Terminator

July 14, 2015

Terminator Genisys

Terminator Genisys: Complex

126 min / Action / 2015

Terminator Genisys’ fault is that it’s a Terminator film. This movie tries so hard to fit in and yet that makes it stick out. Is Genisys a good film? It’s fine for a summer popcorn film. It doesn’t suck, but I probably won’t be watching this again anytime soon.

Why Complex? The script and casting make this an okay summer film. If they just fixed the casting problems then I’d say its better then fine. Oddly enough the casting killed me more so than the issues with the script.

The Good: 

Surprised with Emilia Clarke. Heard a lot of bad things about her as Sarah Conner but compared to the other casting she won me over (and plus she is so damn pretty…sigh).

Arnold Schwarzenegger was Arnold Schwarzenegger. Listen when I say it was amazing to see him in a summer movie again…Damn it! I mean it! His dialogue sucked but dude its Arnold Schwarzenegger as multiple Cyberdyne Systems Model 101 Series 800 Terminators! Yes its a good thing…The old Terminator wasn’t that bad ether, it grew on me.


The Bad: 

The idea that Genisys (Spell checker hates this word) is this universal OS on all your devices comes off cheesy as hell. They never show it but just a count down, and everyone is loosing their minds for it. If they actually showed it (a bit of the GUI) I’d be less angry with it. Oh and all the Billboard Screens with the count down was making me cringe as I sat there after paying $25 in tickets plus $8 popcorn and two waters at $5 bucks each…ugh the cost is hurting and the cheesy parts aren’t helping.

The casting of Simplistic Reviews’ favorite actor Jai Courtney…who as you can guess is no Kyle Reese. Killed me every time he appeared on screen.

Oddly not as much as Jason Clarke (who I like but Don’t like) as John Connor did, it’s bad casting. What they do with the character doesn’t help ether, it kinda felt like a cop out. He looks nothing like a John Connor and at this point I’m thinking they just casted him for his last name to save room on the billboard with Emilia Clarke.

Oh god that complex storyline with it’s plot holes and horrible no way funny dialogue. You know what I’m talking about? Those suppose to be funny scenes that fell flat?

But hey after viewing the trailers I lost every care to see this film. So to say the trailers sucked but the film didn’t is not a good thing for it’s promotion, but it is good for me since I spent money. :/

All in all its a weak but fine and somewhat fun but complex popcorn film to watch during this summer, even with it’s large ass problems.

March 31, 2013

The Simplistic Reviews March Madness Bracket of Good and Evil Sweet 16 Results: FILM GOOD

JAMES BOND (1) WINNER
JACK SPARROW (13)

As Jack’s Disney female family member could attest, every Cinderella story must come to an end.  The battle of the Brits comes down to the battle of the wits. And Commander Bond has more than enough to spare to out duel ol’ Jackie.  James puts Sparrow to rest…in Dead Man’s Chest.

JOHN McCLANE (3) WINNER
SARAH CONNER (10)

Sarah Conner is a warrior through circumstance.  You go ahead and have a cybernetic organism from the future come back to kill you and see if you wouldn’t join the NRA.  But at the end of the day she wasn’t really a successful warrior.  She may have attempted a daring escape from the funny house, but she was eventually captured.  She may have tracked down and shot Dr. Dyson but she couldn’t kill him.  She may have blasted a few holes in Robert Patrick but Arnold still had to save her.  McClane’s record versus bad guys waaay out of his league is astounding.  And I won’t even go into his compunction for killing.  Besides, if there is anyone harder to kill than a T-1000 it would be John McClane.  Its not called Die Easy folks.  
March 26, 2013

The Simplistic Reviews March Madness Bracket of Good and Evil Round One Results: FILM GOOD

JAMES BOND (1) WINNER
TOXIC AVENGER (16)

One is a mutated, tutu-wearing, former gym janitor, the other is a secret agent that probably has had sex with a lot of girls who wear a tutu for a living.  New Jersey’s own, Toxic Avenger, may have the moves with the mop, but it all comes down to James Bond’s Golden Gun, and he wasn’t firing blanks this time.  Bond delivers “From Russia, With Love” a victory for jolly ole’ England.

INDIANA JONES (2) WINNER
TONY STARK (15) 

Tony may be a genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist.  However, Indy is an archeologist, professor, pilot, equestrian adventurer, WWII secret agent, playboy, oh…and survived the Ark Of The Convenant and drank water from THE HOLY F%*KING GRAIL.  Even Stark would have to give it up for that one.

JOHN McCLANE (3) WINNER
FOXY BROWN (14)

John McClane has always had tough luck with women.  He either divorces them or kills them.  This one he kills.

ELLEN RIPLEY (4)
CAPTAIN JACK SPARROW (13) WINNER

This goes without saying, but I’ll say it anyway; Jack Sparrow knows how to charm a lady.  Even if that lady has faced Xenomorphs, androids, and criminal rapists in an intergalactic penal colony.  Savvy?  Ellen Ripley appears so.  However, before she can unload her pulse cannon, the crafty captain boards her ship, shivers her timbers, and hoists his main sail (innuendo).  I’m sure Ripley would welcome a facehugger after a night with Captain Jack Sparrow, who upsets one of the heavy hitters in this bracket.

HAN SOLO (5) WINNER
HIT-GIRL (12)

Han shot first…nuff said. 

CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK (6) WINNER
BEATRIX KIDDO (11)
Beatrix Kiddo may be a world class assassin , but she has always been a sucker for charismatic older men.  And they don’t get any more charismatic than James T. Kirk.  Suffice to say Kirk gives The Bride the night of her life before setting his phaser to kill.

MAXIMUS DECIMUS MERIDIUS (7)
SARAH CONNOR (10) WINNER

It was that time of the month…You know what I mean guys…you know.

BATMAN (8) WINNER
JASON BOURNE (9)

Batman has dealt with his share of criminals, killers, and psychotics.  But I can’t say he’s dealt with an ex-CIA agent with a bad case of amnesia, a chip on his shoulder, and the ability to kill someone with a pencil or a book.  The Dark Knight had to pull out all of the tricks from his utility belt to deal with Jason Bourne, who got in a few early shots.  However, he was ultimately dealt a mortal wound courtesy of a Batarang.  He might not be Deadshot, but Bourne was merely a shot away from dispatching Gotham’s protector in this hotly contested battle.
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