Product categories

Cinema and Suds

September 20, 2013

Simplistic Reviews Presents: Cinema and Suds, Munich/ He’Brew Genesis Dry Hopped Session Ale

Ask Dr. Wattley, the main reason to be a Jew is for the jokes.  Also, because the food is pretty good.  Have you ever had brisket with some potato pancakes and a bowl of matzoh ball soup?  Trust me, it’s good.

There is also the case about the supposed “Jew-run media” that everyone complains about, and sure, there are a few people of Jewish descent that have a major say in what happens in Hollywood, but c’mon, we deserve it damn it!

In this Jew-dition of Cinema and Suds, I take Schmaltz Brewing’s He’Brew Genesis Dry Hopped Session Ale, only 5.5% ABV, and enjoy the underrated Steven Spielberg classic, “Munich” and feel some Jewish Pride.

Remember to check out the video above for the full Jew-view.  I love puns…..

September 13, 2013

Simplistic Reviews Presents: Cinema and Suds, Dogma and Weyerbacher Blasphemy Quadruple Ale

Hot topics are something we don’t do too often on Simplistic Reviews, but when something happens we don’t just sit idly by and not interject an opinion.  So here we go; who do you think gives better foot massages?  Vince Vega or Jules Winfield.  But in all seriousness…..who?

I’ll let you sit on that for a few while I get into this edition of Cinema and Suds.  Now, religion is always a hot topic issue.  People either love it or hate it and people usually really hate it when you make funny of their fairy ta…..I mean beliefs.  Some might even call it blasphemy, which brings me to today’s beer.

Blasphemy, by Pennsylvania brewery, Weyerbacher, is a big-time Belgian-style Quadruple (11.8% ABV) aged in whiskey barrels.  Now if that doesn’t help you find Jesus, I’m not sure what will.  So while you’re enjoying this beer of biblical proportions, why not throw in a film of even biblicalalalala proportions (yeah, I just made up that word).  Kevin Smith’s “Dogma” is a searing look at Catholicism that stars some of Hollywood’s biggest stars, and Jason Mewes (I kid, I kid).

So pull out your Buddy Christ (no, not that one), pop open a bottle of Blasphemy, and exercise some demons.  Boy, a foot massage would feel good right about now…..

Enjoy the video companion to this review, and check back every week for another edition of Cinema and Suds.

September 6, 2013

Simplistic Reviews Presents: Cinema and Suds, Back to School and Russian River Redemption Blonde Ale/Founders Dirty Bastard Scotch Ale

When you think of college what do you normally think of?  Well, you might say those all-night study sessions, hours of hanging out in the library, or maybe even haggling your Philosophy professor over that “B” he gave you on your paper about the merits of Buddhism in rural Alabama.  Of course you’re all wrong; it’s those killer keggers at the Alpha Beta Frat House while impregnating sorority girls!

Just imagine if you can live those glory days again, only this time with your dad being Rodney Dangerfield and your best friend being the future Tony Stark.  You get all that, and more, in the comedy classic “Back to School.”  Plus, you get one of the best high diving scenes in cinema history.  Take that “Diving In!”

A reoccurring theme in films where adults go back to school is both where they learn what it it’s like to be young again, and they redeem themselves.  What better beer to enjoy with “Back to School” than Russian River’s Redemption; a golden blonde ale that will make you do a Triple Lindy off the top of the bar.  At a mere 5.15% ABV, the beer is light, but still packs a flavorful punch to the palate.

However, there are times when you’re finished with Redemption and just want to go back to being a bastard, namely a dirty one, so crack open a Founders Dirty Bastard Scotch Ale, an 8.5% ABV brew that will get the frat party started.

So how about it, sit back, relax, pop “Back to School” into your laser disc, crack open a bottle of Redemption and Dirty Bastard (if you can find it) and feel the wrath of Sam Kinison, Satan rest his soul.

Enjoy the video companion to this review, and check back every week for another edition of Cinema and Suds.

August 23, 2013

Simplistic Reviews Presents: Cinema and Suds, 3:10 to Yuma, Jackie Brown, The Perfect Crime Black Smoked Saison

In celebrating the life of Elmore Leonard, it felt appropriate to dedicate this edition of Cinema and Suds to him.  Shoot, if I had it my way I would’ve cracked open a 40 oz of Olde English, but due to the fact that I only have access to 32 oz Olde English bottles, and being a man that still has integrity, I had to resort to what I had.  Sometimes fate smiles upon you with a beer that is so appropriately named that all you can do is go with it.

In this edition of Cinema and Suds, we take two Leonard adaptations and get drunk, well, I get drunk, you can get drunk if you want, I’m not here to live your life.  Anyway, we have the 2007 version of “3:10 to Yuma” starring Christian Bale and Russell Crowe, and the modern classic, “Jackie Brown” from 1997.  The aptly-named beer is “The Perfect Crime” a 2012 collaboration between Stone Brewing, Evil Twin Brewing, and Stillwater Artisanal Ales.  Listed as a Smoked Black Saison, this brew is perfect for planning your next caper, or double-crossing Ordell Robbie.  And don’t let the color fool you, this beer is surprising light, (6.8% ABV) but packs a smokey kick with plenty of funk that you would expect out of a saison.

Enjoy the video companion to this review, and check back every week for another edition of Cinema and Suds.

August 16, 2013

Simplistic Reviews Presents: Cinema and Suds, A Film Quadruple-header and Mamma Mia! Pizza Beer

When I think of pizza I automatically think of beer.  Nothing goes better with a slice of pepperoni and mushroom than an ice cold beer.  We also know that beer goes with movies, but what happens when you combine pizza, beer, and movies?  Episode 2 of Cinema and Suds happens.

What I’m sure started out as a joke, has become a reality for beer and pizza lovers; PIZZA BEER!  Yes, pizza beer, folks.  A beer that tastes and smells like an actual pizza.  You might be thinking; were these people stoned when they came up with the concept to combine pizza and beer into one convenient 16 oz. bottle.  Probably, but you know what else goes great with pizza and beer…..I’ll leave that up to you of course.

So, you got your Mamma Mia! Pizza Beer in your glass (hopefully a wine glass since this is such a classy beer) now it’s time to pick a film.  You could go the safe route and pick “The Godfather” or “Goodfellas” but where’s the fun in that?  You’ve got a damn Pizza Beer in your hand!  Be adventurous, or since you’re already pizza drunk (you might need a few of these since the ABV only clocks in at 4.7%) and don’t care what you’re watching, why not pop in one of these classics, and I have four of them for you today.

Why not start the night with “Date Night” starring Tina Fey and Steve Carell.  Continue on with “Superbad” followed up by “Spaceballs.”  And why not finish up the night with “The Thing” considering the fact that by this time you’ll be talking to Mamma Mia! Pizza Beer asking, “What is this thing?” Or, “How and why did they make this thing?”

Enjoy the video companion to this review, and check back every week for another edition of Cinema and Suds.

Scroll to top
The Simplistic Reviews Shop is now open! Due to COVID-19 shipments are being heavily delayed.  
Holler Box