WTF

July 4, 2016

Independence Day: Resurgence

Independence Day: Resurgence – Trash

 

Never has a movie pissed me off more. I mean wtf is going on here? Every element from 96’s ID4 is horrifically whored out like the little slut it apparently is. Listen I get ID4 is not perfect as some people make it out to be, but it was a good summer film that I thought was honestly pure fun. A sequel was never needed. But if it was to become a reality this is far from it. Resurgence is a mess it simply is a thrown together money grabber like Sony is doing with Ghostbusters. There is no reason for any of these films to be made but for greed little shits to make money. This new ID4.2 world is a overblown CG shit feast of a futuristic 2016 that does nothing but make me cringe the entire time.

This whole this is just sad. Everything about this is disgustingly sad.

Dylan Hiller (Hiller’s son) who is played as a complete douche by is back but in the place of his father. Will Smith didn’t want to come back and I fully understand why. The thing about him being thrown into his fathers role is that even though Dylan hasn’t done anything worthy, for some reason he gets to ride his fathers coattails and is placed on the same pedestal. What the hell has he done himself?! Oh and the fact that Will Smith dies during a Test-flight makes the hero Hiller more like a zero. It would of been better if he ate a bullet because he couldn’t take the fame and nightmares anymore. Or maybe because he saw this train wreck. Dylan Hiller is one annoying ass character.
Thor’s brother can’t lead a movie to save is life. He has no charisma. His acting is fine but the dude just can not hold a film on his own. His dialogue also makes him another annoying character in a already bloat annoying character film. Why this character is even here is a mystery to all. Thou he does make a lot of stupid faces which made the film a bit more enjoyable…a bit more.
Goldblum is back! He’s playing the same character as before, just for some reason seems to be a lot smarter now. I mean he was a smart dude before but in this movie he just guesses everything and it’s always completely right. There is like 5 times where everyone is like, “What is this…”. Goldblum just pops in with the right answer out of the blue. The writers did a poor job on this film. Goldblum being brought back was a way to make their job easier to explain and keep plot-holes from manifesting.

Bastards. Oh yeah

Goldblum’s dad is back, he does nothing but put a whole school bus of kids in danger of being brutally killed. Yep that’s it. Seriously watch the movie, he does nothing.

President Bill Pullman is back and…Makes another speech. You know it worked before, but this one is very forced, like rape. Plus his voice was all over the place I’m not sure what happened there and he takes a place of another character from the first ID4. (One that is already dead) Again he’s thrown in because its a sequel! So lets throw Vivica Fox in as well. Who is not a stripper anymore, she a doctor! Good for her and her douche son.
The ending is pretty much the same as the first one, killing the aliens and hugging in a desert. I must say this was one of the laziest movies I’ve seen in years. Guess what? The ending is setup for a sequel. Yep and boy will you be amazed with this ending.

All and all this movie did nothing. Really it is the direct to VHS blockbuster shit version of 96’s ID4. It was utter trash.

March 8, 2015

Rant Corner (Ep.3) – “Siracha 2go” or: Why do people think they need more then just keys on their keychain!

This Rant is more of a public service.

I received an email that boggled me mind to the point I began to rant. Why on earth would someone need this on their keychain? People get your priorities straight!

March 28, 2013

A Good Day to Die Hard

A Good Day to Die Hard: Bullshit

98mins/Action/2013

Might have some spoiling but hey this film spoiled all that was good in the Die Hard universe.

Apparently this was a Die Hard Film…

Die Hard is and will always be the best or one of the best action films ever. Its even in my mind of one of the best films period. Then they did Die Hard 2 which is fine you know its okay, it has wisecracking John McClane so it a fun film. Then we got Die Hard: With a Vengeance which is fantastic! With Samuel L. Jackson this film got very close to original Die Hard. But those two are kinda different, the biggest is Die Hard with a Vengeance’s scope is so much larger, this time it’s racing around New York. Compared too Die Hard which was pretty much 99.9% in a building (which just goes to show you how incredible that film is). Years later we got another one, Live Free or Die Hard. And at the time I had issues with it but it was just fine and I kinda left it at that (I’ll come back to this later).

Then this year we got A Good Day to Die Hard and boy did I die inside. I could make a long ass list of the issues with this film but its not worth your time. So here is just a small bit of the bullshit this film was.

Story is very weak

Plot holes coming out of its ass

Bruce Willis SUCKS…John McClane never shows up

Weak Villain

Shitty Directing.

A Ending that made me shake my head in pain.

His son (Listen he wasn’t that bad, clearly the film was written for him but I came to see John not Jack)

The stupid “Jack we thought you went to Russia and where doing drugs, bullshit, no dad I work for the CIA” It just doesn’t work for me.
And so on…

Action was way out there, going through like 4 floors into water at Chernobyl and just acting like it wasn’t anything. Oh shit and there is a scene where his son gets a piece of rebar in him and they talk and talk then hey lets pull that bar out and boom he’s all good and healed.

Okay so Bruce Willis WTF? He never seems like he wants to be here. The thing about McClane is he is a fantastic character and honestly his lines never seemed like McClane nor did Bruce who was just Bruce. I have a sad theory that the new GI Joe film will have him play a more McClane like character, and that’s not good.
The Ending is so shitty its just sad. Here is what I would do. I would have him get off the plane and meet is Wife and Daughter and BOOM they all die and we end the pain I must now go through in life knowing Die Hard has a shitty film like this. I hated that damn ending. The music, them talking and not hearing what they’re saying (I mean its fine but that went on for like 2 min’s and I kept saying what the hell are they saying?). Then it ends with John half of the screen. The shot was so off it made me very upset. Listen it sums up the film, Johns is half off in this film (Should of been on the poster).
So back to The Live Free or Die Hard. I didn’t care for it when it came out but I watched it again and you know what its so much better compared to this shitfest,  even Bruce seems and sounds like John, why did they not just end it on that one…Oh yeah greed, the number #1 Killer of movies today.
…Oh I paid to watch this. Hummm wonder why people watch movies online, oh yeah to save their hard earned money and not waste it on films that should of never been made…never!
And sorry for the rant with spelling errors but I’m writing this and I quickly started to run away…So depressed.



Welcome to the new home of SimplisticReviews.net - We're currently still working on the site. You might notice a few issues, please be patient with us. Thanks! (Store also in testing — no orders shall be fulfilled.)
Scroll to top