ww2

March 2, 2014

The Monuments Men

The Monuments Men: Bland

118mins | Biography | 2014 

A complete mess of a film due to reasons that kill me and make me cry.
The story behind Monuments is a beautiful one. A group put together to rescue art stolen by the Nazis in World War II. I myself like this story unlike a lot of people online who apparently think its no worth tell. I think it’s one of importance and therefore one that should be told, just not in a theater.
My biggest issue with this film is the amount to be told and not enough time to tell it. Sure 118mins is long enough for most stories but not this one. What they tried to do was fit 10 lb of shit in a 5 lb bag.  This would of worked better as an episodic show on HBO, History Channel or whatever. A 10-part show, 1hr long would be more then enough, not 118mins.
Sadly with the 118mins that they had they wasted it on scenes that didn’t need to be in there. Also having a cast of 7 well-known actors sharing the screen caused issues with time. The amount of unneeded scenes and the editing back and forth of current scenes killed me. Even the camera work and blocking just seemed off, I thought in the theater that this felt very amateurish filmmaking. So much could have been reworked and cleaned up; even the jokes seemed really dare I say it, lame.
So much of this film seemed wasted, and yet I wanted more after it was over.
I wanted to like this film a lot. I adore the time period, the actors and in general filmmaking and at the end I just had a, Whatever vibe. That’s not what I wanted, and that’s not what I expected.

It’s disappointing and I expected better from this company of men.
November 1, 2012

31 Nights Of Halloween, FDR: American Badass

FDR: American Badass: BADASS

Werewolves, Werewolves, they’re everywhere! 

Who can save the day? Who with the silver bullet can kill all these damn Werewolves?…

FDR, that’s who!

Yep its pretty Badass!

Unlike Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter

FDR runs with it and it works! They understand the subject matter of this film and they really do a fantastic job with it.

What can I say about this film but from start to finish my face had a smile on it. It is very funny, it has a vulgar, goofy humor to it… which I love way too much of!

To summarize the story without giving anything away. The film starts with an attack from a werewolf, which during this time FDR contracts polio after being bite from a werewolf. During his  hospital stay, he decides to run for president.  We also find out that the werewolves might of come from Germany.

With the help of Albert Einstein’s wheelchair of death, FDR wins WW2 single handedly.

“I think the Werewolf might of come from Germany”


Franklin D. Roosevelt is played by Barry Bostwick this time around and its perfect. He really is the best thing about this movie. The dialogue is written with words like Cock, Mother Fucker, Bitch, Pimp and Word. It works so amazingly! The dialogue is the funnest thing I’ve heard in years. With FDR saying Pimp and Word just kills me.

Also another president pops up. Honestly I keep hoping they make a spin off with…Please make one, Pretty Please!

“This is Albert Einstein he’s a real jackass…”

Now there a few scenes that lack. They could of been a bit better. But with all the crappy films that I keep seeing come out anymore, I really look over that and give this film a high grade. Its a good time that you shouldn’t pass up.


Please watch this trailer and tell me it isn’t funny!

Welcome to the new home of SimplisticReviews.net - We're currently still working on the site. You might notice a few issues, please be patient with us. Thanks! (Store also in testing — no orders shall be fulfilled.)
Scroll to top