review

August 9, 2018

Mission Impossible: Fallout

Mission Impossible: Fallout is one of the best times you’ll have at the theater this year. Fallout is a high octane action film that brings every aspect you look for in a film to a level of excellence.

August 2, 2018

Uncle Sam

So you may have notice we did a movie commentary on Uncle Sam and if you didn’t well I guess shameless plug for us. But honestly you can’t get more American then this film. What other country can you finance a film about it’s patriotic symbol and have him murder people on that country’s birthday. Uncle Sam is a crappy film but that’s okay. It’s the perfect entertainment to enjoy with the freedoms we get when some in other parts of the world don’t. Uncle Sam a stupid slasher film that fills the appetite.
December 11, 2016

(Ep. 79): Suicide Squad – Extended Cut – Movie Commentary: December 2016

Suicide Squad – Extended Cut

2 hours, 14 minutes

Seriously? Yes I don’t know why but we did another WB extended-we-don’t-give-you-the-full-movie-the-first-time-cut.

What to say about a poorly made film. I mean a 8 year old with iMovie could do a better editing job.

And I feel bad for bringing the 8 year old this luckluster piece of crap.

DJ says it the best. “This is the biggest disappointment of the year”.

So we know you really do not want to watch this film again but hell we gave it a try. So this Sunday Funday Movie Night lets give it a GO!

All Board the WB shitliner one more time!
This time the
S. S. We fooled you again…HAHAHA (Shitty Joker laugh)
Don’t worry, this time we have Ted Lange as Your Bartender!  
Suicide Squad
It feels good to be bad…Assemble a team of the world’s most dangerous, incarcerated Super Villains, provide them with the most powerful arsenal at the government’s disposal, and send them off on a mission to defeat an enigmatic, insuperable entity. U.S. intelligence officer Amanda Waller has determined only a secretly convened group of disparate, despicable individuals with next to nothing to lose will do. However, once they realize they weren’t picked to succeed but chosen for their patent culpability when they inevitably fail, will the Suicide Squad resolve to die trying, or decide it’s every man for himself?

A secret government agency, led by the ruthless, high-ranking official Amanda Waller, recruits some of the most dangerous, incarcerated villains on the planet to execute dangerous black ops missions and save the world from a potentially apocalyptic threat from a mysterious, supernatural entity. If anything goes wrong on this mission, the government will not be liable but rather can place the blame on the villains, who are inherently evil people. A small bomb is implanted in each member of the squad’s neck with the capability of detonating any time one of the members tries to rebel or escape. It will be up to this assembled team of villains to prevail over the seemingly impossible events that will unfold before them, in what many deem to be a “suicide mission”.

October 28, 2016

Ouija: Origin of Evil

   Ouija 2 – Origin of Evil: Enjoyable

2016 ‧ Thriller/Horror ‧ 1h 39m
 
In 1967 Los Angeles, widowed mother Alice Zander (Elizabeth Reaser) unwittingly invites authentic evil into her home by adding a new stunt to bolster her séance scam business. When the merciless spirit overtakes her youngest daughter Doris (Lulu Wilson), the small family must confront unthinkable fears to save her and send her possessor back to the other side.
Release date: October 21, 2016
Director: Mike Flanagan

I don’t really know what to say here but I kinda enjoyed this movie. That’s right, I enjoyed Ouija 2. You know that board game that Universal Pictures made into a movie a few years back? It did somewhat good, despite it being a poor excuse of what qualifies for a movie. It was one of the worst movies I have ever seen and still they decided to make a sequel, and not just a sequel but a time period prequel that Justin somehow enjoyed watching.

“A prequel superior to its predecessor”

Okay. First lets just get this out of the way. Studios are scratching the barrel for ideas that already have somewhat of a foundation. Original ideas are all but lost. Remakes, sequels and re-imagined all but rule at the box offices. And we just had “the worst summer of movies” and the future doesn’t seem like any of this will be changing.

Ouija 2: Origin of Evil recently came out with me not hearing a damn thing about it. It was last Podcast Ep. 77 when we saw a sequel had already been out and the ratings were pretty solid. I was shocked and couldn’t believe this was out. On top of that it was rated extremely better then the first one. A few nights later I was able to leave work early and I decide I would go check it out.

And yes I enjoyed it! Was it the best film a saw in years? No but it was pretty fun to watch. The thing about Ouija 2 is it kinda knows what it is. With the first one everything was taken so serious but here things are a bit more tight and laughed about. In fact there is a couple funny moments in this film that played very well with the audience (Maybe 20 in the showing). It was one of those films where people were yelling out stuff at the crappy moments and laughing at the jokes. Sure the movie isn’t perfect but damn I kinda enjoyed watching it. Let me just state my reason of liking it was do to the fact it was goofy and crew I believe knew right down to the script what this film really would be. The first film thought is was scary, yet it wasn’t and even the bad was nothing to laugh at.

Ouija: Origin of Evil was an enjoying film to watch at the theater. Surprising but a joy to watch. Thumbs up Mike Flanagan!

July 14, 2015

Terminator Genisys

Terminator Genisys: Complex

126 min / Action / 2015

Terminator Genisys’ fault is that it’s a Terminator film. This movie tries so hard to fit in and yet that makes it stick out. Is Genisys a good film? It’s fine for a summer popcorn film. It doesn’t suck, but I probably won’t be watching this again anytime soon.

Why Complex? The script and casting make this an okay summer film. If they just fixed the casting problems then I’d say its better then fine. Oddly enough the casting killed me more so than the issues with the script.

The Good: 

Surprised with Emilia Clarke. Heard a lot of bad things about her as Sarah Conner but compared to the other casting she won me over (and plus she is so damn pretty…sigh).

Arnold Schwarzenegger was Arnold Schwarzenegger. Listen when I say it was amazing to see him in a summer movie again…Damn it! I mean it! His dialogue sucked but dude its Arnold Schwarzenegger as multiple Cyberdyne Systems Model 101 Series 800 Terminators! Yes its a good thing…The old Terminator wasn’t that bad ether, it grew on me.


The Bad: 

The idea that Genisys (Spell checker hates this word) is this universal OS on all your devices comes off cheesy as hell. They never show it but just a count down, and everyone is loosing their minds for it. If they actually showed it (a bit of the GUI) I’d be less angry with it. Oh and all the Billboard Screens with the count down was making me cringe as I sat there after paying $25 in tickets plus $8 popcorn and two waters at $5 bucks each…ugh the cost is hurting and the cheesy parts aren’t helping.

The casting of Simplistic Reviews’ favorite actor Jai Courtney…who as you can guess is no Kyle Reese. Killed me every time he appeared on screen.

Oddly not as much as Jason Clarke (who I like but Don’t like) as John Connor did, it’s bad casting. What they do with the character doesn’t help ether, it kinda felt like a cop out. He looks nothing like a John Connor and at this point I’m thinking they just casted him for his last name to save room on the billboard with Emilia Clarke.

Oh god that complex storyline with it’s plot holes and horrible no way funny dialogue. You know what I’m talking about? Those suppose to be funny scenes that fell flat?

But hey after viewing the trailers I lost every care to see this film. So to say the trailers sucked but the film didn’t is not a good thing for it’s promotion, but it is good for me since I spent money. :/

All in all its a weak but fine and somewhat fun but complex popcorn film to watch during this summer, even with it’s large ass problems.

May 25, 2015

SR Podcast (Ep. 48): Police Academy 2: Their First Assignment – Movie Commentary – May 2015

FOR MATURE AUDIENCES
It’s Monday 
Movie Night
Movie Commentary!
Police Academy 2: 
Their First Assignment
1985 / Comedy / 87 mins
We already watched the classic Police Academy. 
So now we continue this marathon with its sequel Police Academy 2: Their First Assignment.
Many movie franchises have had equality or superior sequels. Movie franchises like The Godfather, The Dark Knight, Star Wars. Police Academy 2 is not one of them. In fact its the complete opposite and is a pretty bad film with only one good take away, Zed.
So sit back with the popcorn as we try to get though by having a few laughs at the expense of this weak sequel.

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January 8, 2015

Unboxing/Review: Rotten Rentals > VHS Packs & Horror Collectibles

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Ready to try something a little different?

Here we go!

We start our journey with an unknown package from my Simplistic Reviews Brother Matthew…

Welcome to the new home of SimplisticReviews.net - We're currently still working on the site. You might notice a few issues, please be patient with us. Thanks! (Store also in testing — no orders shall be fulfilled.)
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