ouch

August 22, 2013

Nature Calls


Nature Calls: Ouch

79 min  –  Comedy (?)  –  2012

So one night a friend and I went on Netflix looking for a film to watch. You know, late night snacking with a “funny” movie playing, drinking beers and pissing the night away. When we finished watching this film we both could not help but wonder why we watched the whole damn thing. It’s such a crappy film, I think we both were in a shocked state of mind.

Polar-opposite brothers Randy and Kirk never saw eye-to-eye, but their rivalry is taken to a new level when Randy hijacks Kirk’s son’s sleepover, taking the boys on a Scout Trip to remember. (IMDB)

So why does this film suck so much?

It’s a comedy film that has maybe 12 seconds of funny in it. Out of the 79mins only 12 seconds is funny? Well I’m not sure how that can be counted as a comedy film.

I mean, Schindler’s List was funnier…

With a cast like Nature Calls I think I’m angrier that it’s as bad as it is.

Patton Oswalt, Johnny Knoxville, Rob Riggie, Darrell Hammond and Patrice O’Neal (his last film).

And this film still sucks? I like the story, the actors but the script just wasn’t ready and maybe could have been worked on by its awesome cast.

If you come across it one night, Skip it.

September 15, 2012

The Raid: Redemption (DJ’s Take)

OUCH

I’ll be brief.  The Raid: Redemption isn’t a movie.  Okay, it’s a movie strictly in the technical sense.  It was shot on a camera, there are actors in it and it was shown in a theater. However, the The Raid really can be best described as an experience.  A hyper violent experience of biblical proportions.  It’s bodies and bullets and blood by the buckets.   Battered bones and broken bulbs used as bayonets.  I’m sure there was a plot in it somewhere, but I didn’t follow it.   Not because I couldn’t.  But because I realized early on that I shouldn’t.  The story is merely a vehicle to legitimize watching an hour and a half long brutal martial arts display.  There are nearly fifty cast members in this film that are credited no higher than AK-47 Gunman #16 or Swat Member #11.  Names aren’t important.  Motivations are made pretty clear.  It’s visceral eye candy at its finest.  And I enjoyed the hell of it.

And I do mean visceral.   I don’t think that I’m going out on a limb here by saying that it may be one of the most violent films ever.   The Matrix? Old Boy? Kill Bill? Ong Bak?  Pikers compared to The Raid.  It is written(HA! HA!), directed, and edited by Gareth Evans.  You don’t care about that.  It features music by Mike Shinoda from Linkin Park.  You won’t care about that.  All you’ll be able to take from The Raid is that Indonesian stunt men need to be paid more.  You’ll cringe.  You’ll grimace.  You’ll gasp.  And then you’ll watch it all over again.   It is a must have for any true action film fan.  Go ahead…watch it…finish blurting out an awe inspired obscenity….then tell me I’m wrong.

July 24, 2012

The Three Stooges

The Three Stooges: Ouch

I only cut myself 8 times watching this… 


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