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November 13, 2019

A Simplistic Review: The Nightingale

What happens when you take “The Revenant,” “Last House on the Left,” and anchor it with the BRUTAL truth of what the British were really doing while colonizing other lands in the 1800s, well you get “The Nightingale.”

Jennifer Kent is relentless is depicting the horrors of the times and creates a gothic hellscape Down Under.

Hats off to Baykali Ganambarr and Aisling Franciosi for the performances, which are as good as any you’ll see all year.

October 7, 2019

Alphabetic-Horror: Deep Red

A lot of Dario Argento’s work, pre-Suspiria, kind of gets lost in its own history. DEEP RED is the perfect blend of old school giallo, slasher, and lives up to the name DEEP RED.

October 5, 2019

Alphabetic-Horror: Critters 2: The Main Course

I guess it’s weird to enjoy CRITTERS 2 over “Critters” but I’m that guy. The gore is there, it takes place during Easter and you can count on one hand how many horror flicks take place over the day when Jesus came back. Plus! You have a giant ball made out of Critters, or crites, to be more specific.

This one is a winner!

October 3, 2019

Alphabetic-Horror: Bone Tomahawk

In this brutal little nugget, we have Snake Plissken, Jack from ‘Lost’, Night Owl and the stepdad in ‘Step Brothers’ on the hunt for a missing girl taken by some nasty troglodytes in BONE TOMAHAWK. Just a glimpse into the neo-grindhouse genius of S. Craig Zahler.

October 2, 2019

Alphabetic-Horror: Arachnaphobia

We’re kicking off the Halloween season with what was seen as a huge bomb when it was released but holds up as a creepy crawly good time; ARACHNOPHOBIA.

October 1, 2019

A Simplistic Review: Knife + Heart

A TRIP to say the least. “Knife + Heart” takes the classic tropes and psychedelia of Italian giallo but moves it from the comfy confines of a dance school or an apartment in New York and drops you right in the middle of the 1970s gay porn scene.

The violence and sexuality doesn’t pull any punches and it features probably one of the craziest murder weapons I think I’ve ever seen.

The duo of Vanessa Paradis and Nicolas Maury are worth the price of admission.

September 23, 2019

A Simplistic Review: IT Chapter 2

Even after all these years, there’s still a scent of cheesiness to ABC’s version of “Stephen King’s IT.” Aside from the performance of Tim Curry, part two of 1990’s miniseries lacked the overall creepiness of part one and just seemed like a rush job. Luckily you don’t have to worry about “It Chapter II” being rush because this film takes a while…

While staying much closer to the source material, and not being on network TV, this version of “IT” is a nice IMPROVEMENT from what we got almost 30 years ago, including some very good performances, namely Bill Hader, but you also have Jessica Chastain, who just kind of screams a lot.

But hey, albeit a nearly three house runtime, “IT Chapter II” fully realizes what I’m sure Stephen King envisioned when he first finished his 1,000 page epic…an IMPROVEMENT on what we had before.

September 7, 2019

A Simplistic Review: Ready or Not

I’m not here for a long time, I’m here for a good time, and that might be one of the reasons why I like “Ready of Not” so much.

Samara Weaving is a star and a continues a great lineage of Scream Queens that came before her. Shoot, when i first saw trailers for this flick, I thought she was Margot Robbie. Those Aussies comes from good stock.

“Ready or Not” gave me just about the same feeling I got after watching “Cabin in the Woods” for the first time. It was satisfying, just campy enough, and offered just enough freshness to the genre where I had a GRIN on my face nearly the whole time.

People are constantly complaining that we are surrounded by nothing but sequels, superhero fatigue, and animated-to-live action retreads, but we have a great example of a film in “Ready of Not” that will go down as one of those fun cult hits the we’ll wonder why it doesn’t do better monetarily.

March 1, 2019

(Ep. 117): Mystery Movie – Movie Commentary: March 2019

Today we try something new, something mysterious, something crazy! DJ and Justin watch a movie like they did so many times before. But this time it’s different. This time Justin carefully selected from the Simplistic Reviews ever growing library of shitty movies, a film DJ has never seen nor heard of.

And that’s not all. This time DJ has no idea what he will be watching, he knows nothing, just like you!

So join DJ as he is only aware of recording a movie commentary…not what movie…but…a mystery movie!

June 11, 2018

(Ep. 105): The Simplistic Reviews Podcast: June 2018

School might be out for summer, but not the Simplistic Reviews Podcast. We are back with special guest Dan “The Comic Book Concierge” Clark from The GeekCast Radio Network and CinemaGeeks Podcast, a couple of call-in friends of ours stop by, and we discuss everything from IHOP changing to IHOB, Hailee Steinfeld having Shape Of Water sex with an Autobot, and of course, the real problem with Hitler…you’re gonna have to listen to find out what the hell that means on a brand new episode of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast.

NOTES
IHOB
David Tyree
Get A Life

MUSIC
Neon Love By Jeff Dale, Gavin Harrison, and Tim Reilly
Five Dollar Bill By Jason Pedder & Ben Ziapour
Midnight Ride By Richard Kimmings & Jason Pedder
Variety Time By Tim Garland

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