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Training Day

May 24, 2016

The Simplistic Reviews Podcast (Ep. 69) May 2016


On the May edition of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast…Justin Polizzi…absolutely…LOSES IT!  Matt and DJ are powerless to stop him from  embracing the dark side and unleashing his anger about the new Ghostbusters movies…and Finding Dory…and Spider-Man Homecoming…and the television upfront trailers for Lethal Weapon, MacGyver and Training Day.  Polizzi’s unbridled rage and fury sends the show toppling down into a dark abyss of obscenities and inappropriate behavior with household pets. An abyss the show may never ever be able to recover from.  Now doesn’t that sound like a show that you should listen to?!  All that and more on this episode of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast.

Lethal Weapon Television Series
Training Day Television Series
MacGyver Television Series
Tetris Film
Joe Pesci Rap Song “Wise Guy”
Ghostbusters Trailer 2

1976 By RJD2
My Flows Is Tight By Lord Digga
Action In Memphis By Johnny Pearson
Let It Happen By Tame Impala

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March 25, 2013

Olympus Has Fallen


Really?  Really??  You got to be kidding me…I’m…sorry, I should be professional here.  However, I’m literally slack-jawed after watching Olympus Has Fallen.  Dumbstruck.  Flabbergasted.  At a loss.  Flummoxed.  Perplexed.  Confused.  Baffled.  My shoulder and neck hurt after having tilted my head to the side at the countless IMPLAUSIBLE and ridiculous moments in this film.  And I expected it!  I…I just can’t.  Okay, let me gather myself.  (Whew!)  Olympus Has Fallen is the Antoine Fuqua directed….WAIT…Fuqua directed this!?  The man behind one of my favorite films Training Day directed this mockery?!?  Tyler Perry makes a film a month and Fuqua gets stuck with crap stains like this?  Sorry, sorry.  Olympus Has Fallen is the…(gulp)…Antoine Fuqua directed film about a Korean attack on American soil.  Sound familiar?  Well it should.  Because you just got through NOT seeing the same concept in the abysmal Red Dawn remake.  Oh..oh this time it is the White House, not rural America.  That’ll make it better.  NO!  No.  It doesn’t.

How does the White House….THE MOST secured building IN THE WORLD get taken over you ask?


An airplane with more countermeasures than a Transformer and the most organized attacking force I’ve ever seen in my entire life.  Seriously.  The Red Skull and Loki both wielding the cosmic cube couldn’t organize an attack this precise and infallible.  Patton himself running Skynet robots couldn’t pull off an attack this perfect.  At one point I thought the entire population of downtown DC was just armed North Korean terrorists.  They come out of nowhere and just happened to ALL get mere feet away from, again…THE MOST SECURED BUILDING IN THE WORLD.  The supposed secret service decide the best way to stop a bunch of terrorist firing at them with a .50 cal is to just walk directly into the gunfire, bullets be damned.  If it was revealed later that this film was produced by the government in order to get the North Koreans to attempt something this stupid and IMPLAUSIBLE in order to legitimize us kicking their asses then nuking them, I’d buy it.


Look, I try my best not to spoil movies here on the site.  However, I find it to be irresponsible of me as a human being not to prepare you for whats in store if you do plan on seeing this film.  And for those saying that this is like Die Hard in the White House…Like DIE HARD in any shape, form, or F*%KING capacity…shame on you.  Shame…on…you.  You need to slap yourself in the face three times, genuflect to the awesomeness that is John McClane, put in Die Hard, then write a ten page apology letter to Bruce Willis and John McTiernan (In prison) for ever uttering Die Hard in the same paragraph as Olympus Has Fallen.

The acting in this is over the top.  It is cliched and wooden.  It is paint by numbers.  How can a film this stereotypically bad garner talent like Aaron Eckhart, Morgan Freeman, Angela Bassett, and…well Gerard Butler does anything nowadays.  When Sly and his Expendables do films like these, we eat it up because they are being ironic and nostalgically nodding to their earlier classics.  There are no expectations of weight to the performances.  But when you start sprinkling in Academy Award nominees in a film like this, it feels like you just caught them slumming it with some alleyway street walker on the LA strip at three in the morning.  They are all better than this.  Even you Butler.

Olympus Has Fallen is a big budget film that still has a direct to DVD feel.  All the stars and horribly CGIed fireworks they throw at it still can’t polish this turd of a film.  If you watch it…brace yourself…then try to tell me I’m wrong.

(Sigh) Well, at least this will probably be the last film using this stupid White House under siege plot for a while.  (SUDDENLY HANDED A PIECE OF PAPER) I’ve just been informed that a film in June starring Jaime Foxx and Channing Tatum will be about the White House under siege.  And it will be directed by Roland Emmerich.

I’m moving to Canada.

December 25, 2012

Happy Holidays: End Of Watch


One of the most constantly compelling occupations to base a film off of, other than a gangster, is that of a police officer.  More specifically, an officer of the LAPD.  It’s why the television show The Shield was amazing for 7 seasons straight.  It’s why Ethan Hawke and Denzel Washington’s best work to date is arguably in the movie Training Day.  It’s why I watch the Sean Penn Robert Duvall film Colors whenever I catch it on TV.  It is all common and covered ground, but the dangerous and gritty war zone of South Central LA never allows the material to get stale in our eyes.  There is a terrific show on TNT which I should probably review soon called Southland that captures the drama of being a cop in that world.  End Of Watch is Southland on steroids.  A film that sets itself apart as not just a great LA cop drama, but one of the better cop dramas ever made.  And it works primarily because of the CHEMISTRY.

Found footage films have practically become a genre unto themselves.  Done correctly, you get the enjoyably original Chronicle.  Done incorrectly, you get a Cloverfield or one of the five billion Paranormal Activities.  End Of Watch uses the gimmick as a technique but doesn’t make it an overbearing centerpiece of the film.  It is not the thing that you will come away with as being fantastic after watching the film.  It is the relationship between the two leads that makes or breaks End Of Watch.  On paper, it is just a film about two friends working together and living their lives.  It sounds pretty easy to translate that concept to film.  However, if the CHEMISTRY between the two friends doesn’t feel convincing or affable, the film falls apart.  Writer/Director David Ayers lucked out casting two actors who seem to have a rich and real connection.

Say what you will about Jake Gyllenhaal, but he remains one of the most fearless actors in Hollywood.  His charm and ability to fit into any role and still exude true humanity is a rare talent.  It is still a wonder to me why he isn’t a more popular performer.  His character of Officer Taylor reminds me of every cop I’ve ever met.  This is also easily the best performance of Michael Pena’s career.  Some will more than likely point to his role in Crash.  However, he just a small cog in that film.  In End Of Watch, Pena carries a lot of the film and gives A+ effort throughout.  A nod should also be given to America Ferrera’s almost unrecognizable performance as Officer Orozco.  It had to be pointed out to me that it was her.  She definitely needs to do more films like this because I can see her pulling off grittier roles.

End Of Watch is a movie that I knew would be good, but still surprised me as to how good.  The story itself is somewhat predictable and even a little cliche.  However, because you like these guys so much, you forgive it and still want to follow what happens to them.  Put on your dress blues….gear up…roll out…enjoy your Christmas…watch it…then tell me I’m wrong.  

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