere Episode

FILLING

There were two shows I’d been pining to see all summer.  One stars a resurrected S.H.I.E.L.D. Agent.  The other stars Alan F%*KING Shore.  After watching the premiere of the latter, all I can say is this.  Not since Kiefer Sutherland’s 24 has there been a television show that is as pulpy, intense, humorously ridiculous, and just plain fun as NBC’s The Blacklist.  A show centered around a character larger than life.  Larger than the show he’s on.  A character that rights the ship no matter how bonkers or predictable the situation may be.  That was Kiefer Sutherland.  That was 24.  That is now James Spader.  That is now The Blacklist.  A show that is FILLING that hole in your heart that you don’t like to admit you have.  The hole that enjoys the hell out of a show that wants to be fun.

Understand that 24 was a television event when it premiered back in 2001.  It was a show primarily based on a gimmick.  Twenty-four episodes a season, for one hour, played in real time, all equaling one day.  People watched in droves because the concept hadn’t been done before.  However, something changed after season 3.  Oh, the show kept its format.  However, people stopped flocking to watch it for the concept alone.  They flocked to it because of the craziness.  They flocked to it to see how the show would push the envelop that week.  They flocked to it to see what insane thing Jack Bauer would do to someone next.  The show became a guilty pleasure that people weren’t that guilty about.  The Joe Carnahan directed pilot for The Blacklist is eerily reminiscent of the 24 I used to love.  You see all the punches coming, but are still giddy when they land.  What surprises there are border on unrealistic, but you still gasp when they happen.  And OH BOY is there a character in it that chews up the scenery.  So, what’s it about already?

An infamous American traitor, missing for decades, shows up one day at FBI headquarters and turns himself in.  He offers the government a list of dangerous terrorists plotting against the country.  His only request is that he’ll spill what he knows to a rookie FBI profiler.   Not as experimental a concept as 24.  However, I think the series producers understand what they want to be.  They want to be that 4th season of 24 right out the gate.  They understand that what made 24 great was the outrageous situations and the crazy plot twists and of course the larger than life character.

To be honest, this review was essentially a test to see how long I could go without gushing over the sardonic brilliance of James Spader.  He is such a great choice for this character.  Raymond Reddington is essentially the bizarro Jack Bauer.  A man who talks when he should act and acts when he should talk.  A man always two steps ahead of every situation.  A man, I’m not afraid to say, plays the Hannibal Lecter role better than the man playing the Hannibal Lecter role on fellow NBC show Hannibal.  If there was one reason and one reason only to watch The Blacklist, James Spader’s performance is that reason.  You can just see the potential for great stuff to come with him.  Lets hope writer Jon Bokenkamp can give him as good of material as David E. Kelly did.  Because this show will go as far as Spader’s character takes it.  Relative newcomer Megan Boone is fine in the role of FBI profiler Elizabeth Keene.  What you hope for, chemistry-wise, is if she can hold her own well enough with Spader.  The man does have the potential to act you right off the screen.  Boone has her moments and will hopefully gain more strength as the show goes on.  I’d say something about Henry Lennix, but he is essentially playing the same role he plays in every single thing he’s in.  “Bland Man In Charge.”  Diego Klattenhoff is a bit of a cold fish as well, but who cares?  It’s Spader’s show.

Blacklist is a show that FILLS the void left by shows like 24 and Alias.  Shows that are aware of their flaws, but use them in a way that somehow amplifies their fun.  It is a void that needed to be filled and that networks have been trying to fill for years now.  Don’t believe me?  Fox is already trying to bring back 24 one last time after their movie plans for the show went belly up.  Until that day, The Blacklist will serve as a more than adequate placeholder.  Slap on a fedora…stay away from ballpoint pens…watch it…then tell me I’m wrong.

April 5, 2013

The Simplistic Reviews March Madness Bracket of Good and Evil Elite 8 Results: TV GOOD

JACK BAUER (1)
BUFFY SUMMERS (2) WINNER

In one corner; the protector of black presidents, Chinese torture survivor, and a guy that shoots Robocop’s wife to obtain information that might save the U.S. from a nuclear attack.  In the other corner; slayer of vampires, demons, aliens, and other evil entities that look to take over the world, while doing all of this before cheerleading practice.  In the battle between two of TV’s most bad-ass heroes, it came down to a razor-thin margin.  Ms. Summers was able to drive the final stake through Jack Bauer’s heart to bring home the TV Hero Championship to Sunnydale.  Just one too many bad days for old Jack.

March 31, 2013

The Simplistic Reviews March Madness Bracket of Good and Evil Sweet 16 Results: TV GOOD

JACK BAUER (1) WINNER
XENA (5)

You know, even against a demi-god I don’t find it hard to believe Jack Bauer would find a way to win.  His bloodlust is probably on par if not more so than the warrior princess.  The same with his rage.  The more I think about it, are we certain Jack isn’t the God of war?
BUFFY SUMMERS (2) WINNER
RAYLAN GIVENS (3)

Raylan’s southern charm and steely stare is ineffective against The Slayer.  Mainly because of Raylan’s weakness for hot blondes.  His ex-wife Winona, His ex-girlfriend Ava, that con artist bartender, and now Buffy.  All those girls have gotten the best of Raylan in one way or another.  However, Buffy is the only one badass enough to jam a wooden stake through the side of that Stetson.  
March 29, 2013

The Simplistic Reviews March Madness Bracket of Good and Evil Round Two Results: TV BAD

JOFFREY BARATHEON (1) 
CERSEI LANNISTER (8) WINNER

The only lady that could open hand slap the king and get away with it was Cersei Lannister.  Killing him isn’t that far a step.  And seeing as she already has one king on her kill resume, it would be easy for her to kill another.   Sadly, its less depraved killing Joffrey than explaining the circumstances of how he was conceived.  (SHIVER)

BEN LINUS (2) WINNER
ANGELUS (7)

People underestimate Ben Linus at their own peril.  He’s stared into the eyes of the smoke monster and lived.  A vampire is small potatoes to this master manipulator.  

RUSSELL EDGINGTON (3) 
TRINITY KILLER (6) WINNER

Much props for Edgington reminding us how an ACTUAL vampire is supposed to act. (I’M LOOKING AT YOU TWILIGHT).  However, serial killers, unlike vampires, can hide in plain sight.  No one sees them coming.

BOYD CROWDER (5) WINNER
NINA MYERS (4)
In the battle of smooth talking snakes in the grass, Boyd Crowder wins hands down.  He’s a man that uses twenty words when three will do.  Sometimes to confuse you.  Sometimes to buy himself time to outwit you.  But always to win.  There isn’t a con you can lay on him that he hasn’t seen, done himself or done better.  
March 29, 2013

The Simplistic Reviews March Madness Bracket of Good and Evil Round Two Results: TV GOOD

JACK BAUER (1) WINNER
TYRION LANNISTER (9)

Well, you can add midget to the magna carta long kill list of people Jack Bauer has sent to the next world.  All he needs is a wizard, a dinosaur, and a unicorn and he gets a free smoothie.

BUFFY SUMMERS (2) WINNER
SHERLOCK HOLMES (7)

Much to the objection of fellow British smarty pants Giles, Buffy takes care of the world’s greatest detective with relative ease.  Somewhere Moriarty is slapping his forehead muttering, “You’re telling me all I needed was a stake?!”

TITUS PULLO (6)

RAYLAN GIVINS (3) WINNER


Pullo has Raylan beat physically, but Raylan could easily out think the rugged Roman warrior.  Knowing that Raylan has to deal with people as big and physically imposing a Titus F%*king Pullo on a daily basis makes me NEVER want to go to Kentucky.

XENA (5) WINNER 
OMAR LITTLE (4)

Omar may have been warring on the mean streets of Baltimore for his entire life, but Xena has been warring around uncivilized lands filled with wizards, gods, and god knows what else.  Oh and speaking of warring, it has been speculated that Xena’s father was actually Ares.  Ares as in THE GOD OF F%*KING WAR.  Sorry Omar, its all in the game.

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