Horror

October 31, 2018

Blood Feast

Blood Feast is fundamental in a handful of ways. Released in 1963 I can only imagine the effect this had on horror and comedy. For me this was the film that allowed me to enter the world of cheesy explicit gore and violence. To laugh and be in awe, it was then I found a calling.
October 3, 2018

31 Films of Halloween: Hereditary

Hereditary isn’t a perfect film. There are slow paced moments that drag on way to long and cheap tricks used to scare you. But from beginning to the end I was entertained more then I thought I would be going into it. Highlight is the cast with a great audio design and mix.  
August 2, 2018

Uncle Sam

So you may have notice we did a movie commentary on Uncle Sam and if you didn’t well I guess shameless plug for us. But honestly you can’t get more American then this film. What other country can you finance a film about it’s patriotic symbol and have him murder people on that country’s birthday. Uncle Sam is a crappy film but that’s okay. It’s the perfect entertainment to enjoy with the freedoms we get when some in other parts of the world don’t. Uncle Sam a stupid slasher film that fills the appetite.
July 31, 2018

(Ep. 108): Uncle Sam – Movie Commentary: July 2018

Uncle Sam

R 1996 ‧ Slasher/Horror ‧ 1h 30m
A Gulf War veteran rises from the dead to wreak vengeance upon unpatriotic residents of his hometown.
Initial release: 1996
Director: William Lustig
Release date: 1996 (Greece)
Budget: 2 million USD
Screenplay: Larry Cohen

Because you asked for it, here it is… Uncle Sam! 

The classic blockbuster video rental slasher is a great way to celebrate America’s birthday! Nothing like some patriotic killing to make us American hard. Okay children grab that flag and those sparklers, bite into your U.S. grade hamburgers and pop in Uncle Sam…This is Simplistic Reviews Movie Commentary!

May 9, 2018

(Ep. 103): House 2: The Second Story – Movie Commentary: May 2018

House II: The Second Story

PG-13 1987 ‧ Adventure/Horror ‧ 1h 28m
A man (Arye Gross) and his friend (Jonathan Stark) exhume an ancestor (Royal Dano) in the house 
where his parents were killed.
Initial release: August 28, 1987
Director: Ethan Wiley
Budget: 3 million USD
Production company: New World Pictures
 
Well you can’t say we don’t love you. Today Matt and Justin watch a movie from the Lister requested submissions. Sometimes we find fun and enjoyable films, that ether we never watched or never heard of. But that isn’t always the case. Ep. 103 we cross off another one, House 2: The Second Story. A film not watched by the two in a collective 30 plus years. What we found out is its not as good as we once remembered.

House 2 is under the horror genre which is a lie. Eventhough it is a sequel to the 1986 film House, House 2 does not involve the storyline and character from the first film, including the horror feel. House 2 is supernatural fantasy “comedy”. 

Frankly its a mess of a film. If you haven’t already watched the first House then skip this and check House.


December 17, 2017

(Ep. 95): Elves – Movie Commentary: December 2017

Elves

R

1989 ‧ Drama/Horror ‧ 1h 29m

_________________________________________________________________________________

A department-store Santa Claus (Dan Haggerty) discovers a Neo-Nazi plot to mate a nice girl (Julie Austin) with an elf in Colorado.

Release date:  October 24, 1989
Director: Jeffrey Mandel
Screenplay: Jeffrey Mandel
Music composed by: Vladimir Horunzhy

That time of the year is back when the gang sits around and watches nothing but terrible holiday themed movies.

Today is not only our first appearance of Dan Haggerty here at Simplistic Reviews but also a ending for a movie that flabbergasted DJ. I suppose this would already be enough for a Movie Commentary but nope…that’s not all. We also have a homeless department store Santa investigating a modern-day Neo-Nazi plot to finally bring about the master race that Hitler had always dreamed of.

Instead of a race of pure-blood Aryans, it is revealed that Hitler dreamed of a race of half-human/half-elf hybrids.

Yep… what a movie everyone. So grab that egg nog and sit back, things are about to get weird.

Merry Christmas!

P.S. Enjoy the Elves because next week is a cold one set on a tropical island. Try not to question it.

   

October 30, 2017

(Ep. 93): Killer Klowns from Outer Space – Movie Commentary: October 2017

Killer Klowns from Outer Space

PG-13  1988 ‧ Science fiction film/Cult film ‧ 1h 28m

When teenagers Mike (Grant Cramer) and Debbie (Suzanne Snyder) see a comet crash outside their sleepy small town, they investigate and discover a pack of murderous aliens who look very much like circus clowns. They try to warn the local authorities, but everyone assumes their story is a prank. Meanwhile, the clowns set about harvesting and eating as many people as they can. It’s not until they kidnap Debbie that Mike decides it’s up to him to stop the clowns’ bloody rampage.
Release date: May 20, 1988 (USA)

What could be better then watching some Killer Klowns this Halloween!? Well with the Simplistic Reviews crew! Join us as we watch a movie that was made to be wacky and goof, yet its still better then half the shit that comes out today! So grab that frankenberry! Pour some of that Halloween themed choice of beer because… this Movie Commentary is gonna scare your socks off!


July 17, 2017

George Romero……In Memorium

Every genre of film has their captain; Steven Spielberg invented the Hollywood Blockbuster, George Lucas crafted the most important science fiction film of all time, John Ford, and Sergio Leone, made some of the most important westerns of all time, and when you look back at the history of horror, of course you’ll always think of John Carpenter and Wes Craven, but it’s safe to say that George Romero will always been the man who brought horror to the masses and created an actual conversation about class warfare and racism all because of a movie about zombies walking the Earth in 1968’s “Night of the Living Dead.”

While many will always remember Romero for his work on “Night,” “Dawn of the Dead,” and “Day of the Dead,” I will always and forever go to “Creepshow” as my all time favorite. It combined my love of comics and horror and wrapped them into five nearly perfect stories. You had zombies, monsters, aliens, and bugs, not to mention a cast of actors you wouldn’t expect in a genre piece, but nonetheless gave it their all, and it creates the perfect horror anthology.

I’d say Rest in Peace in George, but we all know he wouldn’t want that.

March 6, 2017

Movie Review: Get Out

*This is a pretty spoiler-free review that leaves a lot to be debated about.*

A lot of you know that I’m a horror guy. But these days there really isn’t much to offer outside the possession, found footage, creepy ghosts sub-genre. I feel like I’m beating a dead horse every time I say that, and I say it so often it’s exhausting, but it needs to be said. Unfortunately Jason Blum has tapped into something that people love and keep coming back to for some reason. The irony doesn’t escape me that “Get Out” is a Blumhouse Production. Sometimes you just have to put your hate on the side burner.

As far as a film that combines high concepts, social commentary, and elements of horror and thriller alike, you’re not going to get much better than “Get Out.” Not to mention the fact that it makes white people uncomfortable to talk about is an added bonus. Most reviews coming out are about how the film is great, injects something special into the horror genre, yada yada yada. But I guess the thing at this point is that talking about the plot could spoil the intentions of the film and the sizable reveal in the 3rd Act.

So here’s the long and short of “Get Out.” Chris has been going out with Rose for a few months, so naturally the next step for Chris is to meet Rose’s parents. Chris and Rose load up and head out of town for a weekend in the country with her family, the Armitages’. What follows is a weekend that shows the sinister intentions of the family, despite their demure social front and fondness of being worldly liberals who would have voted for Barack Obama a third time.

You can sum this film up to the friend that you know, who is white, that feels he understands the condition of minorities by trying to relate with them at a base level, ie, taking an accent with their speech, telling them you would have voted for their leaders again, etc. Speaking from the white perspective, I’ll never understand the plight of someone who is Afro-American, Latino, Asian, Native American, and so on, understanding isn’t the key, the key is letting them explain their situation without the injection of white-splaning. Also, just because you have friends who aren’t white doesn’t give you the ability to understand. As a white person you’ll never understand the struggle.

Now that I got that out of the way, what is there to like about “Get Out?” Tons!

Peele has created something that while not pure horror, is the horror story of our time, especially for any non-white. It’s also a slow burn to a nice 2nd act twist that while you might have seen coming, when it does hit, it’s a true kick in the face. But the most interesting thing might be who you actually TALK TO about the twist. From the white perspective, you might hear an audible gasp, or a “wow, that’s crazy.” If you ask anyone who isn’t white, you’ll likely hear, “I knew it.” or “that’s fucked up.” That’s because it is fucked up, but it might also be a fact that white people wouldn’t believe a white person would do something like that, and in there lies why we still have a lot to do in terms of race relations and how we perceive our own race and the lengths, and depths, they are willing to go.

There is also some humor sprinkled in with what some people are calling the best supporting character in modern times in Rod, Chris’ friend that works for the TSA, played by LilRel Howery. He’s a great character that is self-aware of the situation that Chris is in, intelligent, but also looked down upon when he presents evidence about the trouble his friend is in; by the police no less. It’s just another thing to remind you of the times we live in, or what’s been going on for the between part of the last century.

“Get Out” is a film best served re-visiting at least twice, maybe even three times. Sure, the “twist” is gone upon multiple viewings, but the journey to how it gets there can get lost in the details. The Armitage estate is surrounded in mystery, and relics from other countries and cultures are scattered around the house. A conversation early in the film between Chris and Rose’s father. Dean, sets the tone of the family’s legacy and even gives a “what-if” if history was just a little different. It’s actually pretty chilling.

Considering I’m staying as spoiler-free as possible, I’m going to stop this review right here, But the point is that this film will appeal to the passive viewers as just a straight up psychological horror film but if you want something with a little more meat on it’s bones and something to say, “Get Out” is the first great film of 2017.

November 2, 2016

The People Under the Stairs

The People Under the Stairs: Unique

R

 1991 ‧ Mystery/Thriller ‧ 1h 42m

 Trailer

When young Fool (Brandon Adams) breaks into the home of his family’s greedy and uncaring landlords, he discovers a disturbing scenario where incestuous adult siblings have mutilated a number of boys and kept them imprisoned under stairs in their large, creepy house. As Fool attempts to flee before the psychopaths can catch him, he meets their daughter, Alice (A.J. Langer), who has been spared any extreme discipline by her deranged parents. Can Fool and Alice escape before it’s too late?
Release date: November 1, 1991
Director: Wes Craven
It’s time for something to help out that Halloween hangover you have. Best way is to watch, The People Under the Stairs!
The People Under the Stairs is one of Wes Craven’s most interesting and unique films. This is a film that should be seen by any movie buff. The creativity alone makes this film a must see for anyone. I first saw The People Under the Stairs when I was around 14. It left a very good impression on me, one that would sneak up in the back of my mind every now and then. This year for Halloween I just had to watch it, there isn’t anything close to it.

“This is the perfect film to explain how uncreative hollywood has gotten. I only wish films this unique still came out in theaters today.”

I do not want to talk a dime about the film.
If you never saw it, trust me its best to go in blind.
The People Under the Stairs is a crazy good film. It’s entertaining right to the last frame. Be warned it does go out of this world wacky but that only adds to the uniqueness to a film that is as highly entertaining as this.

Go check it out if you can! 

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