Avengers

May 11, 2018

DJ Rambles About Avengers: Infinity War, A Quiet Place, Atlanta Season 2, & Apple Hard Drives

I haven’t written a review for a while.  This is mainly because I wanted to focus my attention on The Simplistic Reviews Podcast and guesting on some of our friends’ shows to promote The Simplistic Reviews Podcast. (Have you heard it? Justin Polizzi…Matthew Stewart…moi? It’s pretty dope.) Anyhow, a fateful occurrence involving a spontaneously combusting Apple hard drive suddenly hampered my ability to broadcast my random ravings. (Damn you, Steve Jobs.) However, thanks to the grace of God, Buddha, Vishnu, and two Tennesseans that I consider my family, I got back a computer and thusly my outlet for expositing my inner most thoughts on film and television. (Blame them.  It’s their fault for this.) So, I saw this as an opportunity to get back to writing stuff for our lovely site again.  So…um…what have I missed?

Avengers: Infinity War – BALLSY  I was an avid comic book collector from the early ’90s until around 2007.  And out of all those comics I bought and read, Infinity Gauntlet was the event book that stuck with me.  It was my introduction to many characters, including Thanos.  It was also the first time I had seen many of the heroes I grew up reading actually killed in comic book form.  Suddenly…brutally…unapologetically.


So when Thanos popped his head out at the end of the first Avengers film, I knew what was coming and I thought I was prepared for it.  I wasn’t.  The altering of Thanos’ motivations from book to screen (From wanting to impress a girl to wanting to balance the universe because of the destruction of his planet.) not only strengthens the character but ramps up the drama of his destruction.  Each death changed from just pure shock value, which it was in the comic book, to a heartbreaking and moving loss. 

And yes cynical MCU disparager, I am fully aware Kevin Feige, the Russo Brothers, and whoever else can resurrect the fallen at will.  That doesn’t make the performances of the actors perishing or the performances of the actors reacting to their friends perishing less moving or well done.  When Indiana Jones seemingly falls off a cliff while riding a tank in The Last Crusade, I knew Indy would somehow survive.  However, Sean Connery’s quivering shock while delivering the line “I never told him anything” and his gasping relief while telling his newly resurrected son “I thought I lost you, boy” still reaches in and pulls at your heartstrings despite having the knowledge Indy would likely be fine.  

The ability to bring characters back from death isn’t something invented by the MCU, Marvel Comics, or comic books in general.  It is a tool often used by creators in the medium of fiction.  Just ask Jon Snow…or Spock…or Gandalf…or Sherlock Holmes…or Robocop…or Jesus H. F%*king Christ.  So stow all that, “Who cares?  They’re all coming back anyway” myopic thinking and try to appreciate the journey.  

Apart from all things snap related, Infinity War is a blast.  This is a cinematic universe that knows their secret weapon is the interactions of their characters.  And that secret weapon is on full display here.  Is it my favorite MCU film?  No. (*COUGH!* Civil War *COUGH!*) But it is easily a top five for me.

  • SIDE NOTE: Thank You Taika Waititi for what you did with the character of Thor in Thor: Ragnarok.  It’s like Waititi rebuilt the engine of a car and the Russos took that car for a joy ride on the autobahn.  Waititi deserves so much credit for making the previously ‘meh’ Thor one of the MCU’s most entertaining characters. 
Atlanta Season 2 – CONFOUNDING – My Donald Glover love stretches back farther than most.  I was a fan of his comedy troop, Derrick Comedy.  I watched their oddly funny film Mystery Team and came away hoping Glover would get the chance to do more projects.  Because of his comedy roots, I found myself searching to find the punchline when Glover started his rap career.  I quickly began to realize that Childish Gambino was a legit avenue for another facet of his talents.  When he left Community to make a Twin Peaks-esque “comedy” on FX, I was skeptical.  But after watching the first season of Atlanta, I was convinced that Glover was something special.  My expectations were high for Season 2, which is probably why “Robbing Season” left me a bit underwhelmed.  The biggest standout of the season is easily the unofficial Get Out sequel episode featuring the titular Teddy Perkins.  Glover’s star is shining bright with Lando, an SNL appearance, and “This Is America” grabbing headlines.  I just hope the next season of Atlanta brushes off the sophomore slump it seems to be on and gets back to knocking my socks off.
  • SIDE NOTE: Lakeith Stanfield is astoundingly good.  I’m as interested in his future as I was with Glover’s.
A Quiet Place – ELEGANT  Michael Bay took something I held dear and made it into nothing less than a joke. (Nope…never letting it go.) However, Bay’s Platinum Dunes studio gave me something this year that is a step towards an apology.  I was rooting for A Quiet Place because I really like John Krasinski and am creepily infatuated with Emily Blunt. (Sorry John.  You’re married to her.  You should understand my infatuation.) Thankfully, I might have never heard of either one of them and still be impressed by the quality of the filmmaking in A Quiet Place and its clever simplicity.  People have tried to tear it down as of late with petty nitpicks.  My retort is…and I say this with all due respect…Shhhh!
  • SIDE NOTE: I’ve been hearing the rumblings of a John Krasinski/Emily Blunt respective casting for Reed Richards and Sue Storm in the MCU’s relaunch of the Fantastic Four…and I honestly can’t say I don’t love that suggestion.
Those are just a few things I’ve seen that I missed the opportunity to ramble about.  I could get into the stupidity of Rampage or the sloppy storytelling of Altered Carbon or the chilling feeling that ran up my spine throughout You Were Never Really Here, but I’m gonna try to pace myself.  As one of my favorite Avengers once said…

March 25, 2015

Late-to-the-party Matt: Who are these chicks?

Anyone worth their film-going, or trailer viewing, salt has seen and dissected the “Avengers 2: Age of Ultron” trailer over and over again. The main points of interest have revolved around who is who, mainly the person in the cave and the woman seen while Thor is being seemingly electrocuted. However, one person still isn’t being talked about nearly enough. It’s her; see below:

WHO IS F, IS SHE?!

The main reason I bring this up is the recent mention that Carol Danvers, aka Captain Marvel, has already been cast. Could this woman be Captain Marvel right under our nose. The other reason I bring this up is the fact that she was not only in the 3rd Avengers trailer, but also the 2nd. See below:

Could this just be a MacGuffin? Maybe, but I also find it hard to believe that you would include a “nothing” character in not just one, but two trailers. The other speculation is that this character is simply this same character below:

The main argument I have with this, and while it might be weak, is that the two actresses do not look alike. Sure, characters are re-cast all the time (Ed Norton/Mark Ruffalo anyone?) and there seems to be more to this character than meets the eye.

Leave any comments in the comments section and yell at me for my ineptitude or lack of sense.

August 4, 2014

The Simplistic Reviews Podcast (Ep. 28): July 2014

 FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY

As Summer continues, the guys from Simplistic Reviews get a little hot under the collar. This month DJ and Matt rip into Kate Mara for her contempt of comic book films and their fans, while also paying their debts in a new segment where they FINALLY review the 2004 Ice Cube motorcycle classic “Torque.”

The guys also go over what they took away from this year’s San Diego Comic-Con and get their quote on with another addition of Simply Quotable with the stakes even higher this time around.
All this, and so much more, on this month’s edition of the Simplistic Review Podcast.

Show Notes:
Kate Mara on FF4

October 31, 2012

Impressive. Most Impressive

IMPRESSIVE

Disney is the illuminati.  I’m convinced.  But before I cower in fear at the thought of a rodent ruling the world, I will sit back in relish the mere possibilities Disney’s acquisition of Lucasfilms present.  Disney owns Pixar.  Fine.  Disney owns ABC & ESPN.  Fine.  Disney Owns The Muppets.  Um…okay.  Disney owns Marvel.  Whoa.  Disney owns Star Wars.  Hold up!  Disney owns Indiana Jones.  Wait…what?!?  Disney owns ILM.  Oh, come on!  Disney owns the naming rights to Android phones.  You’re sh*tting me.

So essentially you can wake up one morning, purchase tickets on your Mickey Mouse phone (Literally) for a Pixar film that has Captain America beating up Nazis with Indiana Jones and 67 years later joining  Iron Man and the Avengers as the S.H.I.E.L.D. Helicarrier is sucked into a wormhole that leads to an encounter with a green, big eared Jedi master in the Dagobah System, then come home and watch SportsCenter hosted by Stuart Scott and Kermit The F*cking Frog!  I think my film brain just orgasmed.  That is the world we are living in now.  And its a great world….That is until Disney begins plans for construction of a fully functioning and operational Death Star in Orlando.  Close your eyes…think about it…then try…just f*cking try..to tell me I’m wrong.

September 11, 2012

The Cabin in the Woods

The Cabin in the Woods – Tribute

*There could be some spoilers in the links, so tread with care*

The 2012 Summer movie season is over and I saw all the big ones; The Avengers, The Dark Knight Rises, Amazing Spider-Man (even though some people wouldn’t agree that Spidey was a “big” Summer movie) and Prometheus.  Sure, you had The Bourne Legacy and a few other hyped movies, but my best experience came before Summer even started when “The Cabin in the Woods” FINALLY was unleashed to unsuspecting audiences in April.

Love letters are always nice when you get them from people that mean it, and people like Joss Whedon and Drew Goddard must really have a crush on me.  I feel like a mobster in “Goodfellas” and this is their Tribute to not only me, but everything they love as well.
 
The premise is simple; five stereotypes (including the nerd, jock, and stoner) are headed for a secluded cabin, are menaced by a “prophet of doom” and are attacked by monsters.  Like I said, simple…….WRONG.  Contrary to what people might think, this is a very self-aware tribute to genre films, and it’s pulled off perfectly.

Due to this movie being delayed, its a tad funny to see Chris Hemsworth, you might have seen him in a few low-budget movies like “Thor” and “The Avengers,” in one of his first roles.  You also get a few Whedon favorites like Amy Acker (Dollhouse) and Tom Lenk (Buffy and Angel)

Sprinkle some Evil Dead, a dash of Lovecraft, a sprinkle of ’50s giant monster movies, and good dose of splatter/slasher films, and you have “The Cabin in the Woods.”  This is definitely a trip you’d like to take, sure, you might end up tied up, gagged, and set on fire by people in white cherub masks, but at least you’ll finally be able to see the “merman

Fun Fact:  Please see “The White Board.”  It’s a magical experience.

 

July 19, 2012

The Amazing Spider-Man

DESPERATE 

DESPERATE to keep the property at Sony to thusly prevent a possible Spidey sighting in Avengers 2, which would thusly lead to Marvel Studios earning an estimated BAGILLION dollars. (I Rounded Up)

DESPERATE to win over the hipster/Twilight audience with its emo, big haired, recluse, douche hero and his “Ready To Turn My Back On Everything, Including My Own Self Worth” love interest.

DESPERATE to make the film grim and dark like The Dark Knight, but sadly only accomplishing to make it poorly lit and soulless.

DESPERATE to be special and different with a highly promoted yet LAME half-baked Spidey secret origin, which they abandon before the film’s midway point.

DESPERATE to not be like the first trilogy while poorly attempting to steal things from it.

DESPERATE to cast great actors but then relegating them to being only exposition spewing wallpaper.

DESPERATE to redefine the hero’s core mantra but only managing to debase it into a vague, poorly delivered shrug of a purpose.

Some say the greatest inspiration is often born through desperation…good words.  I, however, don’t see inspiration here.  I see a middle aged hoodlum, who managed to get a gun, trying to hold up a liquor store.  Unfortunately the cops showed up too fast and he is now using an old Korean woman as a human shield, desperately holding on to what little semblance of hope he has of escaping.  A slew of dumb ass decisions piling up to result in a chalk outline on a splotchy linoleum floor.  THAT is The Amazing Spider-Man.  If you waste your time and watch it, you’ll be hard pressed to…tell me I’m wrong.

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