Corbin Bernsen

July 3, 2018

(Ep. 106): Ring of the Musketeers – Movie Commentary: July 2018

Ring of the Musketeers
PG-13 1992 ‧ Action/Adventure ‧ 1h 26m


As descendants of the original Three Musketeers, Peter Porthos (Thomas Gottschalk), John Smith D’Artagnan (David Hasselhoff) and Anne-Marie Athos (Alison Doody) are continuing the chivalrous tradition of protecting those who can’t protect themselves, carrying it into the modern age. Rather than fighting lords and counts, these Musketeers have the Mafia to deal with, but they’re aided by reformed burglar Burt Aramis (Cheech Marin), the newly knighted fourth Musketeer.

Initial release: December 1, 1992 (Germany)
Director: John Paragon
Production company: Motion Picture Corporation of America
Screenplay: John Paragon, Joel Surnow
Producers:Brad Krevoy, Steven Stabler
Plug that VHS player back in! It time for some David Hasselhoff! That’s right, today we watch the Ring of the Musketeers. A made for TV film that… well… nobody remembers.  But when you have a modern day (90’s) Musketeers film that has a cast that contains the Hoff, Cheech Marin, Alison Doody, John Rhys-Davies, Corbin Bernsen, Timothy Stack, Ricky Jay and Branscombe Richmond. You pretty much stop whatever you are doing and pop this VHS in.
So fix that tracking and enjoy that mono audio (yes this VHS wasn’t in stereo) and repeat, Unus pro omnibus, omnes pro uno! Because we do this together ladies and gents! This is the Simplistic Reviews Movie Commentary of Ring of the Musketeers!

                       

October 26, 2015

The Horror Time Capsule – 1996: The Dentist

The Dentist: SQUIRM
(In the best way)


1996 | Horror | 92 mins 


“It’s Time For Your Final Appointment”

From the Director of Beyond Re-Animator, Bride of Re-Animator, Return of the Living Dead III and Initiation: Silent Night, Deadly Night 4 comes…

The Dentist. A gory of a slasher with the frosting of comedy. The Dentist isn’t a masterpiece by any means but it does entertain. It is a bit goofy in every sense. But the strong part is its ability to make the audience squirm. Using a Dentist as its slasher is already grabbing a majority of people who hate going to the Dentist. Utilizing this with the operation rooms is the best thing of this film.

Breaking teeth, using Clamps, Vices, Fastening in mouths and of course Drills is what makes this film a must watch.

A few minutes in you’ll understand this is unlike most slashers, it’s a over acting 90’s slasher that makes the viewer squirm in their seat. Thats unique because it feels real. 

For an example a puppet spitting up warms isn’t that itching to the spine. But a Dentist knocking out a girl, ripping off her pantyhose, touching and kissing her is.

Watching teeth break is and a man with a transplanted eye from a serial killer isn’t.

The Dentist uses real life events (yes to the extreme) to make us entertained no matter how over the top it may be. The strongest thing a film can do is connect to the viewer and The Dentist nails that.

It a fun watch that does nothing but flat out entertain.

Little Trivia: Early Mark Riffalo appearance

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