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Saturday, February 17, 2018

(Ep. 100): The One Hundredth Simplistic Reviews Podcast: February 2018



It’s here!
  No, not your tax return…
No, not another government shutdown…
No, not an actual picture of Venom…

It’s the 100th episode of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast!  We got a guest list so prestigious and respected, it should run for president…please…someone…anyone…run for president.  So if you’re going on a short drive on a long road or a long walk off a short pier, stick this in your ear holes and enjoy the bad comedy styling of Matthew Stewart, DJ Valentine, and Justin Polizzi for the 100th time…and then…for the love of God…run for president.




MUSIC
Triumph March By Verdi
Neon Love By Jeff Dale, Gavin Harrison & Tim Reilly
Dark City Beats By John 00 Fleming
Utopia In Peril By Chillout
Plain Jane By Sid Phillips





















Tuesday, February 6, 2018

(Ep. 99): Killer Workout - Movie Commentary: February 2018

Killer Workout
1987 ‧ 1h 25m
Killer Workout, also known under the original title Aerobicide, is a 1986 American slasher film written and directed by David A. Prior. It stars Marcia Karr, David James Campbell, Fritz Matthews, Ted Prior, and Teresa Van der Woude. Wikipedia
Initial release: 1987
Director: David A. Prior
Screenplay: David A. Prior
Music composed by: Todd Hayen

Its here! You or someone requested it (Request a Movie)

Killer Workout
 
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Sunday, January 14, 2018

(Ep. 98): SR Podcast - January 2018

FOR MATURE AUDIENCES

The boys at Simplistic Reviews are back for a brand new year of hijinks, hilarity, intrigue, and murder...well maybe not that last one.  On the January edition of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast, the gang not only tries to unravel the mystery of January Jones' secret baby daddy, they also discuss Star Wars, Star Trek, The Crown, The Wire, and the 1991 Macaulay Culkin animated series Wish Kid...yeah...we're still a pretty weird show.  The boys also reveal some secrets they're not too proud of in the segment Simply Ashamed.  All that, an office search, a porno movie experience and more on a brand new edition of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast

NOTES
X-Factor
Wish Kid
January Jones Kid Mystery
The Wire's Best Scene
Billy Joel Accident


MUSIC
Sexy By Ben Sound
Ying And Yang By John 00 Fleming
The Croft By Joakim Karud

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Friday, January 12, 2018

(Ep. 97): Fit To Kill - Movie Commentary: January 2018

Fit to Kill

R
1993 ‧ Thriller/Action ‧ 1h 34m



L.E.T.H.A.L. Agents Donna and Nicole, accompany and protect a wealthy Asian businessman and his rare diamond against a sinister international jewel thief.

Release: 1993
Director: Andy Sidaris
Screenplay: Andy Sidaris


There isn't anything to say about this film except it is amazing!

Please...Stop whatever your doing and watch this film now!

Honestly this is one of the best we have ever watched on the Simplistic Reviews Movie Commentary. It's been awhile and we are glad to come back to the films by Andy Sidaris. What more could you ask for...

Girls!

Guns!

and 

G-Strings!


I mean clearly it has everything. And to top it off the movie has one hell of a Bond undertone. Just wait till that we get there. We once again tip our hat to you Mr. Sidaris... Thank you! 
P.S. Be on the lookout for a young Kenny Powers



Friday, December 22, 2017

(Ep. 96): Jack Frost 2 - Movie Commentary: December 2017

Jack Frost 2: Revenge of the Mutant Killer Snowman

R
 2000 ‧ Slasher/Fantasy ‧ 1h 31m
_____________________________________________________________________________
 Sam (Christopher Allport) is traumatized by his experience the previous Christmas, battling Jack Frost (Matt Falletta), a murderous snowman possessed by a serial killer. His wife, Anne (Eileen Seeley), thinks a trip to the tropics will get his mind off the snow, so they pack their bags and head to a resort on an island in the Pacific. Meanwhile, the FBI accidentally resurrects Jack's remains during an experiment. Jack heads to the island, covers it in snow and embarks on another rampage.

Initial release: November 21, 2000
Director: Michael Cooney
Film series: Jack Frost Film Series
Music composed by: Chris Anderson
Screenplay: Michael Cooney
Well to finish off our Holiday Movie Commentaries we decided to dive into Jack Frost 2. There is much to say but watch the first Jack Frost and stop. Jack Frost 2 is not a good bad movie but a bad movie. They forgot the good this time around. So stay warm by that fire place and remember not to eat the yellow snow!
Happy Hanukkah
Merry Christmas
Happy Festivus
Happy New Year
and from us all at Simplistic Reviews thank you for listening and reading! We have big things planned this year we think you will enjoy!
 See you next year... 


Sunday, December 17, 2017

(Ep. 95): Elves - Movie Commentary: December 2017

Elves

R
1989 ‧ Drama/Horror ‧ 1h 29m
_________________________________________________________________________________


A department-store Santa Claus (Dan Haggerty) discovers a Neo-Nazi plot to mate a nice girl (Julie Austin) with an elf in Colorado.
Release date:  October 24, 1989
Director: Jeffrey Mandel
Screenplay: Jeffrey Mandel
Music composed by: Vladimir Horunzhy

That time of the year is back when the gang sits around and watches nothing but terrible holiday themed movies.

Today is not only our first appearance of Dan Haggerty here at Simplistic Reviews but also a ending for a movie that flabbergasted DJ. I suppose this would already be enough for a Movie Commentary but nope...that's not all. We also have a homeless department store Santa investigating a modern-day Neo-Nazi plot to finally bring about the master race that Hitler had always dreamed of.

Instead of a race of pure-blood Aryans, it is revealed that Hitler dreamed of a race of half-human/half-elf hybrids.

Yep... what a movie everyone. So grab that egg nog and sit back, things are about to get weird.


Merry Christmas!


P.S. Enjoy the Elves because next week is a cold one set on a tropical island. Try not to question it.


   

Saturday, December 16, 2017

"The Last Jedi" Debate: Seeing It From Both Sides

Well the word is out; "The Last Jedi" is great!

Also, "The Last Jedi" is awful!

Don't you just love the Internet in all of it's infinite wisdom.

With Friday, December 15th being the official official release date of Lucasfilm and Disney's latest cash cow, there's been plenty of talk about where "Star Wars: Episode XIII The Last Jedi" falls in the conversation of greatest "Star Wars" film. We had the same conversation two years ago when "The Force Awakens" was released and we'll have the same conversation again in two years when "Episode IX" is released.

But there is disturbance in The Force for Rian Johnson's sci-fi epic. Whereas JJ Abram's restructuring of "A New Hope" was met with almost universal praise with nostalgia galore and some actual moments that shook the film universe and fanbase to it's core, this time around there seems to be more backlash than ever.

Perhaps this is just the world that we happen to live in now. People love what they love, and people love to shit all over what people love. The people that love the thing they love will defend it, and the people that love to shit on the thing that people love will continue to argue until either their mom turns off the Internet in the house or those people move onto the next thing they decide to shit on. Personally, I love to have a rousing debate, but we've also gotten to a place in this world, and by world I mean the world of Twitter, message boards on Reddit and anywhere else where people can have an opinion until they can't afford it anymore because Net Neutrality is gone (but that's something else to bitch about for a different time) and there is a simple sense of being way too sensitive that someone might not have the same opinion as you. There is also letting the troll win and controlling your emotions in a way that make you re-think what you may really like. Or there is the even more trap of going down to a troll's level and insulting their intelligence because all logic has been thrown out of the window.

These types of things always seem to rear their ugly heads when it comes to fandoms. We rarely see this type of dissension for dramas, comedies, or action films, but it could also be the case that we've all put ourselves in bubbles of protection with like-minded people who all agree on the same thing, and when our opinions are challenged, we usually strike back quite forcefully.

My point is that, sure, you are always going to have to deal with the few people out there with 45 Twitter Followers who bring up a "hot take" and yet we'll go out of our way to re-tweet, or answer or have the classic post "look at this stupid idiot," and at the end of the day, what's the point?

But with all that being said, I love reading an opposing review because honestly most of them are interesting to read. Within our bubble we have built of the safety of protecting all things we hold dear. But isn't it healthy to actually read another opinion and maybe challenging your thinking about something. You might not agree with it, but there are some people that make some compelling arguments, even if you feel those arguments are petty and silly.


Honestly, and let's get into it and stop standing on ceremony, I liked "The Last Jedi." Did I like it more than "The Force Awakens?"

No.

Does that make me a monster? I certainly hope not, but by saying this isn't the best "Star Wars" film, period, is already putting me in the line of fire and leaving my "Star Wars" card up for grabs by the masses that have already anointed this film the greatest.

Why did I like "The Force Awakens" better? For me, it was simply more fun and exciting. I got plenty of nostalgia with "The Force Awakens" and while it introduced some new and exciting characters, it still gave me a lot of what I was used to and wanted to see.

"The Last Jedi," while introducing some new ideas and creating some new relationships, come the end of the film, which for me clocked in at a pretty bloated 2 hours and 32 minutes, had my mind a little fried. But this could have been the poor sound mix in the theater and maybe the fact that I had been up for just about 15 hours after the credits rolled.

Let me just get this out of the way with the gripes: Not a fan of the way Snoke was treated, and the same goes for Luke. The middle sagged. Not a fan of Canto Bight and it's something that could have been cut down to help the run time. Finally, Porgs are just reasons to sell toys, totally worthless.

Could there be some things done in "Episode IX" to fix some of my issues? Of course, and I hope they are and hopefully my worries are assuaged.

On the other side of the coin, there was plenty I liked; The opening space battle sequence. The middle sacrifice. And the ending battle sequence. There was a great scene in all three acts, with two in the final act. But looking at it now, the things I liked don't add to the overall progression of plot, they are more set pieces that look awesome and give "The Last Jedi" it's grand scale.

But at the end of the day, are there fundamental flaws with the film? Sure, but there are fundamental flaws with most Hollywood Blockbusters. Should everyone be able to make their own opinion about a film like this without being accused of not being a fan or having someone say "they feel sorry for them" for not liking something that they happen to love? Of course! But just having to justify why you have an opinion is a microcosm of the world we're living in now. There is always an opinion of someone else's opinion, and if that opinion doesn't match someone else's opinion it is almost always thought of as the wrong opinion. We don't listen anymore, we simply react and shoot off a "hot take" which can be read in so many different ways.

There are times that I long for the days before the Internet. Those days when you would talk about the movie you saw over the weekend with your other friends. And even if you disagreed, you at least had to look someone in their eyes and explain your stance. Those days are gone and everyone is anonymous and hidden behind a keyboard and can say whatever they want without a point or purpose with the benefit of not being found out.

But hey, what do I know. I'm the biggest hypocrite there is most of the time. But at the end of the days, let's all just have a civil conversation about these things and agree to disagree without saying we're all idiots about the things we can't all agree on.

Sunday, December 3, 2017

(Ep. 94) SR Podcast - December 2017

FOR MATURE AUDIENCES
 On this early holiday addition of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast, the boys discuss all the Hollywood news they missed while on Thanksgiving break during an edition of Can You Dig It. They also review everything from The Punisher to Vice Principals during TV Roundup. They even get to try out some new impressions during the game Simply Quotable…and all this is bookended by Justin’s attempt to cancel a gift basket he bought from Costco…yes really. All that, a new trailer spoof, and some underhanded shots at Matt Lauer on this Season’s Greetings episode of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast.

NOTES
Vince McMahon Buys WCW

Sunday, November 26, 2017

Justice League

Justice League: Fun

PG-13
 2017 ‧ Fantasy/Science fiction film ‧ 2 hours
__________________________________________________________________________________________

What Is The Story?


Fueled by his restored faith in humanity and inspired by Superman's selfless act, Bruce Wayne enlists newfound ally Diana Prince to face an even greater threat. Together, Batman and Wonder Woman work quickly to recruit a team to stand against this newly awakened enemy. Despite the formation of an unprecedented league of heroes -- Batman, Wonder Woman, Aquaman, Cyborg and the Flash -- it may be too late to save the planet from an assault of catastrophic proportions. (IMDB)




Did I like it?


Justice League is a fun movie with problems I can't believe went unseen, but lets talk about that later. Did I enjoy JL? I did. This was a film I went into with zero care especially with the amount of crap thrown at me. Whether it be online ads or TV spots I was already hungover by the time JL was hitting screens. So when I sat down and drank my coffee I really had a fun time watching. This wasn't do to the genetic storyline but it was watching these characters and as well having them interacting with each other.


Without the strong characters this film is light on its feet. With the mess that was Suicide Squad and Dawn Of Justice, the key take away was the dark tone. With Wonder Woman that tone changed. What we got was a happier, brighter and more colorful film. This was needed and I believe was part of the success that Wonder Woman had. With JL I am happy to see the dark visuals get toned down. Now it wasn't Wonder Woman levels and in the film it even fights with itself, but still it was nice to see a more colorful look. Don't believe me? Take a look at the comparisons with the first trailer and the newest one. Same exact shots but with a brighter and clear look. The addition of Danny Elfman scoring went a lot further in helping this tone problem WB has.

That 2hr running time should be the new standard. This sets up boundaries for filmmakers like Snyder. Stick with the 2hrs everyone! 

We finally get the classic Superman we have been waiting for. Talking like Superman and acting like Superman.

The Flash is great thou he needs to be turned down a few. Having the Flash at 11 the entire time is a bit draining.

Wonder Woman is still great.

Aquaman was good. Wish we had more but I'm looking more forward to his standalone movie.

Cyborg was better then I was expecting.

Batman was Batman. Wish we had his standalone already. Not sure what is going on behind the scenes but I feel we are missing out on The Batman film not yet shooting.





What Was Bad?


A lot. Story, dialogue, CG, sound mixing and more. Again I am surprised to see some of this in a tentpole film. I had to shake my head a few times do to the sheer craziness of allowing this into the final edit. I understand the issue this film had during production. But I wont allow that to hinder my final view on the film. I would love to talk about the super mustache but I won't because the amount of work that goes into a movie production is incredible. What happened was terrible and I can look past that. Probably should of just added a beard on him to cover it up. The fact that any movie is completed is an achieve on itself.

But some stuff is just surprising. 

The first few minutes should grab your attention but here I was shocked right away. The kids on their phone recording Superman was terrible. Great idea but terrible execution. The video should of been filmed by real kids. I would of loved to see I child film this with other children around in the frame. It felt so fake and that's another issue with this film, cheap execution. The onscreen camera buttons just did not need to be there. This was the first thing we as the audience see and it wasn't done right. 

Then we jump into Batman on the roof capturing a criminal. This entire scene felt out of place on top of that it felt shot like a TV movie, cheap. And out of all the scenes that need to be dark this was lit way too much. Then the stupidest thing I've seen in ages happens. Batman talks to Alfred using his real name right next to the criminal. Are you kidding me? This is a one on one conversation. There is no need for real names. You could use a codeword but again this is two people talking, no confusion on who is talking to who.

Now the criminal knows Batman talks to a man named Alfred, I'm sure he won't go home and google Gotham and Alfred together. Christ. The way these DC films treat Batman's secret identity is appalling.  

Now with the villain I would not go as far as what others are saying. He is definitely not the worst ever. I don't believe that. What I can't believe is why make him a full CG character? Why hire the great Ciarán Hinds and only use his voice. What the hell are you thinking? Throw him in the make up chair and allow him to use his sinister facial expressions to bring that character to life. But hey no one really wants Steppinwolf as the main baddie in a JL film anyways. What if Doomsday was approaching Earth to take it over. First half hr is Doomsday taking over and enslaving humans. Flash goes back into time and sets up the team with a plan to bring back Superman. Bring him back is the only chance they have. Superman comes back as evil and the JL film is about fighting Superman and setting up the arrival of Doomsday in part 2.

That would be in my opinion a better storyline. Perhaps having Batman v. Superman in this universe kills that. Another reason they shouldn't have made that film. Starting to think WB didn't plan any of this out.





My Favorite Parts?


The league fighting Superman. There is a great shot that almost makes the entire movie. More of this WB.

Elfman using Superman's classic theme which got my heart racing. Again more of this WB.

Elfman bringing his Batman 89 theme back brought tears to my eyes. This was the moment the film became more for me. I felt honored to hear that again in a theater. This is Batman's theme just like Star Wars and Bond have theirs. But if you weren't paying attention you might of missed it. It pops up a couple time but the poor sound mixing drowns that out for the general audience. I don't know who is at fault here, someone needs to be brought back. That was almost disrespectful. Felt like the movie was embarrassed of the theme.  

That's the recurring theme with WB and their DC films. They seem to be embarrassed of their property. We have been witnessing this for awhile now. Allow your property to be itself. You saw that happened with Wonder Woman. Your on the right track but I feel like your out of chances. Right now your on track to lose money. It's a shame because this is a ton better then Dawn of Justice. 





Wrap Up


Snyder and Terrio need to go. I do believe Joss Whedon brought this film up to fun for me. If he wasn't apart of it this would of been a remake of Dawn of Justice. Give Whedon the control or hell Patty Jenkins she already showed us she knows the property better. The numbers are there and the people have spoken. It can not continue this way.

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