Halloween

October 29, 2018

(Ep. 111): The Simplistic Reviews Podcast: October 2018

What could be more spooky then a Simplistic Reviews Spooktastic Podcast? Okay so you could just  turn on the news which is scary enough.

Today, we bring the Halloween to your ears on the 111th episode of… wait this episode is number 111? So I times 111 by 6… 666!!!, Oh my god Gregory Sestero its the mark of the beast! Damn that’s perfect timing or we held off a movie commentary from being released to make a Halloween stupid joke. Nay…not us we aren’t that cheesy.

So let’s all indulge into some candy, laugh, drink and talk about news and some spooky thoughts we had recently as well make fun of those shitty Hollywood scumbags on this episode of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast.

 Boooo!










October 30, 2017

(Ep. 93): Killer Klowns from Outer Space – Movie Commentary: October 2017

Killer Klowns from Outer Space

PG-13  1988 ‧ Science fiction film/Cult film ‧ 1h 28m

When teenagers Mike (Grant Cramer) and Debbie (Suzanne Snyder) see a comet crash outside their sleepy small town, they investigate and discover a pack of murderous aliens who look very much like circus clowns. They try to warn the local authorities, but everyone assumes their story is a prank. Meanwhile, the clowns set about harvesting and eating as many people as they can. It’s not until they kidnap Debbie that Mike decides it’s up to him to stop the clowns’ bloody rampage.
Release date: May 20, 1988 (USA)

What could be better then watching some Killer Klowns this Halloween!? Well with the Simplistic Reviews crew! Join us as we watch a movie that was made to be wacky and goof, yet its still better then half the shit that comes out today! So grab that frankenberry! Pour some of that Halloween themed choice of beer because… this Movie Commentary is gonna scare your socks off!


October 31, 2016

Night of the Slasher

Night of the Slasher – Homage

HOMAGE

A list of things to enjoy in 11 minutes:

-A bowl of soup
-Reading a great article in a magazine
-Taking a good crap
-Watching a YouTube video (hopefully one of ours)
-Having a good wank
-Enjoying the pleasures of another

I mean right there, that’s a pretty good list. But let’s add one more to that list now. Watching the short horror film “Night of the Slasher.”

Now, this is something that I’ve been on the hunt for for a while. It hit the festival circuit pretty hard and gained a loyal following of fans ever since. Now, since the Internet is such a wonderful (but still horrible) invention, anyone who missed it while it did its rounds, can see it in all its HD glory right on Vimeo!

The plot, simply put, puts a young, big-chested, scantily clad young lady in the cross hairs of a Spock-mask wearing slasher as she desecrates the hollowed trinity of slasher movie sins; drink, do drugs, and have sex.

The added gimmick is that the short is filmed all in one take. There are a ton of whip pans throughout the short so I’m skeptical on the technique as those pans would be easy ways to hide an edit or two, but overall the camerawork is neat, the acting is fun, and the overall premise is entertaining and…..fun. It’s a perfect homage for those who grew up on slasher horror of the 1980s. Every cliche is throw into this short and it’s proof positive that Shant Hamassian grew up on this genre.

Do yourself a favor and CLICK HERE, and enjoy “Night of the Slasher.”

October 28, 2016

Ouija: Origin of Evil

   Ouija 2 – Origin of Evil: Enjoyable

2016 ‧ Thriller/Horror ‧ 1h 39m
 
In 1967 Los Angeles, widowed mother Alice Zander (Elizabeth Reaser) unwittingly invites authentic evil into her home by adding a new stunt to bolster her séance scam business. When the merciless spirit overtakes her youngest daughter Doris (Lulu Wilson), the small family must confront unthinkable fears to save her and send her possessor back to the other side.
Release date: October 21, 2016
Director: Mike Flanagan

I don’t really know what to say here but I kinda enjoyed this movie. That’s right, I enjoyed Ouija 2. You know that board game that Universal Pictures made into a movie a few years back? It did somewhat good, despite it being a poor excuse of what qualifies for a movie. It was one of the worst movies I have ever seen and still they decided to make a sequel, and not just a sequel but a time period prequel that Justin somehow enjoyed watching.

“A prequel superior to its predecessor”

Okay. First lets just get this out of the way. Studios are scratching the barrel for ideas that already have somewhat of a foundation. Original ideas are all but lost. Remakes, sequels and re-imagined all but rule at the box offices. And we just had “the worst summer of movies” and the future doesn’t seem like any of this will be changing.

Ouija 2: Origin of Evil recently came out with me not hearing a damn thing about it. It was last Podcast Ep. 77 when we saw a sequel had already been out and the ratings were pretty solid. I was shocked and couldn’t believe this was out. On top of that it was rated extremely better then the first one. A few nights later I was able to leave work early and I decide I would go check it out.

And yes I enjoyed it! Was it the best film a saw in years? No but it was pretty fun to watch. The thing about Ouija 2 is it kinda knows what it is. With the first one everything was taken so serious but here things are a bit more tight and laughed about. In fact there is a couple funny moments in this film that played very well with the audience (Maybe 20 in the showing). It was one of those films where people were yelling out stuff at the crappy moments and laughing at the jokes. Sure the movie isn’t perfect but damn I kinda enjoyed watching it. Let me just state my reason of liking it was do to the fact it was goofy and crew I believe knew right down to the script what this film really would be. The first film thought is was scary, yet it wasn’t and even the bad was nothing to laugh at.

Ouija: Origin of Evil was an enjoying film to watch at the theater. Surprising but a joy to watch. Thumbs up Mike Flanagan!

October 27, 2016

Millennial Horror – 2002 Halloween: Resurrection

Halloween: Resurrection – Sad

SAD

Suffice to say, the “Halloween” franchise has had it’s ups-and-downs. While the 1978 classic is universally revered and beloved for it’s villain and perfection of the “slasher” genre in horror, from “Halloween 2” onward, the luster faded quickly. Personally, I love the “Halloween” franchise despite the degeneration in quality over the years, but nothing could have prepared me for what I would see in the “final” installment of the canon story-line (I’m not counting the Rob Zombie versions). “Halloween: Resurrection” is that special kind of film that will surely leave you wondering, “what in the actual f*ck….”

The easy way to review this film is that while some people might think it’s funny, it’s incredibly cringe-worthy, and the final EPIC fight between Michael Myers and Busta Rhymes (yes, Busta Rhymes) is just sad, sad, and sad. In it’s own way, its now a punching bag for how bad acting and horror had become in 2002.

The only interesting thing about this film is the fate of Jamie Lee Curtis’ Laurie Strode, which is ballsy, but not all that surprising as the series had grown so stale that something drastic had to be done, is the lead thoroughly buried enough for you?

That’s all that can really be said about “Halloween: Resurrection.” It’s just that bad that actually thinking about it just make me want to stop thinking about it….I mean this film was so bad where it was at this point where the decision was made to go through with an entire remake/reboot/re-hash, whatever you want to call it.

The cast is a laughable group of stereotypes that we’ve all seen in numerous other “teen-centric” fare, but Tyra Banks and Busta Rhymes, the zeitgeist at the time, like I’ve said before, put a rapper and/or a model in a horror film, boom, Marketing 101. The film will suck, but at least that first week at the box office will be gangbusters.

You might think, “Wow, Matt loves horror…why is he ripping this movie apart?” Well, just let the clip(s) below marinate and I’ll get back to you on the next review….

October 24, 2016

(Ep. 77): SR Podcast – October 2016

FOR MATURE AUDIENCES

On this spooktacular Halloween episode of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast, the boys discuss everything that goes bump in the night…from Deadpool director woes to a Captain Planet film from Leo. Matthew solves the mystery that is the Madea films. And the boys try to guess each other’s Halloween costumes in a segment we’re calling What Are You Supposed To Be. All that and more on this pumpkin spice latte version of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast.

NOTES
Madea film
Westworld
John Phillips
Pitch
Captain Planet by Leo

MUSIC
Halloween Theme by John Carpenter
It’s The Great Pumpkin Waltz by Vince Guaraldi
Who Can It Be Now by Men At Work 

Check us out on FacebookTwitterYouTubeLetterboxd, and Pinterest
October 7, 2016

Ep. 75: Beware! Children at Play – Movie Commentary: October 2016

Welcome to another Friday Night Family Movie Night!

 Beware! Children at Play

1hr 34mins | Horror | 1989

Well that happened…

DJ and Justin just watched Beware Children at Play. And…Well…It’s not so great. It is a slow boring movie that only picks up right at the end. Sure the topic of murdering demoniac crazy children is a fun idea to use in a movie but if you don’t do anything with it then its pretty lousy. Hopefully the movie next time is a bit more enjoyable to watch, because even though this trailer looked amazing, the final product was just lame.

🙂

June 24, 2016

Trailer Hot Take: 31

Hey folks. Haven’t done one of these in a while, mainly because there hasn’t been anything that’s tickled my fancy. Now comes the long-awaited, at least for one, first trailer for Rob Zombie’s latest, “31.” Take your fear of clowns, “House of 1000 Corpses,” mix it with the cult video game “Manhunt” and you pretty much see how this film is going to pan out

  
Just look at that creepy title card, sets the tone
The contestants of 31
Malcom McDowell in his best Marquis de Sade get-up
Plenty of creepy clowns, maybe even a Hitler clown?
I could talk about the gore, but some of these shots are works of art
It all just puts a smile on your face, and remember, in Hell, everybody loves popcorn
“31” will be heading to VOD in September, and will hopefully be on the big screen sometime in October.
October 31, 2015

SR Podcast (Ep. 57) “Happy” Halloween 3: Season of the Witch: October 2015

Happy Halloween!

Today is Halloween and to celebrate we figured what would be a better way then with the very unappreciated but great…

Halloween 3: Season of the Witch
98 mins | Horror | 1982
FOR MATURE AUDIENCES


The gang gathers around for this Halloween film that doesn’t feature Micheal Myers but does feature but not limited to, Killer Halloween Masks! Commercialization of the Halloween! Witchcraft! Androids! Shamrocks! and Tom mofo Atkins! It’s a spooky film for a spooky day…now if only we could drink a McDonald’s Shamrock Shake with a hit of whiskey that would make this day even better!

October 28, 2015

The Horror Time Capsule – 1999: House on Haunted Hill

MISUNDERSTOOD

House on Haunted Hill – Misunderstood

I’m not sure why there are certain films that take hold of me, especially universally panned films, that have such a lasting impression on me. I guess I’m the inverted horror movie hipster. While people will always hold Dario Argento and any type of obscure Hungarian and Spanish horror director in high regard, I love schlock and appreciate horror that is not only all that good, but just plan bad. This brings me to the remake of the William Castle classic “House on Haunted Hill.” This 1999 remake is the first film from the Dark Castle brand, that was started by super star producers Joel Silver and  director Robert Zemekis, who you might also remember had a huge hand in the creation of the “Tales from the Crypt” TV series.

“House” follows a similar story to it’s predecessor, however it includes the backstory of the titular “House on Haunted Hill” which was an insane asylum that housed a maniacal doctor who performed heinous experiments on the inmates until there was a revolt and everyone was murdered and the asylum burnt down.

Years later, eccentric theme park owner, Steven Price, wants to throw a party for his wife at the “House” that includes several of her friends, but by some work of evil, the invitations are changed and all new guests are invited, most of whom are connected by some wicked twist of fate.

There are a few things I like about this film, actually, I think the good certainly outweighs the bad for me. First, it’s funny to me that the roller coaster they use for Price’s newest creation, is actually the “Incredible Hulk” roller coaster at Islands of Adventure in Florida, a roller coaster I know all too well. I also love all the subtle nods to the Castle original, and the over-the-top performances, especially from Geoffery Wright who sells it so well as Steven Price. Lastly, the monster effects are awesome, and remind me a lot of the monsters in “Silent Hill,” but what could you expect from Greg Nicotero.

Sure, when you get down to it, this is a genre film, and it has flaws, but that doesn’t make it bad. For a genre fan, and a relative poopoo’er on remakes, this one holds up and is super entertaining.

You have been invited…..to check out these other gems from 1999:

The Blair Witch Project
Deep Blue Sea
End of Days
The Haunting
Lake Placid
The Mummy
Ravenous
Sleepy Hollow
Stir of Echoes

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