Breaking Bad

April 12, 2014

Simplistic Sneak Peek Ep. 3

This episode of Simplistic Sneak Peek gives us a kaiju’s ejaculate, a Favreau/Vergara/Johansson threesome, and a double-sided dildo street fight.  All that and more in this oddly sexual look at the upcoming films Godzilla, Chef, and Neighbors.  You can watch all three trailers below commentary free then click the video above to hear what the boys had to say about them.

Godzilla

Chef

Neighbors (Red Band)

September 29, 2013

Breaking Bad Predictions (Justin’s Take)

Okay so this is it.

Today its all over.

One of the most brilliant shows ever to be placed on the boob tube is ending, and it might go out in a bang! After 61 episodes Breaking Bad is ending on the 62nd episode in-titled; “Felina”.

and if you haven’t heard yet:

FeLiNa = Iron, Lithium and Sodium aka, Blood, Meth and Tears.

Now the great thing about the writing of Breaking Bad is it can go in a completely different way. How many times have Walt and Jesse got themselves in a corner and boom! Using their minds problem solved.

So this is just how I see it going and how I would like to see it play out.

Blood: Walt brings that big ass machine gun to take out the Neo-Nazi gang.

Meth: Taken back control of his product, then destroying it all.

Tears: Walt dies. He takes the Ricin, because like he said before, He isn’t going to let the cancer get him and it’s over when he says its over.

Now lets back up a second. I think its safe to say Walt is going back to get his meth. That was his empire that he himself built. This is triggered after seeing Elliot and Gretchen Schwartz lie on TV. I wish he went to go kill them, but I don’t think that’s going to happen.

When Walt goes back to get his meth he will run into Jesse. He’s going to be surprised since he’s under the impression that Jesse is dead. This could lead to a team up in order to get Lydia and The Neo-Nazi gang. Now there is a good amount of bad blood between the two and maybe Walt takes the ricin to show Jesse no matter what I will be dead. Both Lydia and Todd will die, maybe together in a fire at the meth lab.

Now Jesse “kinda” has a clean slate. Yes he told Hank and Gomez on tape everything that happened. But both are dead and the tape was taken by the Neo-Nazi gang. So if Jesse knows any good he will go grab Andrea’s son and run off to a safe place far far away because the DEA is pretty much just looking to get Mr. White.

With Jesse gone and Walt on the verge of death, Skyler, Betsy and Flynn might just all move into a house together with both their husbands now dead. Now let me take this one step further. Last episode “Granite State” the movie, Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium popped up. This could be a clue using it’s plot of a man who thinks his time has come and is giving his business over, maybe Walt hands it over to a family member? Far fetch? Maybe but cool none the less.

I think that’s pretty much it. I wish the episode was a good few hrs so a lot can play out but I think it will be a fast, bumpy ride.

But I would like to see one more thing, even if its by a long shot. But hey I could dream right? With Walt walking into the darkness of his own death (We don’t see him die onscreen) his hat remains. Like Charlie Chaplin, Walt’s hat is what makes him. And maybe just maybe in that Chaplin moment, the hat gets pickup with a gust of wind and rolls. It rolls and rolls till it is stopped by someone’s feet. They bend over and pick up the hat and place it on their head.

Heisenberg is back!

—Cut to Black—

September 29, 2013

What We’ve Learned From Breaking Bad

September 24, 2013

The Simplistic Reviews Podcast: September Edition

Yay!  The rest of the months for the rest of the year end with -ber!  You can tell we are easily excited over on Simplistic Reviews, especially this month of September.
As we reach the final quarter of 2013, and our one-year anniversary of podcasting to the Interwebs, we go all out this month, well, not really, but we have to do something to get you guys excited.
In this September edition of the Simplistic Reviews podcast we talk tons of Fall TV, the final episodes of “Breaking Bad,” just how bad the remake of “Robocop” will be, the return of Simply Quotable, and our favorite sports films of all time.
All this, including a surprise cameo by Al Pacino as he gets all hot and bothered about the classic Amanda Bynes’ TV show “What I Like About You.”  Who-Ahhhhh!!!!
Check out the show notes below for more fun stuff, and coming this week, The Simplistic Reviews List of things that we’ve learned from “Breaking Bad.”
Show Notes:


Robocop Remake
SlaughterFilm
Cinema and Suds
Fall TV Schedule
Breaking Bad Theories

FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY.

Click HERE to listen to podcast

Check us out on FacebookTwitter, and Pinterest

August 31, 2013

The Simplistic Reviews Podcast: August Edition

Hello boils and ghouls.  Okay, this isn’t the Cryptkeeper, and it’s nearly three months away from Halloween, but I couldn’t help myself.  But what I can offer you is The Simplistic Reviews Podcast for the month of August (and some of June and July, we had a lot to catch up on in this edition).

After an extended hiatus the boys are back (of course this is Matt speaking in the 3rd person) and maybe not better then ever, but at least their adequate.  This month they jump into the “Ben Affleck as Batman” debate head first, share their shame in everyone’s favorite segment, “Simply Ashamed,” talk some “Breaking Bad,” celebrate the filmography of Sinbad, and campaign for the best film coming this Fall.

Be sure to check the show notes below for more fun and hijinks.

Show Notes:

What Makes Breaking Bad so good?
SlaughterFilm
Cinema and Suds
Fall Movie Preview

FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY.

Click HERE to listen to podcast

Check us out on FacebookTwitter, and Pinterest

March 26, 2013

The Simplistic Reviews March Madness Bracket of Good and Evil Round One Results: TV BAD

JOFFREY BARATHEON (1) WINNER
ATTI OF THE JULII (16)

Atti gets whatever she want by using the gift god gave her.  Her potent sexuality.  However, brat Baratheon usually doesn’t take kindly to people using sex as a weapon on him.  Just as Tyrion and those badly beaten whores he sent Joff’s way.  Baratheon wins…Atti dies.

BEN LINUS (2) WINNER 
THE GOVERNOR (15)

The Governor is a brutal master manipulator.  But where he has to juggle the wills of men and zombies, Ben Linus has even more on his plate.  Smoke monsters, polar bears, shapeshifting evil beings, time traveling islands,  and enough flashbacks to make a Vietnam vet blush.  On top of the fact that The Governor wasn’t coldhearted enough to let his zombie daughter go.  Linus let his human daughter get her head blown off for his own purposes.  Linus wins and The Governor lost.

RUSSELL EDGINGTON (3) WINNER
GUS FRING (14)

When you get down to brass tacks, Russell Edgington and Gus Fring are both businessmen.  Only one wants to rule the human race and drain the blood of every non-vampire like cattle, and one wants to sell chicken and meth; easy enough to understand.  While both these bloodsuckers are master manipulators, Fring forgot one thing;  Edgington is FU*KING IMMORTAL!  Maybe if that meth was laced with silver nitrate and oak he would have had a chance, but Russell takes his battle easily.

NINA MYERS (4) WINNER
SYLAR (13)

There isn’t a superpower out there that can compete with the evil of the 24’s biggest snake in the grass, Nina Myers.  The thing that makes her so deadly is that you never see her coming.  Jack Bauer didn’t and Sylar wouldn’t either.  Time runs out for the power sucker.

BOYD CROWDER (5) WINNER
ROBERT QUARLES (12)

A sadist versus a slick, smooth talking, hustler from the south.  Robert Quarles has many a trick and pistol up his sleeve.  However, not enough to out wit and out battle the man I like to call The Redneck Joker.  Boyd manages to get his enemies to do his work for him and disarm Robert Quarles quick and simple like.

TRINITY KILLER (6) WINNER
PRESIDENT CHARLES LOGAN (11)

If there is one thing you can count on its this;  never trust a politician, especially a sniveling liar-of-a-president like Chuck Logan.  I mean, this guy killed our first black TV president for crying out loud!  But how does one sniveler defeat another sniveler?  Giving the Secret Service and the CIA a day off, the Commander in Chief doesn’t have a chance against the Trinity Killer.  Using his patented “bludgeon a man to death with a hammer” routine, Trinity wins, and goes off to enjoy a scalding hot shower while crying.

ANGELUS (7) WINNER
SHANE VENDRELL (10)

One of the most dangerous things in this world is a desperate man.  And they don’t get more desperate than Shane Vendrell.  However, desperation is exactly the thing a vampire like Angelus would prey on.  Sad thing is, that family Shane is always trying to protect would be an hors d’oeurve for our favorite vain vamp.   Hand grenade won’t work this time Shane-O.

CERSEI LANNISTER (8) WINNER
STRINGER BELL (9)

Cersei Lannister knows how to manipulate; just as anyone from the Stark family, if you can find one.  Stringer Bell on the other hand, is a sucker.  While West Baltimore is no King’s Landing, Cersei reigns supreme in any domain.
January 16, 2013

Holiday Hangover: Winter’s Bone

Winter’s Bone – Break

We all know Jennifer Lawrence is Hollywood’s new sweetheart, and rightfully so.  She is young, talented, attractive, and someone you would want to hang out with.  She is Julia Roberts without the toothy grin.  She is the girl that all the other girls want to be and all the guys want to be with.  She’s a revelation if you will. When I first got a glimpse of her on the red carpet of the Oscars about two years ago, I really didn’t know what to make of her. She was this young new face with a smart mouth.  Sorry, but I kind of took her for a bitch, like she was too good for the Oscars.  I look at her now, and she is down right adorable and so self-deprecating, it’s irresistible.  I also appreciate the fact that she takes chances, and makes the role her own.  For a perfect example of what made her a star before she became a star was her first major role in 2010’s “Winter’s Bone.”

You can call “Bone” a “White Trash Noir.”  Lawrence plays Ree, a 17-year old girl taking care of her two younger siblings without the help of her drug-affected absentee mother and meth-dealing father.  After her father skips town, she finds out that he put their house up for bond and the whole family could be homeless within a week.  Ree takes it upon herself to track down her father and navigate a neighborhood full of drug dealers, murderers, and crooked cops.

The story is simple, but the themes of innocence lost, family responsibility, and loyalty run deep in this film.  In Lawrence’s portrayal of Ree you can see the reason why she was chosen to be the lead in “The Hunger Games” as Katniss Everdeen.  She is a strong female protagonist, probably the strongest female character I’ve seen in years who isn’t a superhero, but she still has a vulnerability to her as she navigates her dangerous world with two younger siblings in tow.  You want to grab her and tell her to stop in her quest for her father, especially when you see some of the people that she has to deal with in trying to find the answers.

While Lawrence is great, I also have to tip my cap to John Hawkes, who plays crystal meth dealer, and Ree’s uncle, Teardrop.  Think Walter White if he was from rural Arkansas, only scarier.  He’s the last guy that you want to ask help from, and the last guy you want looking for you if a deal went south.  Hawkes is one of those guys that’s in a lot of stuff but he never reallygets credit.  I remember seeing him for the first time as the Liquor Store Clerk in “From Dusk Till Dawn,” and he pops into movies every now and than and leaves an impressions every time.  I like to think of him as the poor man’s Walton Goggins.  Hawkes was nominated for an Oscar for his portrayal in “Bone,” and rightfully so.

If you haven’t already, there’s no reason to not check out “Winter’s Bone.” It’s the genesis of Jennifer Lawrence; where she got her break if you will.  She commands every scene she is in, is a natural, and strikes the perfect balance between tough and fragile.  You never get the sense that she is doing anything for herself, mother or father, she knows that they are all beyond redemption.  Her only care is the welfare of her brother and sister, which in a time where everyone is so wrapped up in their own world, is a welcome relief in film.

Fun Fact:  In the year that “Winter’s Bone” was nominated for Best Motion Picture at the Academy Awards, it had the smallest production budget at only $2 Million, compared to the budget of “Toy Story 3” which was $200 Million, the most expensive film nominated that year.

October 15, 2012

Simplistic TV 31 Nights of Halloween, The Walking Dead, Season Three Premier

The Walking Dead, Season Three Premier – Solid

It’s about damn time AMC gave “The Walking Dead” the money it deserves.  Listen, I know that people love “Mad Men” and “Breaking Bad,” I understand that, but out of the big three shows on AMC the last few years, “The Walking Dead” really got the shaft.  Season two came out of the gates strong, whimpered in the middle, and after AMC found some money to throw at “Dead,” it ended with a bang, literally.  If the first episode of Season Three, entitled “Seed,” is any inclination of what is in store for our survivors, I’d say this is a solid start.

*Keep this in mind while reading further; there might be a few spoilers from last season so if you’re new to “The Walking Dead” I would advise watching the previous two seasons.*

When we last saw our survivors the farm had burned down, Andrea was separated from the group, Rick got the pleasant news that Lori’s baby wasn’t his, and the rest of the group had found out that they were all infected with the “Walker Virus.”  Just another day in the zombie apocalypse.  We pick up roughly six months later with everyone grizzlier, Lori looking a little more pregnant, and Carl looking way older.  The one thing I found interesting, and real cool, was that no one spoke in the first five minutes of the show before the opening credits.  It shows what the group has been through and one of two things; there is a lot of resentment towards Rick after his bombshell at the end of Season Two, or the group knows what it needs to do and verbal communication has gone out of the window.  It was a nice touch and not something you see too often in character-heavy dramas.

This episode is probably one of the goriest episodes to date, with a ton of zombies meeting their demises, again, and a shocker of an ending that I won’t spoil, but I’m sure those who have read the comics (I’m not one of them) might have an idea, but apparently it deviates (cryptic, huh?)

Overall,  this was a solid episode, and it’s certainly planting the “Seed” for things to come.  What will happen to Lori’s baby (zombie baby), what will become of Herschel, who are the armless, jaw-less zombies on a leash, and so much more.

Fun Fact:  Robert Kirkman, the creator of “The Walking Dead” comic series is also a co-owner of Image Comics, known for it’s comic series “Spawn.”

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