Morgan Freeman

April 5, 2015

The Simplistic Reviews Podcast (Ep. 43) April 2015

FOR MATURE AUDIENCES

Play-Doh!  YA Vamp movies! Good Friday & Passover Combined!  Get ready for the most eclectic episode of The Simplistic Reviews Podcast yet.  Justin and DJ finally pay their debts to Matthew by finally reviewing Vampire Academy.  And by reviewing…we mean trashing the hell out of it.  They also discuss how Fox does something right with Deadpool…then something way, way wrong with Play-Doh.  They also get their Artful Dodger on with the return of the segment Get Your Hand Out My Pocket.  Guard your jewels in this Holy edition of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast.

 SHOW NOTES
Play-Doh
Vampire Academy
Mad Max: Fury Road
Spectre
Best of Pennywise
Deadpool April Fools
We’re No Angels

MUSIC NOTES
My Flows Is Tight By Lord Digga
We Gotta Get Out Of This Place By The Animals
Birds And Brass By Sort Of Soul
Plain Jane By Sid Phillips

February 1, 2015

The Simplistic Reviews Podcast (Ep. 37) February 2015


FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY

In this Super Bowl Edition of The Simplistic Reviews Podcast, we…um…don’t talk about the Super Bowl.  We do talk to Dan Clark from The Talking In Circles Podcast.  Dan gives us his take on Pratt possibly being cast as Indiana Jones. In exchange for his well thought out analysis the boys force him to share deep dark secrets about himself on a segment we like to call Simply Ashamed.  DJ reveals how he lost his one true love, Matt reveals a hidden musical talent, and all three of them take great pleasure in the absurdity of the film Lean On Me.  All this and more on this Super Bowl/Non Super Bowl Edition of The Simplistic Reviews Podcast

SHOW NOTES
MUSIC NOTES
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April 20, 2013

OBLIVION

OBLIVION: Predictable

126mins/Action/2013

Story: Without getting into spoilers, do to the fact I could easy ruin the film for you, I’m just gonna say it’s pretty predictable. Way too predictable in the sense before every corner in the story, you will predict everything. Which of course hurts the film. The story is okay, really its just okay, sure it’s better then most in this genre and has a bit of originality to it, but we seen stuff like this before. The ending has issues and at times the story feels weak. The best parts for me is the music and the look of this film. The story does have twist and turns but when it happens you most likely figured it out for yourself. For me I kept saying, “Well okay that’s what I thought”. Is it good? Yes it is with all the issues its diffidently one of the better films this year.

Olga Kurylenko (Julia) – Weak. The character and not the actress. The character feels like the writers just didn’t give the effort when writing her as like the others (mostly like Victoria who is awesome sauce).
Morgan Freeman (Malcolm Beech) – Well yep he’s pretty damn awesome like every time we watch him. 
Music (M83) – My favorite part. Listen I’ve been a BIG fan for years now and always wanted to see the band do a score for a film. And at times during the film,  I would  just fall back into my chair listening to the score.
Tom Cruise (Jack Harper) – He’s Tom Cruise in this film…again. I kinda would like to have seen some one else but he did good, even at 50.

Joseph Kosinski (Director, Producer, Screenplay, Story) – The guy knows his stuff. When Tron Legacy came out, it brought a smile to my face. He took us to a world that I just haven’t seen or felt in awhile. The guy did that on his first film, his FIRST! This is only his second film, and I feel the guy just knows his stuff more then most, who have been at it far longer. Visually and musically the guy kills it.

Side-note: Apparently all the sky images you see in the film, according to the director, he photographed them himself and is not CGI! That’s what I like to see and hear!

March 25, 2013

Olympus Has Fallen

IMPLAUSIBLE

Really?  Really??  You got to be kidding me…I’m…sorry, I should be professional here.  However, I’m literally slack-jawed after watching Olympus Has Fallen.  Dumbstruck.  Flabbergasted.  At a loss.  Flummoxed.  Perplexed.  Confused.  Baffled.  My shoulder and neck hurt after having tilted my head to the side at the countless IMPLAUSIBLE and ridiculous moments in this film.  And I expected it!  I…I just can’t.  Okay, let me gather myself.  (Whew!)  Olympus Has Fallen is the Antoine Fuqua directed….WAIT…Fuqua directed this!?  The man behind one of my favorite films Training Day directed this mockery?!?  Tyler Perry makes a film a month and Fuqua gets stuck with crap stains like this?  Sorry, sorry.  Olympus Has Fallen is the…(gulp)…Antoine Fuqua directed film about a Korean attack on American soil.  Sound familiar?  Well it should.  Because you just got through NOT seeing the same concept in the abysmal Red Dawn remake.  Oh..oh this time it is the White House, not rural America.  That’ll make it better.  NO!  No.  It doesn’t.

How does the White House….THE MOST secured building IN THE WORLD get taken over you ask?

(SPOILER ALERT)

An airplane with more countermeasures than a Transformer and the most organized attacking force I’ve ever seen in my entire life.  Seriously.  The Red Skull and Loki both wielding the cosmic cube couldn’t organize an attack this precise and infallible.  Patton himself running Skynet robots couldn’t pull off an attack this perfect.  At one point I thought the entire population of downtown DC was just armed North Korean terrorists.  They come out of nowhere and just happened to ALL get mere feet away from, again…THE MOST SECURED BUILDING IN THE WORLD.  The supposed secret service decide the best way to stop a bunch of terrorist firing at them with a .50 cal is to just walk directly into the gunfire, bullets be damned.  If it was revealed later that this film was produced by the government in order to get the North Koreans to attempt something this stupid and IMPLAUSIBLE in order to legitimize us kicking their asses then nuking them, I’d buy it.

(END OF SPOILERS)

Look, I try my best not to spoil movies here on the site.  However, I find it to be irresponsible of me as a human being not to prepare you for whats in store if you do plan on seeing this film.  And for those saying that this is like Die Hard in the White House…Like DIE HARD in any shape, form, or F*%KING capacity…shame on you.  Shame…on…you.  You need to slap yourself in the face three times, genuflect to the awesomeness that is John McClane, put in Die Hard, then write a ten page apology letter to Bruce Willis and John McTiernan (In prison) for ever uttering Die Hard in the same paragraph as Olympus Has Fallen.

The acting in this is over the top.  It is cliched and wooden.  It is paint by numbers.  How can a film this stereotypically bad garner talent like Aaron Eckhart, Morgan Freeman, Angela Bassett, and…well Gerard Butler does anything nowadays.  When Sly and his Expendables do films like these, we eat it up because they are being ironic and nostalgically nodding to their earlier classics.  There are no expectations of weight to the performances.  But when you start sprinkling in Academy Award nominees in a film like this, it feels like you just caught them slumming it with some alleyway street walker on the LA strip at three in the morning.  They are all better than this.  Even you Butler.

Olympus Has Fallen is a big budget film that still has a direct to DVD feel.  All the stars and horribly CGIed fireworks they throw at it still can’t polish this turd of a film.  If you watch it…brace yourself…then try to tell me I’m wrong.

(Sigh) Well, at least this will probably be the last film using this stupid White House under siege plot for a while.  (SUDDENLY HANDED A PIECE OF PAPER) I’ve just been informed that a film in June starring Jaime Foxx and Channing Tatum will be about the White House under siege.  And it will be directed by Roland Emmerich.

I’m moving to Canada.

December 9, 2012

The Simplistic Reviews Podcast: November 2012

Welcome all to the inaugural Simplistic Reviews Podcast.  This is something that we had been planning for a while, and we finally got it done.  This edition we talk James Bond, namely, his newest adventure “Skyfall,” and remember some of his greatest villains and which James Bond theme song speaks to us.  Not in that creepy way that your uncle used to when he was drunk during Thanksgiving.

We also talk TV, where DJ explains why “Arrow” is his newest guilty pleasure, Justin talks about balls dropping, and why Jewish people aren’t allowed to watch “Mad Men,” while Matt asks “Why is AMC so stupid!”

We also wonder “What is it about Ghost Dad that gets our motors revving?” And “What was Morgan Freeman really doing during his voice over sessions on “March of the Penguins?”

All this and more on The Simplistic Reviews Podcast for November 2012.

Click on the link below to download the podcast and enjoy folks!
FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY.

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