Movie Commentary

October 25, 2016

CUTTING ROOM FLOOR – From Podcast Ep. 76

A clip cut from Podcast Ep. 76 ends up on the CUTTING ROOM FLOOR!
Podcast 76

Hey everyone! Welcome to another Movie Commentary. Halloween is creeping up on us so we’re continuing with some more movies about murdering. Only this time its a grown man trapped into the workings of a children’s doll. (Cue Disney themed music)

Whats that?! Another bloody movie commentary that involves children? Yeah we know. Listen we didn’t plan this out, it was purely random. But hey guess what? Luck is on our side because Child’s Play 2 is a million times better then that last one, especially in story structure.

So sit back and watch out for that old toy you forgot about in your closet. You know the one that you witness a man doing black magic on when Dad and you went to the bank that one time. Sure you remember, don’t you? You know when the cops came and shot up the place? And as he pulled his bullet riddled-bloody body, he knew the only way to live was to transport his soul into your favorite toy?

No…why would you…that was me.


October 21, 2016

(Ep.76): Child’s Play 2 – Movie Commentary: Oct 2016

Child’s Play 2 

Play trailer on YouTube

1990 Slasher/Thriller1h 24m  

Movie Commentary Friday! (Is that a thing?)
Hey everyone! Welcome to another Movie Commentary. Halloween is creeping up on us so we’re continuing with some more movies about murdering. Only this time its a grown man trapped into the workings of a children’s doll. (Cue Disney themed music)
Whats that?! Another bloody movie commentary that involves children? Yeah we know. Listen we didn’t plan this out, it was purely random. But hey guess what? Luck is on our side because Child’s Play 2 is a million times better then that last one, especially in story structure.
So sit back and watch out for that old toy you forgot about in your closet. You know the one that you witness a man doing black magic on when Dad and you went to the bank that one time. Sure you remember, don’t you? You know when the cops came and shot up the place? And as he pulled his bullet riddled-bloody body, he knew the only way to live was to transport his soul into your favorite toy?
No…why would you…that was me.

October 7, 2016

Ep. 75: Beware! Children at Play – Movie Commentary: October 2016

Welcome to another Friday Night Family Movie Night!

 Beware! Children at Play

1hr 34mins | Horror | 1989

Well that happened…

DJ and Justin just watched Beware Children at Play. And…Well…It’s not so great. It is a slow boring movie that only picks up right at the end. Sure the topic of murdering demoniac crazy children is a fun idea to use in a movie but if you don’t do anything with it then its pretty lousy. Hopefully the movie next time is a bit more enjoyable to watch, because even though this trailer looked amazing, the final product was just lame.

🙂

July 4, 2016

Ep. 71: Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice – Ultimate Edition – Movie Commentary: July 2016

Batman V Superman

 2016 | Superhero | 181 minutes

Today on this 4th of July we fight a 3hr war, one we thought we would lose. But we made it through all 3hrs of Zack Snyder’s poor choices to bring you another Simplistic Reviews Movie Commentary. We’re sure you have better things to do today. Drink and Eating come to mind. But the time may come when you must watch that

Batman V Superman

Dawn of Justice

Ultimate Edition

Extended Cut

Collectors Edition

Movie Commentary

Christ that’s a mouthful. Then lets watch it together. A army of one. A uprising to be independent from unbelievable plot holes in a $250 million dollar movie. I mean it’s crazy to think these people are professionals and still somehow find work.

So remember young ones. You don’t need to jam 10 pounds of shit into a 5 pound bag. Fill up that first bag with all that needed shit and grab another 5 pound bag to finish stuffing that shit. Because having two bags of shit is okay, not one overstuffed bag of shit with plot holes throughout its 3hr run time is okay. Shit boys and girl, that just doesn’t fly!
 
June 24, 2016

SR Podcast (Ep. 70): Picasso Trigger – Movie Commentary: June 2016

Picasso Trigger
1988 | Action | 1hr 39mins
 
It’s Friday! So we thought another  
Movie Commentary was in order!
Continuing our marathon of the one and only Andy Sidaris. If this is your first time, Sidaris is the king of B-Rated films that pretty much only contains the 3 elements any film really ever needs Bullets, Babes and Sex!
Today we let lose on Picasso Trigger, another solid entry into the Sidaris legacy. 
“Double agent Picasso Trigger is assassinated in Paris by double-crossing bad guy Miguel Ortiz. Then Ortiz begins eliminating agents of The Agency who were involved in his brother’s death. The Agency (belatedly) springs into action to stop Ortiz’ heinous activities. The usual gunplay, romance, and nifty toys with bombs ensue.” 
 So grab a cold one and get ready for a thrill of a lifetime, because kids this is…
 Picasso Trigger!

April 7, 2016

SR Podcast (Ep.67) Police Academy 4 – Movie Commentary: April 2016

Ready for another Police Academy Movie Commentary?

Nether are we…

But hey this is the last movie in the series and without a doubt better then that last one. 

So for that last time (Thank God)
Grab that popcorn, get ready for dick jokes and enjoy the fact that there is no more Comdt. Mauser
Ladies and Gentlemen this is…

Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol

1987 | 1hr 28min | Comedy

We are finally done! Every Single Police Academy Film has been commented on by the gang at Simplistic Reviews.

Every Single One…

December 6, 2015

SR Podcast (Ep. 59): Icebreaker – Movie Commentary: Decemeber 2015

ICEBREAKER

Trailer

2000 | Action/Drama/Poorly Made | 90mins
At the the Killington ski resort something has gone awry. Evil terrorists led by the sinister Greig have taken the resort hostage with a stolen nuclear device. It’s up to Ski Patrol bum Matt Foster to save the day… and his fiancé.

How did someone think a knockoff of Die Hard with Sean Astin would be a good idea?

It’s that time of the year! Sunday Night Movie Night! Since the holidays are near and the snow is on the ground we figured Icebreaker is the right choice! (boy are we wrong)
Even MJ gives it his seal of approval. So everyone snuggle up in your blanket, pure some eggnog, get that fire going and sit back and enjoy the 2000 Classic, 
Icebreaker!

FUN FACTS:
IT SUCKS
A PEZ IS USED AS A WEAPON
A VHS IS USED AS A WEAPON
BOMBS COUNT UP IN THIS FILM
IS IT BASED ON A TRUE STORY
NOPE THATS A LIE
SEAN ASTIN IS 14 IN THIS FILM AND EVERY OTHER FILM
TOOK US OVER A YEAR TO TRACK DOWN A COPY
WHAT A WASTE OF A YEAR THAT WAS
SEAN ASTIN HAS A COKE PROBLEM
THIS FILM IS ALL OVER THE PLACE
STACY KEACH SIT 99% OF THE FILM
DID I TELL YOU ABOUT THE PEZ?
CHRIST KILL ME!

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS 14 YEAR OLD BOY?

October 31, 2015

SR Podcast (Ep. 57) “Happy” Halloween 3: Season of the Witch: October 2015

Happy Halloween!

Today is Halloween and to celebrate we figured what would be a better way then with the very unappreciated but great…

Halloween 3: Season of the Witch
98 mins | Horror | 1982
FOR MATURE AUDIENCES


The gang gathers around for this Halloween film that doesn’t feature Micheal Myers but does feature but not limited to, Killer Halloween Masks! Commercialization of the Halloween! Witchcraft! Androids! Shamrocks! and Tom mofo Atkins! It’s a spooky film for a spooky day…now if only we could drink a McDonald’s Shamrock Shake with a hit of whiskey that would make this day even better!

September 28, 2015

SR Podcast (Ep. 55): Hard Ticket To Hawaii – Movie Commentary: September 2015

FOR MATURE AUDIENCES


Today’s Sunday Movie is…

Hard Ticket to Hawaii

96mins / Action / 1987

There are films that come and go. Great films that missed the limelight and never get the recognition they deserve.

Then there is Hard Ticket To Hawaii, a film that’s not amazing but we are glad it was made. It’s a crazy film that feels like they honestly just run and gun it. And even though this film isn’t perfect, it is one fun film to watch.

Check out Slaughter Film’s Review

Action Movie Time Machine – Hard Ticket to Hawaii

It’s a film jam packed full of Bullets, Boobs and Explosions! 

What more can you ask for?





 Show Notes

Watch the film with us

Read the Slaughter Film Review

Music Notes

Theme Song

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