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February 6, 2017

Super Bowl Halftime Shows: From Prince to Lady Gaga

Well, the verdict is in; Lady Gaga’s Super Bowl Halftime Show is the greatest of all-time. At least according to the Internet, and the Internet is never wrong. NEVER!

Look, this year was the perfect storm. Gaga is an LGBTQ Freedom Fighter, and we all thank her for that, and the fact that someone so vocal for the rights of the LGBTQ Community was performing in front of a well-known anti-Gay Rights Champion like our Vice President, Mike Pence, is a watershed moment. But a lot of people expected something a little more political, but the performance came down to musicianship and the overarching idea of brotherhood and sisterhood.

We’ve come a long way since Nipple-Gate and the near collapse of Western Civilization, but HEY, that Doomsday Clock is ticking again folks! But let’s take a moment to look back at the last 10-years of Super Bowl performances (including this year’s) that range from pure magic, to pure rubbish, to pure meme.

2007 – Prince Makes It Rain

If there ever was a performance that made you think of divine intervention, this is the one. All you needed on stage was Prince. When you ask Prince to perform, you get Prince, nothing more, nothing less. He concluded his performance with “Purple Rain,” while it was raining…You can’t top it, and shut up if you argue it! Plus, he used his guitar to make it look like his dick…classic Prince.

2008 – Petty…Tom Petty

Don’t get me wrong, I like Tom Petty. He sings about weed, vampires, free fallin’, he’s pure Americana. But still coming off the high that was Prince the year before, you can only feel that his performance was..meh.

2009 – Bruce Springsteen and the Pee Street Band

Another dose of Americana with a side of “dick in the face.” I can’t say I’m the biggest Springsteen fan, I mean my dad liked him, he introduced the world to Courtney Cox, funny enough, but all that “blue collar rock” is just bland to me. But hey, in 2009 you got some old fashioned, “dick in the face.”

2010 – Who Over Miami

The Who perform your dad’s favorite hits! Don’t get me wrong, The Who are great. They are British royalty, but it just felt that after Prince’s 2007 performance, the Super Bowl kind of went into a bubble of safety and only allowed old white men in their 60s and 70s to play music for us. Nonetheless, a good classic rock performance.

2011 – Usher (/) Black Eyed Peas

I might have complained about hearing out of touch white people music the past three years, but I can’t say I was ready for what 2011’s Super Bowl Halftime should would bring us. After four years of solo performances, I guess the NFL thought that everyone was ready for a Tron-inspired snoozefest that featured songs that no ones cares about anymore. “Let’s Get Retarded” (yes, I’m using the real name of the song since that’s what The Black Eyed Peas called it) “Where is the Love?” Who cares…this is a low point in the past ten-years of Super Bowl “performances.”

2012 – Flippin’ Birds with M.I.A and Madonna

Madonna’s bombastic performance should have been a disaster, but much like Prince, her stage presence and iconic persona save the day for another bloated performance featuring too many people on stage. The highlight was M.I.A flipping the bird to the camera. Now that’s “punk.”

2013 – Beyonce Slums It

While I might not be the biggest Beyonce fan, she knows how to command and audience, or that could just be the Illuminati. Regardless, the world was in a tither on whether Queen Bea would be reuniting with her long-forgotten sisters from Destiny’s Child, and than it happened. The Holy Trinity returned, if only for a couple of minutes, but I’m sure the nostalgia running through people’s veins was amazing…or not…who cares.

2014 – Power Line and the Chili Peppers

How do you top Beyonce?! Well, you don’t, you can’t stupid! With that being said, Bruno Mars and The Red Hot Chili Peppers put on a good show playing the hits that made them famous, while saluting members of the military. It’s a safe performance.

2015 – Sharks…Why Did It Have to Be Sharks

Shark memes…the performance that launched a 1000 shark memes. The performance was entertaining.

2016 – The Performance That Scared White People

2016 was a pretty big year for the world. We saw a beloved president leave and be traded-in for an orange Halloween peanut, and with Beyonce yet again on the Super Bowl stage in front of millions of people, she decided to scare White America with the song “Formation.” Coldplay was an milquetoast as ever, and Bruno Mars brought the fun, but Mrs. Lemonade herself made a statement that was a sign of the times.

2017 – She Jumped Off a Stadium

Expectations were high. After 2016’s “Formation” performance, many thought that Lady Gaga would do something outrageous. Well, I mean, she started the show by jumping off the roof of the stadium. After that she sang some songs with, wait for it, a live band with live instruments. Finally, just when you thought she would go all “political,” nope, she killed it with kindness by hugging members of the crowd and just being an all-around good person.

What will 2018 have in store for us next year? Maybe some Ted Nugent, Creedence Clearwater Revival, Styx? Oh my, the possibilities are endless in this new era we live in!

May 12, 2016

3 Simplistic Things: April 2016

A little late getting around to this quick wrap-up of the events of April, but you just might say that’s a “foolish” excuse.

Drinking Beyonce’s ‘Lemonade’

I mean who wouldn’t want to drink whatever would come out of Beyonce. Apparently not Jay-Z since he was ‘Drunk in Love’ with someone else. HBO unleashed Beyonce’s latest art-pop-film-waste of the public’s time, and so…yeah….that’s about it. But hey, when you look like Queen B, you can do whatever you want.

A Return to Westeros
A new season of Game of Thrones is always an event, and this season might be the most anticipated. The show has pretty much surpassed the books and TV audiences are finally at the same point of book readers. Episode One showed a glimpse of things to come, and it should be one of the series’ best season since Season Three.
Sleep Well Sweet Prince
Nothing really to say, but; RIP

See you all next month. kthnxbye.

April 27, 2016

The Simplistic Reviews Podcast (Ep. 68) April 2016


 On this “Spring Cleaning” episode of The Simplistic Reviews Podcast, Matty Negs from Negs Best Thing Podcast helps us talk remakes of TV shows, reboots of Robin Williams films, Game Of Thrones, Prince, Coolio, and movie character fights to the death.  Oh and Al Pacino reads the phone book for us. All that and more on the April edition of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast.



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August 10, 2015

SR Podcast (Ep. 52): Never Too Young To Die – Movie Commentary: August 2015

A secret agent is murdered! 

Can his son, a high school gymnast, along with a spy catch the man/woman who killed him? 

Team up with DJ and Justin to find out on the next Monday Night Movie Night!

Never Too Young To Die

92 mins / Action / 1986
Secret agent Drew Stargrove is brutally murdered by the ruthless Van Ragnar. In this action-packed Bond-style thriller, the murdered secret agent’s son, Lance Stargrove is thrust into the dangerous and intriguing world of secret agents and espionage when he seeks revenge against Van Ragnar. Danja Deerling teams up with Lance as his sidekick and love interest. 

Watch along with the film HERE

Taglines to tickle your fancy!
Stargrove: the new American hero.
Vanity: the new breed of temptress! Stamos: the new breed of hero!
At the age of 18, every government agency wanted him… dead or alive.
He inherited all his father’s enemies and only one of his friends.
Action: Bond style. Beauty: Vanity style. Hero: American style.

June 24, 2014


Batman: Quintessential


There are only a couple films that I can pick from that have influenced me at a very young age. Back to Future is one and the other is today’s review.

Batman is pretty much a perfect film even though its a film plagued with errors.

Vicki Vale entering the Batcave. (Say What?! Thanks Alfred)
Batman killing the Joker. (Wait… Batman just killed the Joker?)
The Joker killing Martha and Thomas Wayne. (Wait what?)
Batman creating the Joker. (Ugh you made me first)
Batman being a mass murder. (I think Batman kills more than the Joker)

These are big issues, yet Batman continues to be the best Batman film to have ever been made. How is that possible?

Because Batman 89 has everything to make a summer blockbuster and everything to make a staple of a film for a young boy’s mind.

Lets start with the cast
The cast is absolutely perfect. Of course at the time everyone had issues with it, but overtime the film holds up with help from its characters and actors. Michael Keaton is Batman! He will always be a favorite for us 80’s and 90’s kids. When I first met Neal he asked me about who I thought was the best Batman. I said Bale comes close but hands down I have to say Keaton. Keaton brought Batman from a joke to a icon. I am a big fan of the comedy of 66’s Batman but it will always piss me off. Batman was not that, he is what Keaton showed us. Keaton’s ability to pull off Batman and Bruce is something we really haven’t had since. Bale again is the only one that comes close, but falls short with that voice. Keaton got it. Keaton went to that dark place in his voice and for that he will always be the Batman/Bruce of the big screen.

Jack Nicholson as the Joker is hands-down one of the greatest castings in film history. He as a actor that took that role and stole each scene he was in. Vicki Vale played by Kim Basinger has always been my favorite Batman love interest since maybe Andrea Beaumont. No female since has been able to pull off her part. The cast is a classic and I hope we get another Batman film with a fantastic cast like this in the future.

The story is a simple telling of the origin while using flashbacks. It’s very well written, and the structure is fantastic. I’m amazed what Sam Hamm did with this script. I’m more amazed Sam Hamm didn’t become a well known writer. Right now Hamm’s IMDB page shows 9 credits. How is that possible? He really did a great job with this film. When Batman Returns came around he kind of was given the shaft. He gets credit for story but if you ever get a chance to read his script you’ll find a good read. In fact I really wish they went more with his then Daniel Waters.

That score and soundtrack, WOW!
Danny Elfman! Elfman created the greatest theme ever! Sure Superman has a good one, Star Wars is cool but Batman! Come on its amazing and why the hell did we not bring it back. Elfman created a score that just fits perfectly. It’s dark and beautiful. Yet it’s very strange and exciting. I want to feel this again in the theater and I hope we get this theme back, come on Zimmer DO IT! I double dare you! Now Prince created a period of time that will forever be playing in my ears. I listen to this soundtrack almost every week. The film gets watch almost every week too, yep I’m not joking. Happy or angry I will queue up that soundtrack and play the hell out of it.

Art direction is incredible. Something you will never see anywhere else. When I look at that set I think to myself this is a once in a lifetime experience. That suit is my favorite version ever to be done. Zack Snyder is coming close, still we haven’t seen it in color yet, but you can never go wrong with full black and that yellow belt and logo.

Tim Burton pulled off one of the greatest feats in film history. He was a kid at the time. A kid with the most expensive film riding on his back and he pulled it off. I don’t think he really tries anymore, which sadness me. His early work is far superior and is something I dearly miss. But what Burton gave me makes up completely for his recent films. He gave me a childhood, which I reminisce about once and awhile. Batman was and is everything to me. Without this film, things could be different. I might of not of been that little boy with the black towel attached with those clothes pins running. And for that I can only think of a simpler time and say thanks for the great film.

Happy 25th Birthday!

Oh and…

I’m Batman!

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