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Wednesday, October 19, 2016

Announcement! ---UPDATE--- We're BACK ONLINE!

Podcasts are back online.
Find them at...

Google Play Music:


Hey everyone! Podcasts will be back up soon. We have been moving things around and doing some cool things. Youtube still has the podcasts to fill that listening cavity.

Give use a few more days and all will be back! Thanks everyone!

Friday, October 14, 2016

Trailer Hot Take: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story Trailer #2

Full disclosure: Up to this point, I had really only seen the teaser trailers. I'm trying to go into this newest, or older, Star Wars experience with as little information as possible. Of course, many of us know the fate of the people we are going to meet in "Rogue One" but it's going to be the journey and emotional attachment that we fell when we all watch this one, two three, four, or however many times you're going to decide to see this in the theater (I'll dial it back from my seven times in the theater for "The Force Awakens").

Without further adieu, let's breakdown some of the highlights from this newest trailer for "Rogue One."
It's always cool to see a moisture evaporator with an Empire transport ship in the background

Looks like Mads is filming a sequel for both Valhalla Rising and Doctor Strange at the same time
Jyn in a cage with an alien friend
Jedi Rock Formations...but on what planet?
Rogue....Rogue One
Krennic speaking with the Dark Lord of the Sith himself
We have hope....Rebellions are built on hope...

This still doesn't do true justice to what is actually happening here...
Definitely reminds me of a young Zev Senesca
The goosebump moment that we all knew was coming, but still....

Overall, a bone-chilling trailer that should put to sleep most of the bad publicity this film has been getting the last few months. This trailer plays to many emotions, and yes, while some of the dialogue and catchphrases will come off as a tad bit contrite and cliche, that doesn't mean this is going to be a bad film, not one bit. Is it a Hollywood Blockbuster? Of course, but this trailer sold to me the notion that the people making this little "one-off stories" care about the lore, fans, and the universe that has been expertly crafted, most of the time, since 1977.

Tuesday, October 11, 2016

3 Simplistic Things: September 2016

A little late getting around to this post, but here goes nothing...

We had a "Debate"
If that's what you want to call it...let's face it, we're fu*ked either way....

Fear of a Black Man-let
The early returns are in, and while Netflix's Luke Cage is a solid show, critics are pretty split. Of yeah, and this show proves that white people still are still scared of strong and independent black characters and themes that don't support their white agenda....and a white guy is writing this! White AmeriKKKa...please grow up and just appreciate progress...

The Day the Radio Died

Enough said....

Til next month folks....kthnxbye

Saturday, October 8, 2016

Millennial Horror - 2001: Thir13en Ghosts

Thir13en Ghosts -There

Getting into the 2016 Halloween spirit, we are going to pick up right where we left off in 2015. In case you missed it, "Scream 3" was our last attempt and to keep the good times rolling let's revisit another lackluster horror attempt from the early 2000s, namely 2001, with "Thir13en Ghosts" a remake of William Castle's 1960 classic "13 Ghosts."

To be honest, this isn't a bad film. It's got some great set pieces, I love the ghost designs, and the stories behind them, but just like most Dark Castle-produced, there always seems to be something missing. Maybe it's the lack of scares, the over, or poor, acting, or maybe even the inclusion of dated pop culture zeitgeist, ie, Marilyn Manson's "Sweet Dreams' in "The House on Haunted Hill" and using rappers as actors (stay tuned for a review from a film for 2002 coming soon). I guess at the end of the day, you have to take the good with the bad.

The gist of "Ghosts" is that there is this guy trying to collect ghosts in order to powerful machine that would essentially make him a god. He is only missing the Thirteenth Ghost in order to finally bring the machine to full power. A pretty straight forward plot that is at times style-over-substance, but just like many Dark Castle-produced fare, the films are dumb and fun.

The ghosts in the film are interesting, each with their own little mythology and the makeup effects are really quite impressive. With so much emphasis on digital effects in modern horror, it's great to see actual, live people in costumes, it really is a lost art.

The acting is pretty hokey and just plain bad, but again, you take the good with the bad and it doesn't take you out of the film too badly, but yeah, when it's bad, it's bad.

Overall, "Ghosts" is a fun little remake with some nice production design, but plenty of flaws, but that doesn't mean it's unwatchable, besides maybe Rah Digga's acting, you won't be spitting bars, you might just spit up.

Friday, October 7, 2016

Ep. 75: Beware! Children at Play - Movie Commentary: October 2016

Welcome to another Friday Night Family Movie Night!

 Beware! Children at Play

1hr 34mins | Horror | 1989

Well that happened...

DJ and Justin just watched Beware Children at Play. And...Well...It's not so great. It is a slow boring movie that only picks up right at the end. Sure the topic of murdering demoniac crazy children is a fun idea to use in a movie but if you don't do anything with it then its pretty lousy. Hopefully the movie next time is a bit more enjoyable to watch, because even though this trailer looked amazing, the final product was just lame.


Monday, September 12, 2016

The Simplistic Reviews Podcast (Ep. 74) September 2016


This month's show is themed around the genius of the late and great Gene Wilder. As we honor his legacy, we create our very own film monstrosities with a new segment called, "Frankenstein's Monster." Think soap in pillow cases and jackets with scorpions on the back...

We also "blaze" our own saddles and whip out some news in "Excuse Me While I Whip This Out." All this, and antics galore on The Simplistic Reviews Podcast.



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Monday, September 5, 2016

3 Simplistic Things: August 2016

Oh hai August....another month, another 3 Simplistic Things to go over in the Dog Days of Summer. So, Here...we....go....

Suicidal Tendencies
Despite the bad reviews, Suicide Squad continues to make money. Sure, there are plenty of shortcomings with this film, which I really don't have enough time to get into right now, but you can't argue with that fact that people like a train wreck and close-ups of Margot Robbie's ass.

The Night Of...
The age of TV neo-noir continues with another slick HBO series that captivates the Internet. "The Night Of" is simply wonderful and features a performance that should win John Turturro an Emmy, Golden Globe, and any other type of award someone could win for being the best.

If You Want to View Paradise...
Bidding farewell to a Doctor, a Producer, a Cowboy, and a Dream Maker...

Until next month....kthnxbye

Tuesday, August 16, 2016

Ep. 73: Friday the 13th Part III - Movie Commentary: August 2016

Friday the 13th Part III
1982 | Slasher | 1hr 35min

Welcome to the first ever 3D Podcast! How is a audio only podcast in 3D? We have no idea...

Requested by Bradley Taylor,
Friday the 13th Part III once again follows murderer Jason Voorhees, who as a child drowned off the waters of Camp Crystal Lake. Is there anyone that can put an end to Jason's murderous rampage? 

Friday the 13th Part III is a 1982 American 3D slasher film directed by Steve Miner and the third installment in the Friday the 13th film series. Originally released in 3-D, it is the first film to feature antagonist Jason Voorhees wearing his signature hockey mask, which has become a trademark of both the character and franchise, as well an icon in American cinema and horror films in general. As a direct sequel to Friday the 13th (1980) and Friday the 13th Part 2 (1981), the film follows a group of co-eds on vacation at a house on Crystal Lake, where Jason Voorhees has taken refuge. (IMDB)

Friday, August 5, 2016

CUTTING ROOM FLOOR - From Podcast Ep.72

A clip cut from Podcast Ep. 72 ends up on the CUTTING ROOM FLOOR!

Topic "Marc Summers"

On this August edition of The Simplistic Reviews Podcast, the boys come back from their vacation and catch up with what they missed.  JD Duran from Insession Film joins them for a game of Word Association and a brand new game called Simplistic Submarine.  The entire Insession family also helps the boys with their ode to Jason Bourne.  Yo-Ho-Ho mateys! All that and more on this episode of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast.

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