podcast

July 4, 2016

Ep. 71: Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice – Ultimate Edition – Movie Commentary: July 2016

Batman V Superman

 2016 | Superhero | 181 minutes

Today on this 4th of July we fight a 3hr war, one we thought we would lose. But we made it through all 3hrs of Zack Snyder’s poor choices to bring you another Simplistic Reviews Movie Commentary. We’re sure you have better things to do today. Drink and Eating come to mind. But the time may come when you must watch that

Batman V Superman

Dawn of Justice

Ultimate Edition

Extended Cut

Collectors Edition

Movie Commentary

Christ that’s a mouthful. Then lets watch it together. A army of one. A uprising to be independent from unbelievable plot holes in a $250 million dollar movie. I mean it’s crazy to think these people are professionals and still somehow find work.

So remember young ones. You don’t need to jam 10 pounds of shit into a 5 pound bag. Fill up that first bag with all that needed shit and grab another 5 pound bag to finish stuffing that shit. Because having two bags of shit is okay, not one overstuffed bag of shit with plot holes throughout its 3hr run time is okay. Shit boys and girl, that just doesn’t fly!
 
April 7, 2016

SR Podcast (Ep.67) Police Academy 4 – Movie Commentary: April 2016

Ready for another Police Academy Movie Commentary?

Nether are we…

But hey this is the last movie in the series and without a doubt better then that last one. 

So for that last time (Thank God)
Grab that popcorn, get ready for dick jokes and enjoy the fact that there is no more Comdt. Mauser
Ladies and Gentlemen this is…

Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol

1987 | 1hr 28min | Comedy

We are finally done! Every Single Police Academy Film has been commented on by the gang at Simplistic Reviews.

Every Single One…

February 23, 2016

The Simplistic Reviews 2016 Oscar Prediction Podcast (Ep. 65)

FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY

You’ve heard from the experts…now hear from the madmen from Simplistic Reviews as they predict who will and who should win at the 2016 Oscars.  Don’t worry, the boys do their best to skate around the #OscarsSoWhite issue.  What, are you kidding?  They tackle it head on with enough irreverence that even Spike Lee flinch.  They also tackle other topics like R rated animation, Jennifer Lawrence on the precipise of being hated, and Harvey Fierstein…a lot of Harvey Fierstein.  All that and more on the Simplistic Reviews Oscar Prediction Podcast

NOTES
Harvey Fierstein in Independence Day
Morgan Freeman Car Accident

MUSIC
Hot Shot By Saun & Star
Across 110th Street By Bobby Womack
Strawberry Letter 23 By The Brothers Johnson

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December 6, 2015

SR Podcast (Ep. 59): Icebreaker – Movie Commentary: Decemeber 2015

ICEBREAKER

Trailer

2000 | Action/Drama/Poorly Made | 90mins
At the the Killington ski resort something has gone awry. Evil terrorists led by the sinister Greig have taken the resort hostage with a stolen nuclear device. It’s up to Ski Patrol bum Matt Foster to save the day… and his fiancé.

How did someone think a knockoff of Die Hard with Sean Astin would be a good idea?

It’s that time of the year! Sunday Night Movie Night! Since the holidays are near and the snow is on the ground we figured Icebreaker is the right choice! (boy are we wrong)
Even MJ gives it his seal of approval. So everyone snuggle up in your blanket, pure some eggnog, get that fire going and sit back and enjoy the 2000 Classic, 
Icebreaker!

FUN FACTS:
IT SUCKS
A PEZ IS USED AS A WEAPON
A VHS IS USED AS A WEAPON
BOMBS COUNT UP IN THIS FILM
IS IT BASED ON A TRUE STORY
NOPE THATS A LIE
SEAN ASTIN IS 14 IN THIS FILM AND EVERY OTHER FILM
TOOK US OVER A YEAR TO TRACK DOWN A COPY
WHAT A WASTE OF A YEAR THAT WAS
SEAN ASTIN HAS A COKE PROBLEM
THIS FILM IS ALL OVER THE PLACE
STACY KEACH SIT 99% OF THE FILM
DID I TELL YOU ABOUT THE PEZ?
CHRIST KILL ME!

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS 14 YEAR OLD BOY?

August 10, 2015

SR Podcast (Ep. 52): Never Too Young To Die – Movie Commentary: August 2015

A secret agent is murdered! 

Can his son, a high school gymnast, along with a spy catch the man/woman who killed him? 

Team up with DJ and Justin to find out on the next Monday Night Movie Night!

Never Too Young To Die

92 mins / Action / 1986
Secret agent Drew Stargrove is brutally murdered by the ruthless Van Ragnar. In this action-packed Bond-style thriller, the murdered secret agent’s son, Lance Stargrove is thrust into the dangerous and intriguing world of secret agents and espionage when he seeks revenge against Van Ragnar. Danja Deerling teams up with Lance as his sidekick and love interest. 

Watch along with the film HERE

Taglines to tickle your fancy!
Stargrove: the new American hero.
Vanity: the new breed of temptress! Stamos: the new breed of hero!
At the age of 18, every government agency wanted him… dead or alive.
He inherited all his father’s enemies and only one of his friends.
Action: Bond style. Beauty: Vanity style. Hero: American style.


July 13, 2015

SR Podcast (Ep.51): Back to School – Movie Commentary: July 2015

We are back again for another Monday Night
Movie Night!

After that big 50th episode we took a bit of a break and sat down to watch the 1986 classic Back to School. We figured a few laughs was in order since a murder took place on that last podcast.

Back to School
96 mins / Comedy / 1986

“To help his discouraged son get through college, a fun-loving and obnoxious rich businessman decides to enter the school as a student himself.”

Music Notes

Back to School – Jude Cole

Twist and Shout – Rodney Dangerfield

Back To School – Oingo Boingo

May 25, 2015

SR Podcast (Ep. 48): Police Academy 2: Their First Assignment – Movie Commentary – May 2015

FOR MATURE AUDIENCES
It’s Monday 
Movie Night
Movie Commentary!
Police Academy 2: 
Their First Assignment
1985 / Comedy / 87 mins
We already watched the classic Police Academy. 
So now we continue this marathon with its sequel Police Academy 2: Their First Assignment.
Many movie franchises have had equality or superior sequels. Movie franchises like The Godfather, The Dark Knight, Star Wars. Police Academy 2 is not one of them. In fact its the complete opposite and is a pretty bad film with only one good take away, Zed.
So sit back with the popcorn as we try to get though by having a few laughs at the expense of this weak sequel.

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April 22, 2015

SR Podcast (Ep. 45): Slaughter High – Movie Commentary: April 2015

Movie Commentary Time!

Slaughter High

1986 – 90 mins – Slasher/Horror

Today we watch and make fun of the 90 min B-Slasher film, Slaughter High. We know what you are saying, “It’s finally here!” Since the Podcast gang has been talking about Slaughter High numerous times on Podcasts and even a episode on Unboxing/Reviews.

Slaughter High is about eight people that are invited to their 10-year high school reunion at their now-closed down high school where a former student, disfigured from a prank gone wrong, is there to seek revenge. Simple and to the point but it’s got its issues.

Slaughter High is a fun, entertaining film of which everyone should see. If you haven’t this is the perfect time to watch!

Also this Movie Commentary is sponsor by Tide Stick!

Remember kids, if you go on a murderous rampage bring along a Tide Stick!

April 14, 2015

SR Podcast (Ep. 44): Police Academy – Movie Commentary: April 2015

FOR MATURE AUDIENCES

Today is movie commentary day! Today we watch the one and only Police Academy.

There isn’t another movie in the likes of Police Academy. I mean how many movies include a human soundboard, extreme racism, a man in a horses ass and a surprise blow job to a 100 year old man (that could possibly be or not be by Steve Guttenberg).

Sounds like the perfect ingredients for the perfect film right? Well it is one of the funniest comedies ever made. So cue up that VHS copy of Police Academy and prepare to laugh at one of the more ridiculous comedies ever made.

 SHOW NOTES
Vampire Academy Joke

Police Academy – Trailer

Police Academy – Theme Song

February 21, 2015

SR Podcast (Ep. 39): Miami Connection – Movie Commentary: February 2015

Friday Night Movie Night!

Tagline: Survival the ultimate test…

The year is 1987. Motorcycle ninjas tighten their grip on Florida’s narcotics trade, viciously annihilating anyone who dares move in on their turf. Multi-national martial arts rock band Dragon Sound have had enough, and embark on a roundhouse wreck-wave of crime-crushing justice. When not chasing beach bunnies or performing their hit song “Against the Ninja,” Mark (taekwondo master/inspirational speaker Y.K. Kim) and the boys are kicking and chopping at the drug world’s smelliest underbelly. It’ll take every ounce of their blood and courage, but Dragon Sound can’t stop until they’ve completely destroyed the dealers, the drunk bikers, the kill-crazy ninjas, the middle-aged thugs, the “stupid cocaine”

…and the entire MIAMI CONNECTION!!!


Podcast Notes

Deleted Scene “Music Store”

Music

Dragon Sound “Friends”
Dragon Sound “Against The Ninja”

Miami Connection OST – Jon McCallum – Trainyard

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