Margot Robbie

May 15, 2018

DJ Rambles About Terminal

WASTE

What exactly…is Terminal?  No, no…that wasn’t some highfalutin or artsy attempt to start this review.  I seriously don’t know what this film is.  Is it an exercise in the limits of neon lighting cinematography?  Is it another neo-noir vehicle starring Margot Robbie that stumbles at the starting gate and never fully recovers? (I see you Suicide Squad) Is it a love letter to an era where Hollywood spit out movies like this seemingly every week, but comes closer to being a love letter written using cut out pieces of various periodicals, making the reader/viewer feel uncomfortable and frightened?  It is likely all of those things.  In short…though longer than our one word review…Terminal is a cavalcade of mistakes, wheel-spinning WASTES of time trying to masquerade as crafty foreshadowing, and performances given by actors I love that bounce around in tone and coherence like an annoying child’s pink rubber ball.  What is this film?

Terminal stars the aforementioned Margot Robbie along with the great Simon Pegg, Mike Myers, and Guy Ritchie vet, Dexter Fletcher.  It is about a femme fatale named Annie, played by Robbie, as she manipulates several seedy characters into playing a dangerous game of sex, death, and double-crosses.  It comes to us from writer/director Vaughn Stein from…from…well…nothing really. (At best I could find was Third Assistant Director for World War Z.  Yeah, that’s a thing.)  I’m doing my best to avoid spoiling a plot that, if you see Terminal, will likely frustrate you into wondering why I even bothered.

I remember after Pulp Fiction became a cultural phenomena in the mid ’90s, copy cat films sprung up like wild fire trying to capture the same magic.  Terminal feels like one of those films.  Not Things To Do In Denver When You’re Dead or Go type quality.  More like The Big Hit and 2 Days In The Valley type quality.  The overly written dialogue with segues that seem innocuous until later.  The twists that feel more confusing and convoluted than clever.  The hyper-stylized visuals used to distract from the lack of substance.  The overly heavy-handed symbolism regarding a previous work of fiction.  I’m sure the early twenties version of me might have had the DVD of Terminal in my dorm room and plopped it on after coming home from some drunken rager.  It might have even garnered a cult following like some of those films over the years due to nostalgic blinders.  However, the older me, the one that kinda sees the strings a little better, just watched Terminal with this apropos expression on my face:

To Terminal’s credit, there is a literal side mission, in terms of the plot, that involves Simon Pegg’s character that comes off as vaguely interesting.  If only it were the entire plot of the film.  If it were expanded to be all of Terminal, leaving aside the main cat and mouse hitman mystery, this might have been something.  But before you know it, the side mission ends and we are thrust back into a main plot that makes little to no sense and amasses little to no interest.

Margot Robbie has recently proven with I, Tonya that she brings more to the table than roles like this.  This is paint by numbers for her in this, with little to no meat for her to chew on that she hasn’t devoured before in better stuff.  I appreciated that Mike Myers seemed to want to branch out of comedy and take some roles that showed off all of his talents.  This role is hardly it.  Simon Pegg is always charismatic and fun to watch.  However, despite an interesting story arc, I think Pegg is terribly miscast in this film even taking into account his chemistry with Robbie.  If he had, again, some more room to expand and grow this character, you might buy where his character goes…but he doesn’t and you don’t.  Dexter Fletcher and Max Irons (son of Jeremy inexplicably) are saddled with such disposable material, it’s hard for me to remember anything about their characters other than they are British and have the lion share of the f-bombs.

Terminal is a WASTE.  A WASTE of talent, time, and effort to apparently tap into a type of filmmaking of the past that is best suited to staying in its era.  If you watch it, I’ll bet it is going to be hard for you to tell me I’m wrong.

December 11, 2016

(Ep. 79): Suicide Squad – Extended Cut – Movie Commentary: December 2016

Suicide Squad – Extended Cut

2 hours, 14 minutes

Seriously? Yes I don’t know why but we did another WB extended-we-don’t-give-you-the-full-movie-the-first-time-cut.

What to say about a poorly made film. I mean a 8 year old with iMovie could do a better editing job.

And I feel bad for bringing the 8 year old this luckluster piece of crap.

DJ says it the best. “This is the biggest disappointment of the year”.

So we know you really do not want to watch this film again but hell we gave it a try. So this Sunday Funday Movie Night lets give it a GO!

All Board the WB shitliner one more time!
This time the
S. S. We fooled you again…HAHAHA (Shitty Joker laugh)
Don’t worry, this time we have Ted Lange as Your Bartender!  
Suicide Squad
It feels good to be bad…Assemble a team of the world’s most dangerous, incarcerated Super Villains, provide them with the most powerful arsenal at the government’s disposal, and send them off on a mission to defeat an enigmatic, insuperable entity. U.S. intelligence officer Amanda Waller has determined only a secretly convened group of disparate, despicable individuals with next to nothing to lose will do. However, once they realize they weren’t picked to succeed but chosen for their patent culpability when they inevitably fail, will the Suicide Squad resolve to die trying, or decide it’s every man for himself?

A secret government agency, led by the ruthless, high-ranking official Amanda Waller, recruits some of the most dangerous, incarcerated villains on the planet to execute dangerous black ops missions and save the world from a potentially apocalyptic threat from a mysterious, supernatural entity. If anything goes wrong on this mission, the government will not be liable but rather can place the blame on the villains, who are inherently evil people. A small bomb is implanted in each member of the squad’s neck with the capability of detonating any time one of the members tries to rebel or escape. It will be up to this assembled team of villains to prevail over the seemingly impossible events that will unfold before them, in what many deem to be a “suicide mission”.

September 5, 2016

3 Simplistic Things: August 2016

Oh hai August….another month, another 3 Simplistic Things to go over in the Dog Days of Summer. So, Here…we….go….

Suicidal Tendencies
Despite the bad reviews, Suicide Squad continues to make money. Sure, there are plenty of shortcomings with this film, which I really don’t have enough time to get into right now, but you can’t argue with that fact that people like a train wreck and close-ups of Margot Robbie’s ass.
The Night Of…
The age of TV neo-noir continues with another slick HBO series that captivates the Internet. “The Night Of” is simply wonderful and features a performance that should win John Turturro an Emmy, Golden Globe, and any other type of award someone could win for being the best.

If You Want to View Paradise…

Bidding farewell to a Doctor, a Producer, a Cowboy, and a Dream Maker…

Until next month….kthnxbye
December 29, 2013

The Wolf Of Wall Street

DEBAUCHERY

 I have previously joked about how I’d watch the trailer to Martin Scorsese’s The Wolf Of Wall Street in the morning because visually it was like doing a line of cocaine.  Little did I know that the feature length film would be the best example of truth in advertising since Pacific Rim.  The Wolf Of Wall Street is literally a three hour high, filled with every form of despicable DEBAUCHERY, decadence and self-destructive devilishness you could possibly think of.  This film was easily one of the most anticipated films of the year on our site, and I can confidently say that it lived up to every expectation.  Is it a perfect film?  Not necessarily.  But it is unquestionably a must see film.  Hell, I could end the review right there.  For the skeptics still unconvinced, allow me to talk about some of the aspects of The Wolf Of Wall Street that surely make it great.

The story?  Based on the autobiographical novel, The Wolf Of Wall Street tells the tumultuous life story of stock broker slimeball Jordan Belfort.  This film and Michael Bay’s film Pain & Gain tell two stories that will shock you with their hilariously absurd events.  Then shock you even further when you discover that so many of those events were absolutely true.  It is closer to being a modern day remake of Caligula than a story about the stock market.  I give the real Jordan Belfort credit for still allowing the darker parts of his life to remain in the film and not be played up for laughs.  Although, you never really hate the guy even after you see them.

The structure?  The film has been shorthanded into the familiar Scorsese format, leading people to quickly describe it as the Goodfellas version of Wall Street.  And…well…it is.  Writer Terence Winter practically admitted as much.  For as herky jerky of a style it is, this format always seems to work for Scorsese and be entertaining enough for the audience to forgive it.  Much in the way audiences did for The Departed.  I bring up the structure because it may be the only criticism I can find in this film.  When it is all said and done, The Wolf Of Wall Street may only be remembered as just a collection of jaw droppingly great scenes instead of a well crafted story.  The Lemmon Quaalude scene, the goldfish scene, the midget parameters scene, the yacht chop scene, and every scene where Leo delivers a stump speech to his troops.  After seeing the film, however, I can’t imagine the story being told any other way.  The structure sets the fast pace and humorous tone this film needed.

The performances?  Are you kidding?  Even if you are one of those inexplicably strange Leo detractors, you’ll still be in love with the job he does as the wolf Jordan Belfort.  The enthusiastic vulnerability DiCaprio consistently displays in his roles continues to make me appreciate him as an actor.  His co-star Jonah Hill steals literally EVERY scene he’s in, which is a tough task for a film like this.  His performance is something deserving of an award, but will probably fall short of acclaim like his stellar one in Moneyball.  Virtual newcomer Margot Robbie holds her own with both of them.  She is the Lorraine Bracco of this film and is no less brilliant.  Honestly, every actor in this film knocks it out of the park, no matter the amount of screentime they get.  Matthew McConaughey is amazing again.  Jean Dujardin, who I didn’t even know was in this film, is terrific.  Kyle Chandler shines in the first role I’ve seen him have fun in.  Jon Bernthal is thankfully a long ways away from his Shane days.  Rob Reiner, Jon Favreau, Joanne Lumley, P.J. Byrne and countless others hit every note they need to perfectly.  

The Wolf Of Wall Street is a fiery car accident you can’t look away from.  No, it’s a seedy fling with your ex girlfriend after you both came to the agreement that you’re bad for one another.  No, it’s an insane night on the town with your more irresponsible high school buddies that ends in the police drunk tank.  Who am I kidding?  It’s a cinematic drug high.  The rush of the hit and the crushing darkness of the side effects.  And with all these metaphors aside, it is a truly excellent film that is well worth your time.  Sell me this pen…go downstairs and get the ‘ludes…remember your safe word…watch it…exhale and wipe your brow afterwards…then tell me I’m wrong.

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