Sean Connery

March 22, 2016

The Simplistic Reviews Podcast (Ep. 66) March 2016

FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY



On this ORDER 66 Episode of The Simplistic Reviews Podcast, the boys get prepped for Batman V Superman with a brand new skit.  Matt accepts our award from GeekCast Radio Network for best podcast. And to prove that they can be fair, the boys play a round of Simply Say Anything.  Trailers, Indiana Jones, and Daredevil talk.  All this and more on the March edition of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast.


Notes

Order 66
Sean Connery Slapping Women Explanation
Judge Reinhold
Predator Poster
James Franco Batman Cowl

Music

In Your Eyes By Peter Gabriel

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November 30, 2012

Double-ovember, Dr. No

Dr. No: Historic
110min/Action/1962

First Bond Appearance


Villain: Dr. Julius No

Bond Girl(s): Honey Ryder
Sylvia Trench
Miss Taro

So here it is, the film that started a strong 50 year film franchise. Without this film who knows where the state of movies would be these days. This film is historic and its a damn good film.

Why is this film historic? Well the film had every odd against it and its amazing it even got made. Even if you might not like it, you would have to admit it is historic.

Dr. No is a fantastic film, might not be my number one but it is up there.  The story is good, again not the greatest nor the weakest. The films villain is Dr. Julius No (Is that a badass name or what?) His look and accent for me hit every note one could hope for. He sets the bar very high right out of the gate. To make a film is difficult on so many levels to begin with, but to make a film a classic is something wonderful. Production is second to none (Thanks Ken Adam). Music is great and Terence Young creates a wonderful formula.

There are a hand full of classic scenes, one of course is Honey Ryder’s out of the water shot. You know it if you have seen the film or not, that’s how classic it is. It really boggles my mind how they came up with so many classic introduction scenes in this film. From the first introduction of  these characters to the viewer is simply amazing. But the best is Bond’s. The way this is shot is perfect. Here we have one of the most historic characters of all time and they shoot it 100% perfect. First you hear of “some guy” named James Bond and you don’t see him. We are at a casino and all you see first of him is his hands. Then his back. Then his hands again, this time tossing the cards as he kicks ass at the table. He asks the lady’s name then she asks his name. Now you see his face for the first time as he says,

“Bond, James Bond”

Cue the music as he lights up a cigarette…

and so it begins!
   

November 17, 2012

Double-ovember: Goldfinger

ICONIC

If you looked in the spy movie encyclopedia and searched for James Bond, the first film it would reference would be Goldfinger.  It is an ICONIC example of the world Ian Fleming created all those years ago on the beaches of Jamaica.  It is the starting point for all the other spy movies in this encyclopedia I just made up.  It stars the most ICONIC Bond in Sean Connery.  It has one of the most ICONIC villains in Goldfinger.  It has one of the most ICONIC henchmen in Odd Job.  It has the most ICONIC Bond girl in Pussy Galore.  The car, the kills, the gadgets, the catchphrases, the song…all ICONIC.  There have been many great Bond films since, but in my eyes, none have surpassed the notability of Goldfinger.
I have stressed before my belief that the best kinds of Bond girls are not just beautiful.  They are not just a pawn for which Bond can casually move around for his own benefit.  They are women who can hold their own with Bond physically or mentally or both.  The larger the challenge they give James, the brighter he shines.  Bond girls in the beginning were victims of the time.  Female empowerment was rarely seen in cinema in the 60s.  Goldfinger, however, manages to have two girls that bucked that trend.  Jill Masterson, who has probably the most ICONIC fate in Bond history, does fall into the pawn category.  However, her vengeful sister Tilly does not.  She makes it her life’s mission to find and kill the man responsible for her sister’s demise.  Even if that means shooting through 007 to do it.  She still  pales in comparison to Pussy Galore.  Pussy is beautiful, a pilot, proficient with firearms, and a judo master.  The first time Bond meets her, she pushes him around at gunpoint.  The next time they meet, Pussy knocks Bond on his ass and recaptures him.  The next time, they both have a Judo showdown in a barn.  Pussy Galore is the opposite of a pushover.  Even her relationship with Goldfinger seems more like one of competitive equals than employee/employer.  Pussy Galore was the benchmark Bond girl for me until Vesper Lynd came along.  But that is a conversation for another day.
Goldfinger and Odd Job shouldn’t work as villains on paper.  A British born, Dutch sounding, gold obsessed, spoiled sport teamed with an Asian chauffeur who likes playing ring toss on people’s heads with a lethal, metal brimmed bowler.  However, they are two of the Bond franchise’s most referenced villains.  You’ve never seen a Bond retrospective without seeing THIS…or THIS.  But other than ICONOGRAPHY, how do they stack up as villains?  Goldfinger’s plan is surprisingly sound, even for today’s standard.  Hell, a version of it was used in Die Hard With A Vengeance.  He should also get props for making Sean Connery’s Bond appear actually desperate.  That laser scene always reminds me of this amazing scene in Mission Impossible 3.  Goldfinger’s obsession with gold falls short only to his obsession with winning.  If Francis from Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure grew up to be a Bond villain he’d be Auric Goldfinger.  
A henchman’s scariness and effectiveness usually depends on their commitment to their boss’s cause.  Suffice to say, Odd Job is committed.  So much so, when the authorities begin to close in to stop a bomb he’s transporting, Odd Job locks himself inside a vault with the bomb and kills a nearby henchman to make sure he won’t diffuse it.  He’s more than a match for Bond physically and uses a weapon so implausible that it would make Q scoff.  That is a great henchman.
Goldfinger is literally James Bond 101.  If you ever need a refresher course on what exactly a Bond film should feel like, I advise you to …sing along with Dame Shirley Bassey…buy back all your gold from this guy…watch it…then tell me I’m wrong. 

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